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Dating: Lies Told to Men [part 1]

AvatarHigh Priestess Lydia Coventina11 min to read

The enemy has worked long and hard to destroy us in various ways. One of these ways is our basic happiness of having a partner with whom we have a sense of belonging, someone to strive towards life goals with, someone to grow and advance with. Love is imperative for growth, it is how the Gods made us, and the enemy knows this and has done everything they can to exploit or destroy this.

For this post, I will use the word “marriage”, but of course this applies to any significant relationship, not just the legal contract or church marriage. Love is not always simplistic, there are other forms of relationships that are better suited for some people.

There are many lies told to us regarding this topic. One of which, is the whole concept of “dating”. These days, it is made out to be the winning goal: have lots of dates. Thinking critically, this is obviously not the end goal. The purpose of dating used to be to find a partner and get married.

But now, married men are looked down upon in the hierarchy of men while the ones who can’t even keep a long-term relationship are seen as the “most successful” just because they get a bunch of meaningless dates with random women. Marriage is seen as being “tied to the old ball-and-chain” (spouse).

Not everyone is meant to find a permanent relationship from a young age, many people are still on a journey of evolving and will have more relationships through their current life. This is perfectly normal and healthy for various people.

But the current trend (for the past few decades) of feeling the need to constantly “play the dating game” prevents people from finding lasting love, promotes a sense of narcissism yet simultaneously a sense of inferiority, and prevents people from being able to have real bonds with others. Adding to this, the world opened up a lot in recent decades and people now have too many choices, too many options, which makes them unable to narrow in on a select few. And the common mindset of “the grass is greener on the other side” doesn’t help.

People are being programmed to feel insecure and worthless, over random things that don’t even truly matter. Ask yourself what actually matters in life, and keep it in mind.

Lie: You need to be very attractive/tall/fit to find a partner, otherwise you’re doomed to be an incel.

Have the people who believe this, never looked at reality? Just look at all the ugly, short, fat men who find wives and live a happy family life. As for height, not all women like tall men, so stop telling yourself that’s what all women want.

Something very important you should know: women like familiarity. If we have feelings for a man, he is more attractive in our eyes. Some women aren’t like this and are shallow, but for most of us, we find the men we love to be more attractive to us. We also tend to think our male relatives are more attractive, simply because they are of us, of our blood.

Exercising will increase your appearance and put you into a higher category, plus it’s just good for your physical and mental health anyway; but it is not necessary, as proven by all the out-of-shape men who still find love anyway.

Lie: You need to make a lot of money to impress women.

For certain women, yes. This is in their natal charts, to marry wealthy men of status. But for most women, it isn’t. Most people are average (of varying degrees and areas) and will end up with partners who are on equal to them. Again, look at reality. Look at all the couples who scrape by on not much money, but they still have each other.

There are many things that can impress a woman. The ability to hold a conversation, the ability to fix something in the house, the ability to develop a skill or work on a talent, the ability to be reliable and trustworthy, the ability to bring us out of a rut and add excitement into our lives, the ability to make us feel valued and special, the ability to get along with our friends and family, the ability to take an interest in our interests, as a few examples. The list is endless!

Lie: It’s impossible to get a girlfriend, let alone a wife.

Get this out of your head. De-program yourself from those incel websites you follow, they are ruining your mind and your life. It’s easy to find someone. De-program your mind and do a freeing the soul working if needed, if you have any karma or curses regarding relationships. Don’t listen to toxic naysayers who gave up on life, find better friends who encourage you. Learn from people who have real life experience.

Lie: Relationships are too hard, so why bother?

Well, there is work involved. But this is a part of life. You struggle to get ahead in life, or you stagnate and dissipate. Give and take, help your partner and you get helped in return. If you love someone, doing things becomes easier in a way, because you have more of a sense of purpose, and you get more out of it. Why cook food for just yourself, when you can make an enjoyable meal together?

Lie: You need to go to a bar to meet women.

