Concern with entity/ies...(a bit long)

[Gearshift]

Hello everybody I'm here to discuss a possible interaction with a entity/ies. Pardon the length it's not everything but just trying to inform in case of my concern with myself.

-I have thought it was a figment of my imagination
-I have thought it was an enemy
-I have thought it was either a mental illness or a worsening of my mental illness(unfortunately a few years back I was diagnosed and though I take the lowest strength pills I haven't had any issues with it in years almost begs the question what happened to me.)
-I have thought that perhaps it's a irradiation echo it has been stated in the presence of beings of higher power once they leave there may be continuation of speech due to their energies.
-I have thought perhaps it's some sort of self-tantric effect which I'll discuss below
-There might be other issues but I can't seem to list any of them coming off the top of my head.

First let me state I'm personally in my own opinion nowhere near advanced to any level but a basic normal human level. In fact the amount of times I tried to perform mindfulness(or void as you guys call it), the amount of time I tried to learn trance, and the amount of time I've dealt with meditations on and off over the years is so limited that I feel literally nothing. It's gotten to the point I only meditate and very poorly at that simply because I have nothing better to do. Even then I still feel burnt out and not wanting to meditate. In fact to me meditation feels like I'm just using my imagination and doing something completely in my mind without feeling a damn thing on my mind, body, or soul. I've literally thought the only meditations are worth doing are physical meditation cause stationary position meditations don't do anything. It's just you performing imaginary things that do absolutely nothing. I will readily admit meditation no matter how simple whether it's mindfulness or cleaning or something simple to help your life is not just a burden but a chore. I literally feel grinded to the ground by the way I've been living and meditation doesn't help me in anyway almost makes me feel like a hypocrite being on these forums

FYI for future reference HEARING is the product of me receiving a mental thought voice not actually external ears or anything. In fact it makes me think I'm making these voices up due to some deep loneliness and lack of interaction with life

So like Shael said pardon my fearful and arrogant way of expressing myself. Hell I guess even my disrespectful anti-meditation sourness could be considered something to please pardon me for but it's just the way I feel in my life.

First nearing 16 years ago I dedicated perhaps too soon maybe I should have waited a few months. April 29th 2003, the very next day despite not doing the 4-crowns standard ritual. I performed a request to Satan for a succubus. Many people will probably be like brand new people who dedicated don't get a succubi/incubi you weren't even advanced in any way. Funny enough the only reason why I did it properly is because in the Yahoo forums at a recent time within a week at the date of 2003 someone asked about a proper way to request for one. And the reply was do not ask for any specific. First state a request for a monogamous or in this case and in mine poly-amorous, open relationship free from jealousy of others. Then ask for perfect for you but at the end of the day leave it up to Satan to find the perfect one for you. So simply perfect but let Bossman find the one. In fact funny enough the few succubus request threads that where in the yahoo forums were fraught with problems one guy wanted a 5'5", green eyed succubus and went detailed he got what he wanted but within a week he was noticing she wasn't the best for him. So he asked and they told him pretty much what this thread is. Basically ask Satan to tell the Succubus not to be with you and when you request for one simply state parameters poly, open or monog and then ask him for a perfect one for you but left unto his decision as to who is perfect for you.

Over the years I performed the Succubus request ritual a few times thinking perhaps it didn't work all of them were the same basically requesting in colorful terms my Lilith to my Satan so to speak. But I always said if I have one already don't send another this is just a understanding request. Kinda similar to when people wish to rededicate cause they felt their dedication didn't go right. Funny enough I have thought such things.

First one of the things that I do remember one time back then years ago and again felt in recent times sometime around December is a pineal cavern pressure. In fact it got to the point where I asked a question yes or no and yes for pineal pressure and no was no activity. Then the voice came in, the first time I heard it was ironically enough during my mental health crises years ago but once I left the hospital not only did I completely ignore the voice I never heard it again so I chalked it up to mental illness. Back in recent times a few months back when I heard the voice it's a female voice and states "Hello [My name] how are you?". Funny enough the name thing is weird she not only uses my first name but often as well states my full name. I asked her about it and she stated "Just as you respect us in fact over respect us we respect you that's why I state your full name".

At first I would state who is this and she states my succubus. I would then visualize Satan's sigil and ask him to send my succubus to me. Then she goes see I'm here. I asked her what she is and the voice replies "I'm a Satanic being of higher power, my Lord is Satan". I've never been fancy enough to believe an entities allegiance based on stating a name particularly of Satan I always felt like that is too easy so the entire time I always had hesitation. I told this voice exactly that and she said that is fine. In fact when I mentioned I wish not to hear you at all I feel this is wrong she goes [My First name] that is fine but remember this isn't going away if anything it'll grow.

One of the strangest things though is orgasms. For example if I'm alone I state "I want an orgasm" nothing happens. Once I call this entity she states her normal hello and then I say give me an orgasm. The next thing I know I take a deep breath, my eyes roll to the back of my head, and it gets to the point where I forget how to breathe sometimes with my breath being held for 15-20 seconds without discomfort. The funny part is when I ask for loud orgasms the same happens including vocalization without my control. Finally a few weeks ago I thought what about a mega orgasm for nearly 2 minute straight I was breathing deeply repeatedly, vocalizing, and even laughing uncontrollably shouting stop, stop, stop I can't take it anymore. Even after the event went away it took another good 3 minutes before the almost rubber band like sensation of my body went away and I was back to normal.

