Depression and Grey banishing success stories?

[iorost]

I'm wondering if any of you have been through and triumphed over what I face. The spiraling depression, the constant feeling of overwhelming fear comparable to the time I glimpsed the astral through ''sleep paralysis'' only to be greeted by the emotionless faces of greys? Since discovering Satan over a year ago my depression has gotten worse.

I hadn't been the best at continuing meditation, and I still haven't done a physical blood dedication to Satan, but I felt as if he was with me regardless of my amateur attempts at pledging allegiance through my mind. But as time passes things are getting worse. I have no motivation to do anything. I'm at the point I can't even play a fucking video game whereas I'd been a huge nerd my whole life until I got attacked by greys! When I meditate now I am overwhelmed by DEADLY fear. Lately I've been thinking Satan has abandoned me, but at the same time just yesterday some 'coincidences' reminded me of him.

I know that it's up to me, but the dark thoughts are constant. I can't shake them. I can't even meditate now. I want to improve myself, I want to shake this depression and live my life as a human being should but it's so difficult. I'm sorry if this seems as a weakling whining....but I'm a noob who got woke up and got  targeted by forces I was unprepared to deal with. Satan has been with me...but it's against Satan's nature to just step in and force himself on one's life it seems, which is awesome...but at the same time horrible. I know I'm weak for saying this but I need his help, all of the Gods help and I need yours. Do any of you have stories of overcoming your crippling depression? Of finally murdering astral vermin like the greys and being able to advance yourself? If so please share....

My emo-like suffering is getting unbearable. Yes I can make a joke about it but in all brutal honesty it's ruining my life. I literally have no motivation like I said and when I meditate it's pointless because I always wind up scared. The constant thought that they use against me is that Satan is evil, and only craves blood in exchange to help others. I know it's bullshit but at the same time, against logic, it's so god damn convincing....and I wasn't even a christian before finding you guys! Damn I feel like I'm begging but I need help. And yes, I disappoint myself with my weakness. I feel inside that if anything, Satan could only not abandon me, but leave me because he knows I'm not worth the time to help. I'm too weak.

 

[shantikami]

When it got bad for me, I traced the "algiz" rune on each of my walls, windows and door with my finger; it means protection. That did help, because the act of physically (as well as mentally) doing something was soothing. Mindful breathing might be able to help, as you would be too focused on breathing to be overwhelmed by your feelings and by the attacks.
...I wish I could help you, more, but I am one of the lesser experienced members, here. Hopefully I have given you something useful.

 

[Ass Hole]

You have the answers to your own problems, since you can identify them one after another. If you've read the JoS website well, you would have seen where there's always this warning about not doing the things you see on the site unless you're dedicated (paraphrased). I told myself that if I'm going to do something this dramatic, this meaningful in my life as a former chronic Christian then I'm going to do it right at least until I'm a guru in it, then I can choose to reduce my affirmation numbers during protection meditation etc. There's a warning on the site that says what's happening to you can happen to an undedicated Satanist, but why it doesn't happen to Satanists is cos Satan watches out for His own after you have dedicated. My advise is for you to get the required materials for dedication and do it, it won't cost you much. I think only that step will solve your problem. Dedication is a formality to show Him how serious you are, He's not the impostor god who you can give ur heart by just shutting ur eyes and saying words. The fact that you did not only think about dedicating but gave your time to arranging for the materials to dedicate with, then in most cases spend your money to purchase them and on the day, you light ur candles and cut yourself till you can get enough blood to sign your name with, I think is the reason why Satan watches out for his own, He would be assured that you are His. cos he knows it will take you pain to do it, you'll have reasons not carry on with the ritual, a lot of reasons but yet you did it. Its most satisfying even to you not to think of Father Satan Himself.
Hail Satan.

On Jan 24, 2014 6:09 PM, <iorost@... wrote:

  I'm wondering if any of you have been through and triumphed over what I face. The spiraling depression, the constant feeling of overwhelming fear comparable to the time I glimpsed the astral through ''sleep paralysis'' only to be greeted by the emotionless faces of greys? Since discovering Satan over a year ago my depression has gotten worse.

I hadn't been the best at continuing meditation, and I still haven't done a physical blood dedication to Satan, but I felt as if he was with me regardless of my amateur attempts at pledging allegiance through my mind. But as time passes things are getting worse. I have no motivation to do anything. I'm at the point I can't even play a fucking video game whereas I'd been a huge nerd my whole life until I got attacked by greys! When I meditate now I am overwhelmed by DEADLY fear. Lately I've been thinking Satan has abandoned me, but at the same time just yesterday some 'coincidences' reminded me of him.

I know that it's up to me, but the dark thoughts are constant. I can't shake them. I can't even meditate now. I want to improve myself, I want to shake this depression and live my life as a human being should but it's so difficult. I'm sorry if this seems as a weakling whining....but I'm a noob who got woke up and got  targeted by forces I was unprepared to deal with. Satan has been with me...but it's against Satan's nature to just step in and force himself on one's life it seems, which is awesome...but at the same time horrible. I know I'm weak for saying this but I need his help, all of the Gods help and I need yours. Do any of you have stories of overcoming your crippling depression? Of finally murdering astral vermin like the greys and being able to advance yourself? If so please share....

My emo-like suffering is getting unbearable. Yes I can make a joke about it but in all brutal honesty it's ruining my life. I literally have no motivation like I said and when I meditate it's pointless because I always wind up scared. The constant thought that they use against me is that Satan is evil, and only craves blood in exchange to help others. I know it's bullshit but at the same time, against logic, it's so god damn convincing....and I wasn't even a christian before finding you guys! Damn I feel like I'm begging but I need help. And yes, I disappoint myself with my weakness. I feel inside that if anything, Satan could only not abandon me, but leave me because he knows I'm not worth the time to help. I'm too weak.

 

[iorost]

Thank you. I've tried the algiz rune but not actually doing anything physcial, I'll give it a try and keep trying to meditate. I just can't keep my concentration because of the constant trolling of negative thoughts.