Sure, if you’re looking for a drunken one-night-stand. But if you’re looking to meet someone significant, you’d be better off meeting through friends or family, or through a hobby or at an event.

Lie: You need to be super-confident and outgoing.

A lot of women prefer men who are more introverted, who spend more time thinking and reading, for example. We all have our own personalities, women do not all like the exact same type of man. Many men who are shy are very endearing. And if you don’t know something, be open about it, but you can mention your other skills. And work on developing skills. Those of you who are donors read my article some months ago on Real Self-Confidence, I hope it was helpful.

Lie: You need to approach every woman as a potential date.

No! Many of us are meant to be friends. The Gods want men and women to be friends. Having friends of the opposite gender can enrich your life and broaden your mind, and propel society forwards. Of all the women in the world, not all are meant to be your partner. Treating every woman as a potential date automatically limits the interaction and prevents networking for friends, gaining various opportunities, or otherwise expanding your life in whatever way.

Lie: You need to pretend to be someone you’re not.

Don’t ever do this, because you will only get women who are not suited for you anyway, and you will be unhappy with yourself. Learn to appreciate who you are, develop any areas you are lacking in, in a healthy way for you. In order to find the most suitable partner for you, you must be yourself. Present yourself as you are (maybe polish up any bad manners or crassness, but not in a pretentious way). Also, any women of quality is likely to see through falseness.

Lie: You need to wear fancy suits (or whatever trendy clothing style).

Lots of women actually don’t like these clothes. Be yourself, wear the clothes that make you happy. Just make sure they are relatively clean and don’t smell bad. Maybe consider trying a new updated style, but basically stick with reflecting your personality and tastes.

Lie: If you have not yet had a girlfriend, you are an “incel” and will always be so.

Get this out of your head. Many people do not enter significant relationships until a bit later in life, this is in the natal chart and has been common throughout history. And get rid of the word “incel”, rid yourself of thinking this is your identity. The word used to be “bachelor”, which is far more respectable. Don’t program yourself to believe you will always be an “incel”, because your thoughts are powerful especially as you advance.

Let me make this very clear: you shape your reality. Make sure you shape it in the best way for you, and do the necessary workings and actions to shape the life you want.

Tying in with this: your life will not always remain the exact same. We go through transformations in life. Transiting Pluto entering a new natal house or aspecting a natal planet can be life-changing. Uranus too. What you are now, is not what you will always be. Stay open to guidance from the Gods for ways to change your life for the better!

Lie: You need a girlfriend/wife this very instant or else you’re doomed and a failure.

No, you can focus on other areas of life, such as getting ahead in your career as much as you can, before finding someone to spend time with. You can put the extra energy you have during your teens and 20’s to further your training and career. Life is not something to be entirely won by a set age, it’s a full path of evolving and developing.

Which leads us to the opposing lie:

Lie: You shouldn’t have a relationship until you are X age.

Many successful relationships, and successful people who have relationships, began when they were still in high school. Life happens at different stages for different people, all of humanity will never have the exact same experiences at the exact same ages. That’s not how life works, as shown in astrology and proven by observing reality, both current and historically.

Lie: You must get married.

Not necessarily. We all have our own paths in life, most people should get married and have a family, but this is not for everyone. If it’s your path to remain a bachelor then do so, but don’t be closed to the idea of at least having a romantic companion for part of your life’s journey. Love is not always simplistic, there are other forms of relationships that are better suited for some people. And we are not YOLO, we have stages in our lifetimes to Godhead.

Lie: You need attention from women to be validated in life.

Don’t be a narcissist, don’t think all the women in the entire world are supposed to notice you, don’t think you’re the only person in existence. Everyone has their own things going on in life. You get attention from your friends and family, and occasionally from strangers. And, don’t think you are worthless by not getting attention from everyone. This is a very unhealthy mindset to have. Don’t feel inferior to those who get more attention than you do. Feel comfortable and happy with yourself, and know that the Gods and Goddesses are on your side; this alone should make you feel content if others don’t always notice you.

