Beyond hurt

8Emily8Oct 4, 20203 min to read

Oct 4, 2020

I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

Oct 11, 2020#60

NinRicksaid:
1) It should be very clear (if what you said were true) that the enemy attacks you hardcore, not the gods.
2) Satan would help you if you were an Zevism and approached him. No doubt about that.
3) You certainly talk a lot, for someone who was not active on those forums before. You came out of the blue... yet you claim you were here for a very long time.

Well we can't say she hasn't been on the old forums either brother.

Also about Satan giving you help, that
is correct, but if you didn't approach him because of constant enemy attack would you do it? No. You would be apprehensive.

Actually she didn't really ask that much sympathy. Honestly what I felt from my intuition. She just needed some help.

That is incorrect. Vovim Baghe I think was back then with the ToZ but later derailed. So that argument can't be put there. It depends on the individual.

I don't remember her per se saying she left Satan. Maybe I skimmed past it. Regardless, l do remember her saying she would rather die since *Satan*(Enemy Grey's) forsake her and she felt down.

I cannot not say about this much, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. If she is a Zevist, she's working on herself as she said. However if she is indeed an infiltrator, well that will come to light. What is required is patience. Let things play out.

Private Email

[ email redacted ]

https://templeofzeus.org/templeofzeus.org

NinRicksaid:
1) It should be very clear (if what you said were true) that the enemy attacks you hardcore, not the gods.
2) Satan would help you if you were an Zevism and approached him. No doubt about that.
3) You certainly talk a lot, for someone who was not active on those forums before. You came out of the blue... yet you claim you were here for a very long time.

Well we can't say she hasn't been on the old forums either brother.

Also about Satan giving you help, that
is correct, but if you didn't approach him because of constant enemy attack would you do it? No. You would be apprehensive.

Actually she didn't really ask that much sympathy. Honestly what I felt from my intuition. She just needed some help.

That is incorrect. Vovim Baghe I think was back then with the ToZ but later derailed. So that argument can't be put there. It depends on the individual.

I don't remember her per se saying she left Satan. Maybe I skimmed past it. Regardless, l do remember her saying she would rather die since *Satan*(Enemy Grey's) forsake her and she felt down.

Oct 12, 2020#61

Dahaarkansaid:
My intuition tells me this is a troll account created to give the impression that the old gods are aggressive, unforgiving and cruel, and to plant insecurities in new members. The creation of the account just to start a thread on this specific topic makes it beyond obvious to me.
The gods do not waste their time harassing random people, this does not happen. Nothing about this person's story makes any sense and never in all my years as a Zevist have I experienced or heard of someone who experienced such things. It's just blatant made up bullshit in the form of a sob story to try to gain sympathy and approval. To get this poison across and try to scare new people off this path.
Satan does not abandon Zevists this also does not happen, and has never happened outside of cases of treason. People may become distant or disorganized, but the dedication is forever, and it goes both ways. People fail and fall repeatedly on the path of self betterment and nobody is punished or abandoned for making mistakes.

My intuition tells me the same its a bullock story i,m 6 years Zevist and i have newer experience this before the gods where always
friendly and helpful.

Dahaarkansaid:
My intuition tells me this is a troll account created to give the impression that the old gods are aggressive, unforgiving and cruel, and to plant insecurities in new members. The creation of the account just to start a thread on this specific topic makes it beyond obvious to me.
The gods do not waste their time harassing random people, this does not happen. Nothing about this person's story makes any sense and never in all my years as a Zevist have I experienced or heard of someone who experienced such things. It's just blatant made up bullshit in the form of a sob story to try to gain sympathy and approval. To get this poison across and try to scare new people off this path.
Satan does not abandon Zevists this also does not happen, and has never happened outside of cases of treason. People may become distant or disorganized, but the dedication is forever, and it goes both ways. People fail and fall repeatedly on the path of self betterment and nobody is punished or abandoned for making mistakes.

My intuition tells me the same its a bullock story i,m 6 years Zevist and i have newer experience this before the gods where always
friendly and helpful.

Oct 12, 2020#62

Ramier108666said:
NinRicksaid:
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It's entirely possible such fears and doubts can take hold of you, and it's even worse when you're psychically inclined and then those fears and doubts actually astrally manifest before you in sight, sound, telepathy, feeling, touch, energy, everything and making you even further believe them even though you're creating them yourself.

People too strong in emotion can have these issues and lack of control over them because emotions are a powerful reflectant of inclination to the psychic chakras, thus psychic matters. Which is why I'm not surprised at the OPs emotion-based outbursts in their self-defense here even though I warned them not to reply to anything further because others aren't going to understand it as such and just see it as somehow further 'proof' for their opinions. Doesn't mean they're a troll, if anything it's just a further association to what I stated their issue to be which is their fears and such regarding the gods being a psychic delusion over lack of psychic control and grounding.

Too little control over emotions also signs as too little control over psychic manifestations because they both tie in energy and tunings. The OP just needs to learn how to tune out of this and centre themselves a bit more logically for a more controlled balance.