All of this sounds like fun and games but again begs the question if it's a byproduct of my craziness due to inconsistency of my mental soundness.

Another question that might be asked is has this entitiy helped you with meditation. She has stated it's not wise at your level to receive anything but she did tell me when performing white-gold and white-gold solar energy breath for aura of protection both normal and solar to hold the breath 3-5 seconds to acclimate the energy.

Now some people ask has this person divulged their name. I asked one time as the question popped in and she states her name is Diana she mentioned she is a red-headed succubus and mentioned she is considered Nordic but not in the stereotypical blonde. In fact funny enough I don't know how spirit sex works but one time I felt someone straddle me while I laid in bed for sleep and I even felt a wetness or had the sensation I was inside something wet. Despite not having a physical erection, she stated "Oh, that isn't me that is my friend Ursula". In fact I actually talked to this second entity and she spoke in a very strained manner and I asked why in the limited capacity that I have hearing her your speaking that way. And she replied cause "I'm riding you, fucking you".

Some people might ask how far have you gone with spirit sex. Funny enough even in the first night years ago I barely if ever fantasized during my time. Funny enough even at my young 12 years old when I would go to sleep the day would just collapse on me. In fact for MANY years I often wondered what the fuck am I doing with my day, is this life for me and for others.

Now funny enough a third entity popped in one time. I heard a male voice funny enough male voices are much harder to figure out than female voices. I asked him who is this and he goes this is Diana's incubus friend and lover of hers from time to time. I ask him his name and I cracked up cause I literally said to myself okay I'm losing it. He called himself Hank, I spent some time talking to this entity and he said "I'm not perfect for you but good enough that Diana wishes for you to express your bisexual nature". I told him I'm not into men and Diana is like you'd think so but you go both ways. Funny enough two sensations come from this entity one he sorta surrounds me so his astral body is around me or at the very least I feel like I'm inside someone and the second thing is despite the fact I feel nothing at all this entity does perform normal male on male activities with me so I do get a odd sensation a slight very slight asking myself why I keep feeling like a virile member is inside of me.

These are the three entities that unfortunately have interacted. At first I thought wonderful but then I said to myself this is getting crazy what has my mind done. So I began to ignore these entities. For example one of the last things Diana mentioned was Ursula and Hank can't stay much or long with you unlike me first they have their lives to live and second of all I'm your succubus so I don't mind spending a lot of time with you. I have told her your not my slave, she says she understands and despite living her own life has plenty of time to interact with me. Though I've had the understanding that she can't sometimes come one time telling me she'll try and be around me in 5 hours of my time cause she wants to exercise and meditate.

Another thing I did many years ago sometime pre-2007 or 2008 a Demon Friend webpage was available on the JoS. Right in the Demon page, so I actually perform the ritual several years ago probably two or three years ago requesting for a Demon friend. Much like the Succubus, I said I want the perfect Demon Friend but left completely to Satan to find such person. Never heard of the entity interacting with me in such manner and I have asked my Succubus and said simply yes I do have one cause you asked for one.

There is more to this story but it'll be really long.

Is this normal? or am I defined by the JoS as someone either mentally ill or perhaps being manipulated by entities that mean harm?

It reminds me of the W, P, & P ritual I performed the prayer and called out to Satan for the runic vibration and affirmation portions. And behind me floating in the air was a sensation of a REALLY tall person with these black shamanic clothing and whitish boots. And a short entity with burning eyes looking at me standing next to my desk. I know gargoyle entities work with the Gods didn't feel like a Grey even though I thought "Shit is this a Grey". After completing the ritual they left, they felt like normal background radiation nothing negative or anything just a neutral sensation like this is perfectly normal keep going and do the ritual.

So basically is this normal or should I just completely ignore these things? Is this a byproduct of my loneliness and living a lackluster life with pretty much non-existent socializing outside of my immediate family.

Also for the people who may have a succubus or incubus do they seem like a hindrance to real life relationships perhaps the whole energy exchange where a slight amount of energy is drained as a byproduct of their activities hurts your love/sexual prowess with women or men in the case of others or do they help in acquiring real life relationships. I will readily admit the game of love has not been kind to me ever growing up and the more I grow older the more I isolate myself and find myself dumbfounded at various lack of life and living it up.

I literally feel like not only have I given up on life but life gave up on me. Perhaps MANY years ago, perhaps even at young age where such negativity imprinted in me. Much like how my father would get annoyed at me saying "I hate school" or I hate this or however I reacted that made my parents worry that I'm kinda shutting the door on myself and affecting myself in the future. Perhaps all my "I hate school" growing up led a pattern of ignoring higher education which is something I wish I did consider over the years. I basically left the school system seeking a break from all the non-sense that went by. I mean I was in no way shape or form even thinking about my future nor anything even at a young age. It's like my parents mentioned to visit a psychologist cause a person who states "I'm the same person I was when I was 7 years old just with more information" is not according to them very positive in the head sounds more to them like something happened to me and I need help.

 

[Taol]

So first of all.. what exactly are you asking about here?

I didn't want to read it at first because 1) Long ass post and 2) sounded like you'd went on (whining) about your problems.

