I've been trying to post this since a very long time, and I guess today I must. Need to free myself!
Coming to jos, my hopes and expectations were at a peak point to get the most out of, however then I kept patience and the quality of being happy with whatever goes around.
Obviously, this was not going to happen because when you actually need something, and if you're a Satanist .. it's a constant ringing reminder of sorts in your mind that you've already pledged your life to a very entity that personifies freedom of life, especially by fighting a god worshipped by majority of the planet.
Yes, I agree that personal growth and empowerment is the writing on the wall and yet there are instances where you need that approving sign, at least that the journey from A to B was worth taking.
Almost all of the above feelings, I've tried to term them as my personal anxieties or just stress.. worries that can be dealt with, and yes I fight and they all eventually pass and I'm left happy and going. But it's really not that simple. Constantly boosting your energies so you could be rather optimistic about such feelings, than be self doubting and insecure is just not easy.
obviously, the choice to make is always easy!
Even with the DIY and heightened mentality to take charge of your life needs to be a strong ship, and not Titanic. The ship also needs the clear oceans for voyage!
Daily I'm trying to find any faults and trying to rectify it with an empowered me, but it's like ship maintenance. which often involves fear of how the Titanic sank!
As I get habitual, I just attach it as a responsible need that most champions go through from life, especially growing up!
I've tried many times to bring up that game changer moments, matter of fact I'm already on something huge that matters to me the most. But this time, I don't really have my own self to go through this... and I'm afraid just like my numerous failed hustles, this is going to be like the end.
Now, I'm left with only one thing and only one thing and that is a sincere prayer to father Satan to help me get through this single thing at least, even though he's totally been away from me when I needed him. Just for his chilling energies, how wouldn't it help me pass through something too important to me?
This seems familiar because sadly, I've been through this as in the past before discovering occult and jos. I've been a jebus simp however I was just too young to figure out, and when I finally got to Satan's den, I considered it a necessity to actually go and grow with it, rather than kneeling to jesus even for little things.
If I were to confess, in past I've been dancing to the atheistic beats of the church of satan, so I can fill in myself to stay on a 'satanic' commitment as either you're still a 'satanist' and be confident in staying on the opposing side with the adversary!
Their is definitely a very addictive and appealing vibe to be a Satanist and somewhere it syncs very well. I hope the rhythm keeps me and all of us going to wherever we find best for us or for all of us, or for all of the world.
For the moment now, let's just hope things finally turn the way I expect at least for once and I'm trying to be confident about all of this.
Coming to jos, my hopes and expectations were at a peak point to get the most out of, however then I kept patience and the quality of being happy with whatever goes around.
Obviously, this was not going to happen because when you actually need something, and if you're a Satanist .. it's a constant ringing reminder of sorts in your mind that you've already pledged your life to a very entity that personifies freedom of life, especially by fighting a god worshipped by majority of the planet.
Yes, I agree that personal growth and empowerment is the writing on the wall and yet there are instances where you need that approving sign, at least that the journey from A to B was worth taking.
Almost all of the above feelings, I've tried to term them as my personal anxieties or just stress.. worries that can be dealt with, and yes I fight and they all eventually pass and I'm left happy and going. But it's really not that simple. Constantly boosting your energies so you could be rather optimistic about such feelings, than be self doubting and insecure is just not easy.
obviously, the choice to make is always easy!
Even with the DIY and heightened mentality to take charge of your life needs to be a strong ship, and not Titanic. The ship also needs the clear oceans for voyage!
Daily I'm trying to find any faults and trying to rectify it with an empowered me, but it's like ship maintenance. which often involves fear of how the Titanic sank!
As I get habitual, I just attach it as a responsible need that most champions go through from life, especially growing up!
I've tried many times to bring up that game changer moments, matter of fact I'm already on something huge that matters to me the most. But this time, I don't really have my own self to go through this... and I'm afraid just like my numerous failed hustles, this is going to be like the end.
Now, I'm left with only one thing and only one thing and that is a sincere prayer to father Satan to help me get through this single thing at least, even though he's totally been away from me when I needed him. Just for his chilling energies, how wouldn't it help me pass through something too important to me?
This seems familiar because sadly, I've been through this as in the past before discovering occult and jos. I've been a jebus simp however I was just too young to figure out, and when I finally got to Satan's den, I considered it a necessity to actually go and grow with it, rather than kneeling to jesus even for little things.
If I were to confess, in past I've been dancing to the atheistic beats of the church of satan, so I can fill in myself to stay on a 'satanic' commitment as either you're still a 'satanist' and be confident in staying on the opposing side with the adversary!
Their is definitely a very addictive and appealing vibe to be a Satanist and somewhere it syncs very well. I hope the rhythm keeps me and all of us going to wherever we find best for us or for all of us, or for all of the world.
For the moment now, let's just hope things finally turn the way I expect at least for once and I'm trying to be confident about all of this.