Lie: What you see on social media etc is the truth, or representative of all women.

Social media is filled with lies and illusions and people living in delusions and trying to project those delusions. Also, the women there do not reflect all women. Many women are shy or not interested in being an “influencer”. The influencers of social media are grossly over-represented, because they are the ones on social media; hence, the ones you see most often. Ignore what they want or claim or state, because they are only a small percentage of the female population and they certainly do not speak for all women.

Lie: You should always be noble and fair to other men when dating.

Ever hear the phrase “all’s fair in love and war”? Shake off your competition and go after the woman you want. She will appreciate the fact that you want her that much, and she will feel more valued by you.

In closing, ignore the lies that are meant to program us. Always think critically and observe reality, both current and historically. Have hope, never give up hope for a better future. We will lead the world to a brighter future.

On a final note, here’s a tip to help you with women: work on your personality and your mind. These are the things that matter, and will keep her interested in you. Improve your conversational skills, ensure she feels like you are truly listening to her, establish a connection with her. Relationships are built over time and shared experiences. Be patient when required, be spontaneous when required, be passionate when required.

Love is a journey, and is meant to benefit everyone involved.

[Part 2 will be regarding lies told to women.]

#1

The enemy has worked long and hard to destroy us in various ways. One of these ways is our basic happiness of having a partner with whom we have a sense of belonging, someone to strive towards life goals with, someone to grow and advance with. Love is imperative for growth, it is how the Gods made us, and the enemy knows this and has done everything they can to exploit or destroy this.

For this post, I will use the word “marriage”, but of course this applies to any significant relationship, not just the legal contract or church marriage. Love is not always simplistic, there are other forms of relationships that are better suited for some people.

There are many lies told to us regarding this topic. One of which, is the whole concept of “dating”. These days, it is made out to be the winning goal: have lots of dates. Thinking critically, this is obviously not the end goal. The purpose of dating used to be to find a partner and get married.

Thank you for this, High Priestess!

#2

Impressive post! I can see how much effort you put into it, and I'm sure it's going to help countless men.

"Lie: Relationships are too hard, so why bother?"

This is one of the biggest lies I see most often. It's cultivated by people who think that, when you find "the most compatible" person, everything will be extremely easy. A bed of roses. Reality obviously differs because, when things are too easy, you start taking them for granted. You do not value them. Saturn is the teacher of true value.

Thanks again for this post on behalf of every heterosexual person on the forum!

Last update: 05/07/2025 (all links updated, except the useful reads)

Apologies if I'm being slow on private messages. I will get back to you at some point.

Heil Zeus!
Heil Apollo!
Satanama!

#3

I disagree, but I respect your opinion.

... εἰ δὲ νοεῖς, ἔστιν, ὦ βασιλεῦ, ϰαὶ σωμάτων ἀσώματα. — Ποῖα; ἔφη ὁ βασιλεύς. — Τὰ ἐν τοῖς ἐσόπτροις φαινόμενα σώματα οὐ δοϰεῖ σοι ἀσώματα εἶναι; — Οὕτως ἔχει, ὦ Τάτ· ϑείως νοεῖς, ὁ βασιλεὺς εἶπεν. — Ἔστι δὲ ϰαὶ ἀσώματα ἄλλα, οἷον αἱ ἰδέαι οὐ δοϰοῦσιν εἶναί σοι, ἀσώματοι οὖσαι, ἐν σώματι φαινόμεναι, οὐ μόνον τῶν ἐμψύχων ἀλλὰ ϰαὶ τῶν ἀψύχων; — Εὖ λέγεις, ὦ Τάτ. — Οὕτως ἀνταναϰλάσεις εἰσὶ τῶν ἀσωμάτων πρὸς τὰ σώματα, ϰαὶ τῶν σωμάτων πρὸς τὰ ἀσώματα, τουτέστι τοῦ αἰσϑητοῦ πρὸς τὸν νοητὸν ϰόσμον ϰαὶ τοῦ νοητοῦ πρὸς τὸν αἰσϑητόν· διὸ προσϰύνει τὰ ἀγάλματα, ὦ βασιλεῦ, ὡς ϰαὶ αὐτὰ ἰδέας ἔχοντα ἀπὸ τοῦ νοητοῦ ϰόσμου. ὁ οὖν βασιλεὺς ἐξαναστὰς ἔφη, Ὥρα ἐστίν, ὦ προφήτα, περὶ τὴν τῶν ξένων ἐπιμέλειαν γενέσϑαι· τῇ δὲ ἐπιούσῃ περὶ τῶν ἑξης ϑεολογήσομεν.