A summary of the post basicly is like this:
- You dedicated but didn't meditate (properly)
- asked for a succubus multiple times
- possibly mental illness with using of prescribed drugs
- ???
- Childhood 'hate school'

For the first one.. have you even tried mantras? Just relax. You know when you make a sound like ahh or oooh or uuu you can feel your body vibrating, I think that they mean that you should try to focus that vibration on a certain part of your body (as in the chakra meditation).
As for the 'static poses' I am sure you meant yoga.. No I didn't feel much either the first time I went through the motions. It took me a couple of days/weeks plus increasing the time I was in each pose.

No matter how low the dose those kinds of drugs do alter and change the mechanisms in your brain, sealing you off too. As psychiatric drugs are often based on psychedelics (ritalin in example).

Don't oversweat it that you were like that as a child. School is stupid, school is boring and I bet about every child in the western world thinks that. But, you know, as a child you don't have that perspective.
After some time being idle you get bored, simply. And then you start to learn about the true world around you a little better and you understand this.

We all come from some point and yes we have to go through shit from the past that gets brought up from the meditation but we all want to work hard and do better moving forward.
And this is what is the most important.
Heritage is important, but aside from this, it doesn't matter that much as what happened in the past (In other words, dont dwell on the past 24/7 and make it your future - aside from the flare-up sometimes which gets out through meditation, but that aside), what matters is that you learned from it, grew stronger, became a better person and move towards a brighter future.
Past things may 'shape' in some sort of way, that is undeniable, but with proper meditation and moving forward, I am sure all the problems that you've been through can be solved or at least worked out enough that they do not manifest in the future ever again. Which, yes, means, redefining things, opinions and such themselves.

I know that sometimes when people read what I say it sounds a lot like I am constantly contradicting myself, and I may go for the easiest said statements a lot, but they only tell one side of the story.. thats why the last alinea was so extensive.. I don't want to get across saying the wrong things..
Or sound like Im double talking on purpose..

Don't forget psychology talk is (mostly) bullocks. (Ey! I remembered that word .. maybe misspelled that though)

 

[mlimlal666]

Hi Gear,

You should have been working on freeing yourself from day one. Some people still remain the same, stuck with so little changes, is due not putting so much efforts and time to achieve something big. With drastic changes requires effort and time, this goes for spiritual and everything general in life. As for what your parents believe, you are in charge of that, you are what you want to be and this is up to you.
If you continue to dwell all this negative and just sit there continue to waste more years of your life in vain for nothing you will never grow. Do Ritual rituals, clean your aura daily, several times and use ball (gold energy) Hps Pythia wrote many times about this. IT does work. You can ask Gods to help you.
If you lack motivation, find a way to motivate yourself, this all means you 'll have to get work harder
Runes can help you, do daily positive affirmations. When the moon is right do banish ritual around your place, and start focus on yourself first.
Take care

 

[darkmonkey666]

Your sane. You probably have some gifts that people misunderstood and labeled you as. There is a difference between psychic getting harrassed and labeled and actual mental health things. In your case pills would actually do more harm than good. I think its been stated not to talk about Gods sex lives on here or with anyone else. I am not sure if you took it too far as this got posted so just remember that.

Anyways the thing is you need to start out slow with meditation the basics. Why not start the 40 day program. It seems like you are a pluto Saturn type of person. I dont know if I am right but you might get in patterns of thinking and obsess over it be hard to change them. You might also have too much earth and find it hard to get out of a routine. If you were advanced enough id say invoke fire but hell no not at your level lol. Maybe use the mantra for the sun square a few times each day if you dont want to do the square for 40 days or do the square. Empower your solar chakra you can use the sol rune or aum Rah took. The solar chakra if I am not wrong rules motivation. Do the final Ritual too it helps get rid of curses. If you have free time. You CAN do it so meditate. Not to mention enjoy life and put thoughts of worry and doubt behind you be brave.

Maybe try a couple fire mantras on you but dont overdo it. Fire is passion motivation.

 

[darkmonkey666]

Oh and I dont know much on the succubus thing so I didnt say much on that. I wanted a physical partner for now and never thought of it but in the end I may end up going that direction I dont know.
Oh and you are at the beginning stages of being open maybe a little more than me. Your not losing it mentally. Good luck.

 

[Fuchs]

Do you feel drained after the spirit sex ? Do you use the orgasmic energy to advance ? (empowering chakras etc)

 

[Gearshift]

Do you feel drained after the spirit sex ? Do you use the orgasmic energy to advance ? (empowering chakras etc)

That is the thing I don't know. Truly have no idea what is going on by anything but my physical reality.

The only thing I can state is even till just a few months back when I would sleep 12-15 hours day. I often would wake up more tired than the previous day. In fact I remember a while back I stayed awake till 7:30 Am eating my breakfast and despite slight mental and physical fatigue it was way better than when I slept through the night. Recently I've been waking up earlier and not having issues as much as I would state with being too tired almost like sleeping less helped.

I do remember one time my succubus told me she can't spend the night with me and was busy so I said okay. The room felt eerily quite I woke up great. Is it possible that when she is with me she does things, maybe. It has been said these incubi/succubi beings do come at night and interact with you. Which I find funny because if the soul is tied to the body. Then don't I need an erection to interact with them? Isn't it a requirement for my soul to interact with hers?