#4

Thank you, is fondamental to fix every issue between males and females, and masculine energies and femmine energies.

This is probably the biggest problem with the current state of the world.

#5

The enemy has worked long and hard to destroy us in various ways. One of these ways is our basic happiness of having a partner with whom we have a sense of belonging, someone to strive towards life goals with, someone to grow and advance with. Love is imperative for growth, it is how the Gods made us, and the enemy knows this and has done everything they can to exploit or destroy this.

For this post, I will use the word “marriage”, but of course this applies to any significant relationship, not just the legal contract or church marriage. Love is not always simplistic, there are other forms of relationships that are better suited for some people.

There are many lies told to us regarding this topic. One of which, is the whole concept of “dating”. These days, it is made out to be the winning goal: have lots of dates. Thinking critically, this is obviously not the end goal. The purpose of dating used to be to find a partner and get married.

Really wonderful post High Priestess Lydia, I was that kind of guy who to conform to this sick society, to receive esteem and approval from my male friends I had many dates with girls and had many casual experiences with them.

I was always very deep, I was always looking for that serious story that touches the depths of the soul. But when I realized that most girls saw the less serious guy as cool, I had to adapt with resignation.

I found myself dealing with many women, and pursuing meaningless, empty relationships, until I found my current woman. It was wonderful to discover how much true love can change your life, mutually committing to improve yourself and face life in the best way, is part of spiritual advancement itself in my opinion.

#6

I disagree, but I respect your opinion.

Can you explain in what points and why?

#7

I've read that on places like Tinder, many and many men will compete for one woman, and that the odds are totally against you. But when you just approach women, you're literally putting yourself in front of all those men and gain a massive advantage. I did like that, and now I've been in love for 2 years.

I am reaching towards a green apple.

#8

Thank you!

The Gods want men and women to be friends.

Wow, this was unexpected. I have been thinking about this and my conclusion (wrongfully) was that male and female friendship will end up in love from at least one side so it's "not stable" and so there is no such a thing. Thanks for clarifying.

#9

I've read that on places like Tinder, many and many men will compete for one woman, and that the odds are totally against you. But when you just approach women, you're literally putting yourself in front of all those men and gain a massive advantage. I did like that, and now I've been in love for 2 years.

On Tinder, the majority are low-quality people. The minority of high-quality people are not shown because the algorithm is rigged. The algorithm checks your swipes. As far as I know, it increases your score based on that. For example, if you like 7 out of every 10 profiles you swipe on, you'll have a higher score. If you're reasonably picky like you should on that cesspool, you'll have a low score.

They also have AI analysing your pics to determine what race you are and show a 'good proportion' of people of other races.

I'm in favor of Maha eugenics

HPS Lydia never promoted ugliness and being unfit, and she never will. She just pointed it's statistically not necessary to be handsome or fit, because most men can find a woman without being handsome or fit.

So please elaborate your disagreement, instead of shooting one-liners like people with poor written communication skills.

Last update: 05/07/2025 (all links updated, except the useful reads)

Apologies if I'm being slow on private messages. I will get back to you at some point.

Heil Zeus!
Heil Apollo!
Satanama!

#10

The enemy has worked long and hard to destroy us in various ways. One of these ways is our basic happiness of having a partner with whom we have a sense of belonging, someone to strive towards life goals with, someone to grow and advance with. Love is imperative for growth, it is how the Gods made us, and the enemy knows this and has done everything they can to exploit or destroy this.

For this post, I will use the word “marriage”, but of course this applies to any significant relationship, not just the legal contract or church marriage. Love is not always simplistic, there are other forms of relationships that are better suited for some people.

There are many lies told to us regarding this topic. One of which, is the whole concept of “dating”. These days, it is made out to be the winning goal: have lots of dates. Thinking critically, this is obviously not the end goal. The purpose of dating used to be to find a partner and get married.

🔥😍🔥, thank you HP Lydia for this amazing sermon. I think it will help a lot of men and grow our family. I personally I have thought of all the stuff you talked about and ended on the same conclusion you are( in examples of behavior ect). It was refreshing to be reminded of such things of what to avoid/ strive for and just good for mental outlook when it comes to “ dating” . Hail Satan hail Lucifer .

#11

She just pointed it's statistically not necessary to be handsome or fit, because most men can find a woman without being handsome or fit.

I would like to raise a question if it's okay. This may come from inescurity, I'm almost certain of it, but I'd still like to ask: isn't this only possible because women just "settle" with the guy? Technically speaking, they have the power in a relationship as they are considered the "prize" (I personally disagree but that doesn't matter). This being said, everyone, whether man or woman would like to have the best partner by their side. Therefore, if, statistically, most of us can get a woman, wouldn't that mean that she is essentially just staying with that man until she can find someone that she likes more? What I'm saying is, that fat, ugly dude might have a girlfriend, but chances are it's mostly a temporary commitment, until something better shows up. It just so happens that the very top men are taken, so most relationships are just "temporary", or at a stalemate, by that same definition. I quoted you because that part gave way to my question but I'd like to hear what HPS Lydia would have to say about it, too, since most of the post is amazing.

#12

Thank you HPS Lydia for this Sermon.

Lies are bad in a society.

#13

Our enemies are not dead yet. Starting to talk about love now will only lead to the faster destruction of future generations. Give up illusions and prepare for struggle.

You got it completely lopsided... Giving up on love, affection, and hopes for passing the torch to the next generation is the true destruction of future generations. Our enemy deserves no attention outside of what is necessary, and they are certainly not 'winning' anything. But if we would follow your view they might as well win.

#14

You got it completely lopsided... Giving up on love, affection, and hopes for passing the torch to the next generation is the true destruction of future generations. Our enemy deserves no attention outside of what is necessary, and they are certainly not 'winning' anything. But if we would follow your view they might as well win.

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

#15

Our enemies are not dead yet. Starting to talk about love now will only lead to the faster destruction of future generations. Give up illusions and prepare for struggle.

Amuro you are just blocking out love and your human needs and project this to supposedly it being a purpose for "the struggle", while it's unrelated.

That is a form of emotional denial, that seeks to dissuade you from actually doing what is good.

Having things to defend will make you far more resolute in the pursuit against the enemy. When one has things like that to lose, one understands why one must win.

Yes you should build your life and go after what you need, the enemy is 5% of a problem and the rest of 95% of the world is still ongoing fine. Enjoy life and live it, despite of this and that will make you more effective in fighting them too.

#16

Yes. Find a Christian man or some other type of enemy and have some slave children. Spend most of the rest of your life working, earning a pittance and barely supporting yourself. You will lose most of your privacy and the opportunity to meditate and fight. Your life will become ordinary and vulgar, just like that of other slaves.

While you are "enjoying life," the enemy is trying to attack you. After decades of enjoying a "happy life" like this, you will see enemies bringing their weapons to destroy everything about you.

If you care about the ones you love, you should take responsibility and stop seeking pleasure and spend your time protecting them.

#17

You wrote some cool things, but the truth is objectively brutal and not relative, and there is a brutal truth that you deny, pretend it doesn't exist and neglect... maybe you do it to "give hope" and "motivation".

But the brutal truth that cannot be ignored is the hypergamy of human women.

A Woman tends/wants marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior social or biological background.
A woman has a natural attraction to the victorious man, to the best man available to her.