As for orgasmic energy such as for example masturbating I try my best but no I don't know what to do. Honestly even reading the amount of years of information I read on other members including the JoS circulating the energy. Doesn't really help me out in any way. Have I tried my best to do some thing with it. Sure but it just feels very mentally annoying and fatiguing. I simply want to get off I don't want to think about spiritual stuff or anything dealing with my soul or dealing with a spell. I've pretty much gotten to the point where the only thing I do is visualize Satan's Grail sigil in electric blue and light it up in white-gold and tell him to take it. I even visualize him to the best of my ability grabbing the energy in the air in front of him. Sorta like Thanks for the energy.

But other than that I really don't feel like I deeply and intuitively understand empowerment of my own self or coming up with a affirmation just in time due to the energy. Like I said I simply want to get off if my energy goes somewhere well then it goes somewhere. I don't know.

 

[Gearshift]

...

Yes of course I read the front page. I've been at this game nearing 16 years now.

From reading the page. Mediators is meant in a physical concept. If it where spiritual they'd put that as well. I mean your basically making it sound like Satan is an omni-giga-super-being that does not need information relayed to him. Almost makes it sound like since he knows don't worry. If he knew why would people pray(telepathic) messages to inform him of something. Like for example say there is a crazed person who may cause harm and someone prays to Satan. Are you Rook implying that he knows of that already and doesn't need information and even if he knew it may or may not happen where the person creates an issue. After all the Earth isn't under our sides control. The surface world is very much a battleground.

...

First T.A.O.L. the incident with arena and my manipura chakra happened sometime around when I was 4 or 5. To my knowledge it wasn't negative just a metallic warble feel. And basically going crazy feeling peoples energies.

No I hate music. In fact I pretty much listen to the same bands just some songs. I don't even bother listening to entire albums just a few songs that I seem to may like. But deep down inside I really hate music. Sometimes I may put on the radio and listen to classic rock but most of the time I drive without any music at all. Just mindful of my driving. Classical music forget about it the few times I had to listen to it, it just either makes me sad and depressed or for the most part it just pisses me off. Overall I find classical music just very anger inducing.

Last year I did Lydia's 88 Vynn vibration on a specific date some Pisces date, the affirmation felt a bit weird lacking eternal but non-the less at least I stuck through for 40 days was gonna do 90 but the 88 vibrations got to me in spending nearing 20 minutes. Also found it a bit strange she mentioned "ways" rather than "way" but I guess she was just being mindful of other paths that can help direct the energy.

I have been doing Munka since January 6th, I failed to do it once or twice so on the 26th I'll stop and carry on the 27th Moon in Aquarius freeing the soul. And hopefully stick with it forever it literally takes 10 minutes for the 63 vibrations; or 9 into the chakras per centerline chakra as per Lydia's munka working. I kinda prefer it cause someone mentioned all this karma comes out and everyday something negative pops up. I guess I'd rather do a brute force release rather than a shallow dive of 108 munka in general to the whole body.

While I have done a few physical exercises like pushups and whatnot helped at least gain enough strength for headstand. Honestly I hate exercising even as a kid I neglected my body. I have read exercise is good for my Neptunian position and aspect. The only form of exercise I do is walking around my house each day I spend anywhere from as little as combined two hours to as much as combined 6 hours walking around either in my house or just walking around back and forth in my room.

Honestly I have nothing that appeals to me most. When I was a kid I did go to an art school or at least a trial period. And looking back then it's like "What artistic talent". I mean what I barely can draw and write kinda like the joke my teachers would say often "Chicken scratch handwriting". The only thing that appeals to me most being honest is sex. And considering how I live and don't go out or anything it's like "What sex".

It's like my time reading up on the JoS back all those 16 years ago. I actually came because of the sex. At first interest in lucid dreaming and astral projection as well as other spiritual things. But honestly once I read the succubus/incubus page it really spoke to me. So I joined up simply for sex. Funny enough in Yahoo and ProPhP I pretty much ran into at least one other person stating the same thing. They pretty much just came for the sex. In fact it happened another time with someone else though I can't remember exactly how many people said the same thing perhaps less than 5.

One last thing T.A.O.L. you state those things as spiritual experiences but to me it's not even anything special. When I began to read this website the expectation was that if your doing it right don't be surprised if things happen. Now how can I feel something if nothing is felt. For example yes I had the third eye pressure. Or sensation on my forehead but it's nothing special. It's like for example only in recent times can I feel the vibration in say the center of my brain. But nothing activates or anything. I simply do the vibration, program the energy, and will the energy in. I know it takes time but I will admit I do have a Saturn aspect that makes me think why I'm wasting my time when there are more important things to do. It's a very clockwork aspect that can be deemed negative as you feel like time is slipping by and you grow more depressed thinking what can be done better with my time.

 

[Gearshift]

I think you have much knowlege, but lack the practice. if you would have meditated 20% of the time you used to write in the forums, you would´t need to write 80% of the stuff you write/ask.

It's funny I pretty much ran into both of VoiceofEnki's post before anyone posted anything back when she posted. I said interesting. But...

1. Later on like someone doubted that it came from Astarte saying how much is this from a being of higher power and how much is this from homebrewing. During the second thread she posted making improvements to it. Kinda reminds me of the whole Vovim Baughie situation creating Astarte's Elemental Aura of Protection. That he stated came from Astarte.

and

2. Quite a few people stated they spent too long with this meditation.

I'm not trying to doubt in fact I too used VoiceofEnki's and Lydia's affirmation the whole "I am at all times physically, mentally, and spiritually...etc.etc." and it was okay perhaps it helped perhaps not who knows. Lydia praised it for being a damn good affirmation. Did I modify it several times in fact I put it through three or four revisions before sticking to one I liked.

Alright Fuchs 20%, lack of practice. Yeah your absolutely right.

But here's the thing do you know how long I would spend hours thinking about meditations over the years. For all intents and purposes I could make myself sound like those Yogis and Rishis in India farting out new meditations with absolutely no concrete occult science behind it. For example I respect heavily no matter how corrupted they may be people who meditate especially people who do mindfulness and can tame the monkey mind. I respect those without who can astral/etheric project like one person on the Spanish(Enki) forums mentioning his pre-Satanic days reaching the area of beings of higher power and raising his sword at Astarte because she said she is a demon.

Madame17's post. https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=17679&p=74935#p74935. Could there be doubt in being a fake story just one post and whatnot in perfect Spanish. Sure but I felt compelled to reply wondering about astral projection despite encountering websites on Astral/Etheric projection what almost two decades ago 17-18-19 years ago. Kinda reminds me of a person that found the JoyofSatan because he astral projected encountered a Demoness and she told him to be open minded. After diving back down and researching he dedicated.

For example my favorite meditation which I always state should only be done perhaps MUCH later on. Is MerKaBa it literally takes about two minutes to perform it. When I first performed MerKaBa sometime in 2004 at 14, it drove me crazy. For example I had mental health incident from it on two separate occasions combined with spinning my chakras to the speed of light.

To this day I have no idea what MerKaBa and Advanced Chakra spinning did to me. In fact back then I did MerKaBa only for a few days before dropping and stopping the freak out I was occurring. I returned to MerKaBa YEARS later and even never bothered to affirm the energy. In fact the only reason why I'm on these forums today is because about two nearing 3 years ago I got sick and tired of not advancing and pretty much stuck to MerKaBa and chakra spinning to the speed of light. Did I do Rituals from time to time I mean yes I did hell I remember doing the final Curse/Bless Israel Ritual with runic vibrations of Isa and Hagl towards Israel, the very last time HP Zevios Metathronos even told us to perform Ritual and runic blasts against them nearing 2016 give or take probably sometime in nearing late 2015.

It's funny MerKaBa everyone who's posted on it states it's a badass meditation. From former ProPHP, Yahoo, and Current A-Forums. And yet I never felt a damn thing.

Again it begs the question if simply closing your eyes performing the meditation does anything. I'm still in beta with light natural alpha state emission with eyes closed. But apparently not even the mighty MerKaBa can make me feel anything. Or if I'm simply playing in my own little world called imagination.

It's funny Fuchs you mention the 20-to-40 minute time period of protection. Lydia has mentioned about an hour of auras or protection for her. Well here is the thing at least from what I know we should spend roughly 40 days building this protection perhaps not 80 but 90, ten more days. After that it is permanently imbued in the soul.

Okay your done imbuing 40 maybe 90 days passed. And THEN what? It's the same thing with the 40 day guide or the 6 month guide. You do it and THEN WHAT?. For example some people pop in state they opened themselves up to the astral and interact with demons and they are helped kinda begs the question if they are. I remember a person on Abovetopsecrets(ATS) stating they did a similar meditation to the JoS one the Toe vibration they vibrate Toe on the third eye.

Funny enough he said by the third or fourth day he opened himself up to spiritual world so much. That upon going to his bed he noticed a tail on the bed. He touched it and out popped sparks and electricity on top of seeing other astral creatures. He freaked out and was like how do I turn this off. Funny thing is he reiterated what one astral projector on Reddit said don't mess with this stuff it's not meant for humans.

Again it all goes back to the factor that humans are woefully en masse unprepared for this stuff. I can already see if true that the Gods returning with a big ass headache. It's already been said by them some humans are so closed off spiritually the Gods can't help them not even if they use their most advanced spiritual practices on them like laying them on the Pyramid and pumping Orion energy into their Pineal gland and making them explode in spiritual Ecstasy. In fact aside from people delving too far into enemy stuff and people not feeding their souls. It gets to the point of why do the Gods even bother with this solar system. Back then about 200,000 years ago according to Aldric Strickland's assessment video 3 life giving planets Earth, Mars, and Phaeton wonderful not even a stone throws away from each other. But now this solar system has been shat on so viciously it begs the question why bother.

The fact that Pythia stated the Gods require perhaps a year to ten years to inform everyone and on top of that 150-200 years to stabilize the environment. And on top of that perhaps in my personal assessment another few centuries to clear the world. It really begs the question how much time are the Gods gonna spend helping this colloquially termed in sci-fi stories and movies "Backwoods planet".

lmao do show where i'm trying to state that or did you dream this?
from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

and for some guy who states he has a lot of problems you sure got a lot of time to write these novels, perhaps you should be working on those problems, no?
after all, they're your problems not mines lol.

anyway, you're a waste of time for me, and my time has value so i'll just put it elsewhere, write me another novel, i could care less .