Another brutal truth that you completely ignore is the competition between men for women.

Being a normie in this game is a disgrace.

Because women only want the "normie" when they don't have the opportunity to be with the "best" or the better one.

Being ugly instead of a "normie" is an even worse misfortune!

The body matters too much!
The body is definitely decisive in love experiences!

The sad thing is we are predestined to have a body subject to our parents' genes and childhood habits that are imposed on us and we have no control over. It seems to me that incarnating in a handsome/tall or ugly/short body is a random game of chance and that's sad because it impacts your love life and having a frustrated or failed love life is the cause of a lot of suffering.

#18

The enemy has worked long and hard to destroy us in various ways. One of these ways is our basic happiness of having a partner with whom we have a sense of belonging, someone to strive towards life goals with, someone to grow and advance with. Love is imperative for growth, it is how the Gods made us, and the enemy knows this and has done everything they can to exploit or destroy this.

For this post, I will use the word “marriage”, but of course this applies to any significant relationship, not just the legal contract or church marriage. Love is not always simplistic, there are other forms of relationships that are better suited for some people.

There are many lies told to us regarding this topic. One of which, is the whole concept of “dating”. These days, it is made out to be the winning goal: have lots of dates. Thinking critically, this is obviously not the end goal. The purpose of dating used to be to find a partner and get married.

I started doing a lot better with women when i stopped trying to date them and just tried to be their friends love is an emotion but if your going to pick a singular partner to be with you should actually like that person as the person they are and not all this other BS, now I'm getting married to another pagan no less.

While its not necessary to be handsome, tall, rich, or even very gentlemanly these do help out i do have to admit i have progressed from mining to oil and gas work now so im wealthy but i wouldn't say im rich perhaps after 5 to 10 years working in oil and gas i can become rich as in truly rich where i sit back and all my working dollars now work for me and i can focus on mastering the magnus opus instead of calling on Satan to help me finish it past the preliminary stages.

there are things you cant change about yourself but you can always strive to do better and overcome and achieve life goals i dropped out of highschool im not the most intelligent person but im very wise the difference being i would say would be knowing what your talking about example Nikola Tesla and knowing when to speak Marcus Aurelius.

I'm admittedly blessed in the looks department though and i was taught to be respectful and kind by my parents.

But most of these things can be changed over time with dedication and hard work while you shouldn't be judged on by these things the unfortunate truth is that you are whether the person or people your hoping to attract to you are mature enough to look past the fact that you maybe short with not much money and perhaps the were hit one too many times with the ugly stick but your a good person and a good soul underneath is another matter.

Don't short sell yourself
Don't give into doubt
Work hard
Educate yourself
Improve your standing

The fact your even here reading this means your already cut from a different cloth to all the others around you, you have real spiritual power and you have the collective wisdom, power and intelligence of beings that are vastly older then the human race's entire existence some of them thrice over USE IT. not to mention you have tens of thousands of witches all around the world praying for your success, your good health, your good fortune.

I slowly worked my way up from construction to mining and now oil and gas for the last 8 years i bought my tickets talked to the right people maintained my relationships and grew myself and my wealth along with it i work 12 hr days i still go to the gym for an hr and a half after work i still donate to jos i still do my spiritual work and training im still maintaining my relationship with a girl over seas who im now getting married to for years meeting up on holidays and when we can if a mediocre guy from highschool like me can do it anyone can.

"None of you know me here but you will"

#19

Lie: You should always be noble and fair to other men when dating.

Ever hear the phrase “all’s fair in love and war”? Shake off your competition and go after the woman you want. She will appreciate the fact that you want her that much, and she will feel more valued by you.

About this point. Let's say that I really love a girl, but she has a boyfriend. Is it right to destroy their relationship in order to get a chance with the girl? Because I feel like that's quite a big intervention from me in her life and I have no guarantee that it will work out in the end. So if it doesn't, I basically destroyed her life. What do you think about this? Not that I care about the "guy" in particular way, it's more about her happiness.