Oh why thank you Rook for the message really appreciate never knew talking about issues was such an issue.

So someone who never talked about their problems even being told by people to talk about their problem and go to a psychologist or group therapy or find some friends or something. Is wrong?

That perhaps it's wrong. That's a problem a crime. So now when I do need help that I should just do like what I've been doing for the past 23-25 years swallow the problem down and move on and continue the repression, suppression, and depression. And just simply not bother anyone because no one is gonna help you, you can't help yourself, and on top of that your just a burden on everyone's lives.

Okay Rook like Hank Hill said "No YOU DA man". Thank you very much.

 

[Gearshift]

Okay guys. Thank you! for the positive feed back.

I guess in the end I was right all along that perhaps all those 16 years ago I should have never done this entire dedication or anything. I guess in the end it just created problems. Same thing with my friend I was concerned about telling him I've emailed him over the years 4 times that I feel responsible for his life not going well due to the dedication. He always states I never did wrong just simply shit happens.

For those of you who wish for me to fix my problems. I never wanted to fix my problems because I never knew what problems I had. I never knew being a person with problems who never bothered another person even when I have spoken limited times about my problems it's always very hidden and limited to express myself. I usually get into the situation where I tell the person "See this is why I don't speak to anyone nor bother anyone with my problems".

The path that I choose is not to have problems. I don't understand why I would want problems never even as kid did I ever intend to want nor desire problems. So how is that I have problems.

Your absolutely right Ol Argedco Luciftan I never wanted to fix my problems. Because like I said what problems. If I do have problems a million problems come out. It's why I got interested in meditation and magic perhaps it could solve something.

You guys state the bad guy, the loser, the anchor. I state no idea what you mean.

This precisely why I never even bothered joining the forums ever. Even in the old ProPhP forums it was only 8 months before closure that I felt like joining and even then after deliberating for two weeks I didn't even bother. Every time I post something problem it's like sure I might not have practical experience but logically I can assume things or understand information I've stored in my mind. I guess I just learned the lesson that people do not want my information. That at least someone who can help others but not help themselves is a crime.

So again Thanks guys.

 

[High Priest Zevios Metathronos]

People don't want to hear 80 pages long spiels and incoherence, really evil of them, and of course, it's their fault you can't put your brain within context.

Nobody has to pay for the sins of your own eternal mind looping, and people do not have to sucker in your weaknesses and doubts disguised as "Questions" which last literally eternally, and repeat themselves in endless logical loops, which you have no desire to even fix. This is called being a blockhead. Being a blockhead harms you but it doesn't have to harm others, nor they have to like it.

People tried to help you, but you do not help yourself.

Lastly, for our own 'questions' and our own 'comments' that have no end, there is a thing called a diary. This is a forum for conversation, not a diary. You can write your personal issues that are unsolvable or eternal loops in said diary if you need to express them. Normally, these fry people who do not think in said loops and the reactions on this thread are totally normal and to be expected.

 

[Brdredr]

People don't want to hear 80 pages long spiels and incoherence, really evil of them, and of course, it's their fault you can't put your brain within context.

Nobody has to pay for the sins of your own eternal mind looping, and people do not have to sucker in your weaknesses and doubts disguised as "Questions" which last literally eternally, and repeat themselves in endless logical loops, which you have no desire to even fix. This is called being a blockhead. Being a blockhead harms you but it doesn't have to harm others, nor they have to like it.

>This is called being a blockhead.

Do I get to call him "Charlie Brown" now?

 

[Rook]

from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

lmao :lol:

 

[Gearshift]

People don't want to hear 80 pages long spiels and incoherence, really evil of them, and of course, it's their fault you can't put your brain within context.

Nobody has to pay for the sins of your own eternal mind looping, and people do not have to sucker in your weaknesses and doubts disguised as "Questions" which last literally eternally, and repeat themselves in endless logical loops, which you have no desire to even fix. This is called being a blockhead. Being a blockhead harms you but it doesn't have to harm others, nor they have to like it.

People tried to help you, but you do not help yourself.

Lastly, for our own 'questions' and our own 'comments' that have no end, there is a thing called a diary. This is a forum for conversation, not a diary. You can write your personal issues that are unsolvable or eternal loops in said diary if you need to express them. Normally, these fry people who do not think in said loops and the reactions on this thread are totally normal and to be expected.

No idea why the word blockhead would be used towards me usually it sounds like an association some sort of stereotypical jock mentality someone who doesn't use their brain a lot, in fact the definition of it is simply a stupid person. This is how I am normally I mean if you think what I wrote is some spiel you should see some of the emails me and my friend would type up. We pretty much would clock in at about 30-to-an hour to type it up and to read it I mean pretty much at least 10 minutes reading just a quarter of it, I mean some emails would take like 20 minutes just to read. And 30-to-an Hour combined with research and copy pasting website information and teaching things to my friend. In some cases I'd take an extra hour on top of that. And that is multiple emails a day sometimes 4 or 5 long ones per day going back and forth.

No idea how or why it can fry a person. Kinda strange I guess a lot people here aren't exposed to the internet; strange begs the question how they even found the JoS and don't perform in-depth questioning like I do. You should see some of the posts I would put on tech sites dealing anywhere from mechanical keyboards, solid state drives, CRT vs LCD and just nearly in recent times high refresh rate LCDs, as well as mice and mousepads. Kinda funny you should see some of the research and information I cross-forum-posted about mice DPI and mice technologies and as well as Mousepads.

Anyways, before changing your message turning into ganged mentality of "Let me throw my gasoline in the fire". You changed your post.

Overthinking the Succubus thing. In your previous iteration of your forum post before you changed or deleted your prior response

About a month ago I visualized Satan's sigil asked him to send my succubus in case it's an enemy. Well I heard the same hello and whatnot and then after chatting a bit to the best of my capacity. I felt something touch my heart. I said so I guess this is what you did back in 2012. She replied Yes you remember. I told her so you can kill me. She replies If it were that easy we'd just kill anyone who was against us it doesn't work that way even the enemy knows this. I then started feeling happy I asked her if she is causing that she said Yes. So I said can you make me happier then I felt myself become happier even feeling like my heart was expanding and on top of that I smiled which is strange cause I don't smile much it happened against my will.

So if I'm overthinking it why was I told either mental illness, enemy, or natural openness. How can I alone cause some sort of spiritual orgasm to occur from me when only I contact this entity does it. I'm not some self-tantra master that can generate an orgasm out of pure mental will and spiritual prowess.

How then do you explain this entity. I've even visualize electric blue flames and vibrated Vinasa at least 9 times, in one case I did it much more then vibrated the name backwards (Diana)/(Anaid), then You are no more. The voice replies she I'm still here.

In fact at one point in time I simply decided to find my old folder and perform the original banishing ritual found on the JoS before the 2008-2009 redux. I pulled out the sigils of Flauros and Orobas, performed the 4-crowns Standard in my own limited way, then burnt a paper requesting a banishing at my house with the old banish ritual demons. Still nothing she just said See nothing they are around. I said are they mad at me for doing the old ritual. Then I heard hmm no.

So then what is this?

Only reason I posted this was because of Catacalin94 thread dealing with his own entity or possible mind problems.

I always said to myself never post on the forums it's completely stupid eventually you'll find your answer. The underlying problem is it rarely if ever happened and even then out pop more questions. So I guess the moral of the story is posting on the forums is something a blockhead, like you said, posts because they have questions and questions are wrong. Or in my case convoluted because it's wrong to explain myself better.

 

[High Priestess Lydia Coventina]

from the looks of it, the rest of your little sob story novel here is filled with BS and honestly i couldn't be assed to read it, it's ironic that you couldn't read a short sermon on how to fix ur shit, but you sure can write a lot for others to read,

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

lmao :lol:

I was thinking the exact same thing Rook wrote, and also got a laugh at Ol argedco luciftias's reply :lol:

This guy Gear is on heavy medication did he say? For schizophrenia? And hates music and exercise... I only skimmed a few posts. Gear, you need to do daily affirmations to change your mindset, life is meant to be enjoyed, or at least have something enjoyable in it. A person who dislikes music is an empty shell of a person. It's going to take you a while, so less essays and more meditation.

 

[Ài Gōng]

IMO he doesn't sound like a delusional person (at least he had enough enough self-awareness to question it), he just seem like a super anxious overreactive person who needs to chill out.

You aren't missing much it's really disgusting. An extremely manic, broken, confused, insane mess of screaming with a lot of "ARE YOU, ROOK, SAYING THAT I'M TOO FUCKED UP TO BE HERE AND I SHOULD LEAVE? ARE YOU SAYING GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT YOU ARE TOO INSANE AND BROKEN TO BE HERE? WELL LOOK HERE, ROOK, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW INSANE AND FUCKED UP I AM DOES THIS MEAN, ROOK, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE, ROOK?"

lmao :lol:

I was thinking the exact same thing Rook wrote, and also got a laugh at Ol argedco luciftias's reply :lol:

This guy Gear is on heavy medication did he say? For schizophrenia? And hates music and exercise... I only skimmed a few posts. Gear, you need to do daily affirmations to change your mindset, life is meant to be enjoyed, or at least have something enjoyable in it. A person who dislikes music is an empty shell of a person. It's going to take you a while, so less essays and more meditation.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

only if you raise your kundalini in this lifetime you will take your memories to the next life, without all your reading was in vain.

This isn't really true. I've never raised my kundalini before but I still have very clear memories from my "past lives". Especially the one right before this one, I remember the whole continuation from that lifetime, through when I died and what it felt like, through when I was in Duat for a while, and talking with the gods in planning this next (now current) lifetime, then my soul being sent here back to earth in this body. When I was a young child I didn't remember but the memories all came back as I grew up. I remembered all this vividly during my childhood before I learned anything about Satanism. So he can still remember a lot of things from now in the next generation. And if he doesn't directly remember, it would still be much easier to learn next time when he already learned it before.

 

[High Priestess Lydia Coventina]

@Gear- I made the briefest of comments, and you replied with a long essay again. I've noticed you doing this quite a lot, thinking something is more than what it actually is. Your focus is off/askew, or perhaps your elemental balance (no air perhaps, or too much earth?).

It's like you can't just observe and take only what matters. I only skimmed your reply, as there is no need to get too deep into anything here. I'm trying to give constructive criticism so you can fix this.

I did not make a "medication joke", I was mentioning it as people on medications for mental illness tend to get a bit "empty shell" and have no passions (dislike of music and exercise, etc). This is a fact, which is why I mentioned what I did. I did not realize I had to thoroughly explain it to you though, and I'm surprised you thought it was some sort of "joke"....

I won't be checking back as I don't have much time for the forums.

 

[Gearshift]

@Gear- I made the briefest of comments, and you replied with a long essay again. I've noticed you doing this quite a lot, thinking something is more than what it actually is. Your focus is off/askew, or perhaps your elemental balance (no air perhaps, or too much earth?).

It's like you can't just observe and take only what matters. I only skimmed your reply, as there is no need to get too deep into anything here. I'm trying to give constructive criticism so you can fix this.

I did not make a "medication joke", I was mentioning it as people on medications for mental illness tend to get a bit "empty shell" and have no passions (dislike of music and exercise, etc). This is a fact, which is why I mentioned what I did. I did not realize I had to thoroughly explain it to you though, and I'm surprised you thought it was some sort of "joke"....

I won't be checking back as I don't have much time for the forums.

Hmm without stating anything on my astrological chart I mentioned to Darkmoney666 my elemental percentage.

(Not sure how much I should trust this site with elemental percentage but it sounds okay)

@ Darkmonkey666 I don't think Fire mantras are a good idea though not to disrespect. Funny enough my fire is my dominant element. Without revealing specific information these are my elements: Fire: 31.9%, Water: 25.6%, Earth: 24.8%, and Air: 17.7% according to the elemental calculator this is what my chart is made up of. A while back I did do some Akausha(Akashic) vibrations the affirmation was a bit long but if I had to come up with one it would be All of my elements are completely and eternally balanced and empowered in the most happiest, beneficial, and best way for me. That way the elements are both balanced and on top of that empowered. Not sure if past tense can be added to affirmations perhaps balancing and empowering would be most appropriate in present tense.

I'm sure some might state to keep it at "balanced or balancing" don't focus the affirmation on empowering as well.

Could have added healthiest I guess Argedco might state do it cause the elements have their prominent nature with the soundness of mind, body, and soul in question when interacting with your body. Happiest, beneficial, and best may stem the tide a bit but healthiest would make it work more softly on your self ensuring a healthy effect.

Funny enough I do remember years ago breathing in 7 breaths of the elements and holding them writing down in a paper. Did in particular one time Air and I was driving like a maniac don't worry no accident. So I'd really not like to repeat anything with the elements. In fact I felt fired up rather than nervous or anything. I guess the nervous effect produced a fire like response in me. And yes if your wondering I didn't use affirmations so bad of me in making the energy delve negatively.

If akasha helps I'd be nice to know how many breaths I should do besides baseline 11 at Akasha page? And on top of that if I should vibrate Akasha or Akausha vibrations to further pump the akashic energy?

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I recommend Akasha or Akashaum. It turns into whatever element is needed so it fills you with all 5 of the elements in a healthy balanced safe way. Start with 11 then wait 24 hours then you can do a bigger number. Working with elements can be harder because there's a big chance you won't feel it when you're doing the mantras for them, and then every bit you did all hits you all at once hours later. But with Akasha it's not really uncomfortable like the other elements could easily be.

 

[Gearshift]

I recommend Akasha or Akashaum. It turns into whatever element is needed so it fills you with all 5 of the elements in a healthy balanced safe way. Start with 11 then wait 24 hours then you can do a bigger number. Working with elements can be harder because there's a big chance you won't feel it when you're doing the mantras for them, and then every bit you did all hits you all at once hours later. But with Akasha it's not really uncomfortable like the other elements could easily be.

Akashaum? that is a new one to me. I thought it was simply Akasha or Akausha. I suppose you did some research of Frawley's work, correct?

Mind describing what the end aum does in this case? Surely it's not as simple as stating Ether(Akash)/Gold in the works(Au)/Binding point the soul(M). If I'm not mistaken on my definition of Sanskrit properties.

BTW Argedco and others I'll restart my meditations, Ritual, and protection on the 18th luckily the Esbat is Vocless and on top of that the final waxing date before Pink Moon. So hopefully the returning curses gets a boost like it states best on waxing moon phases.

I may consider retrying the 40-day guide chakra section some other time I hate to ignore the Chakras but at least SOME meditation is being done by me. I'll focus on Cleaning/Protection/Void/Spin/Yogic/Alternate Nostril/Hatha/K-yoga and stick to some Akashic from you guys.

Finally one last subject Argedco is it okay to pump a affirmation on these akashic vibrations or is akasha a self-directing affirmationless energy. I guess to simplify it does it stick to the soul and work on it's own without help.

1. I ask because you mention balancing effect but wouldn't an affirmation help as well? And if so just to be clear in past tense balanced or present tense balancing?

2. Would you care to rapport if adding healthiest to the affirmation dealing with Akasha would be best? or my affirmation below is fine?

(All of my elements are completely and eternally balanced/balancing and empowered/empowering in the most happiest, beneficial, and best way for me. Healthiest? Yay or nay?)

3. And my last question is should I try adding empowered/empowering to the affirmation? Or should it be stricken and simply left to balance?

I suppose it couldn't hurt to fortify but I can see why it would be bad to a degree.