being honst with me and you

[Brian]

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[strengththroughsatan89]

Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Matt Kresel Kresel]

...well, I always figured that if I got with a girl I didn't want to be with (forever) that when it was over, I would perform a spell/ritual that would cease our relationship. Like "you love me no more" or something around those lines, end all the attraction.
However, in your case, it'd be a win-lose situation because, as you seem to have put it, this girl seems kinda dependent.
Though, since your having an open marriage, then perhaps while you work a spell that ceases her attraction/love for you, at the same time you can find a man that does love her the way you meant too.
If you love her as a friend, then maybe that's the best route to go. And hell, perhaps you can perform a spell/ritual to attract such a man that'd be perfect for her, while you cease the attraction she has for you!!
It'll take some time and energy, but hey, what doesn't?
I hope this helped!!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Funny you should say that Matt,because that is what I am hoping ,that I can do magic, to find a man,that will sweep her off her feet,and as you said,take up where I left off,and maybe even give me the house back, in the process.This one is in both our name,but would be willing to let her have it,if it took that to truly move on.Hail SatanBrian

From: Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:26 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  ...well, I always figured that if I got with a girl I didn't want to be with (forever) that when it was over, I would perform a spell/ritual that would cease our relationship. Like "you love me no more" or something around those lines, end all the attraction.
However, in your case, it'd be a win-lose situation because, as you seem to have put it, this girl seems kinda dependent.
Though, since your having an open marriage, then perhaps while you work a spell that ceases her attraction/love for you, at the same time you can find a man that does love her the way you meant too.
If you love her as a friend, then maybe that's the best route to go. And hell, perhaps you can perform a spell/ritual to attract such a man that'd be perfect for her, while you cease the attraction she has for you!!
It'll take some time and energy, but hey, what doesn't?
I hope this helped!!!!
HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[strengththroughsatan89]

I see you in the same way Brian, and I hope everything works out for you in the end and that you find the person for you.

Hail Satan

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find
judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers
should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Sabrina White]

You could do a love spell so that she falls in love with one of her lovers and leaves you for him, thusly you will know that she will be taken care of but no longer tied to you.  You deserve to be full filled and happy, you may find that an open realtionship is just what you need, or speaking from experence you may find yourself in a jealouse rage and lonely dispare, it depends on what kind of an elemental person you are and how you handle emotions.  Being a water person and overly sensitive I didn't handle the situation emotionally well, and while I didn't do anything crazy like slash tires, I did lash out emotionally, which just created a whole new set of problems.  Im pretty sure this definantly qualifies as a situation where you can ask Father Satan or your GD for guidance.   After all Satan does know you better then you know yourself.  He will be able to tell you how you will handle the sitution and offer you a way out that you can't see because your standing in the middle of the choas.  Hail Satan! From: Brian <briangibbons20@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 9:26 AM
Subject: being honst with me and you

  Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Lord Kayle]

I think that is an excellent and great Idea!
~ Hail Satan! ~

 

[Allyson Ford]

It's okay bro I'm glad you got it out there. The most important thing is you are being honest with yourself. Letting go is a difficult thing. Although time can make it easier. Essentially it sounds like you two are titrating off of marriage. If you've already accepted that needs cannot be met it's time to move on. Be honest to yourself first of all. If you are not happy it is your life to change it. I know the feeling of settling just not exactly same circumstances. We are taught not to be selfish but is sticking up for your happiness really selfish?? She may be settling too if she wants the open marriage. Is time to start  Moving on and letting go. You'll come to realize it'll be for the best after giving to wounds time to heal. Satan, the demons, and the family are here for you. Honestly will carry you far  
Hail Satan!!

On Nov 24, 2011, at 10:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

  I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- [/IMG][/email][/url], "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Matt Kresel Kresel]

Most importantly, whatever it is you do, just have faith (in your workings and of course Father Satan) that it will all work out.
I hope for the best for you

 

[Mary-anne]

cant offer suggestions but can offer an applaud for your honesty and strength as that would have taken a hell of alot of strength to write, big hugs and hopes that your life changes for the better and you find the happiness you seek.

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Mary-anne]

well cant offer any advice but applaud your honesty and hope everything words out in the future. I know that wouldnt have been easy to post

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[tanya.azazel]

The love spell sounds good to do Brian. I hope it all works out for you, I believe it will. I too am looking for the right guy, I must say I have a hard time trusting a guy to be in a relationship with. But am trying to over come that and I am also learning things about myself along the way. I guess alot of us are learning about ourselves now that we are with Father Satan. Am sure everything shall turn out okay.

Hail Satan! Hail Azazel! Hail Zeus! Hail the Gods of Duat!

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Funny you should say that Matt,because that is what I am hoping ,that I can do magic, to find a man,that will sweep her off her feet,and as you said,take up where I left off,and maybe even give me the house back, in the process.This one is in both our name,but would be willing to let her have it,if it took that to truly move on.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:26 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
...well, I always figured that if I got with a girl I didn't want to be with (forever) that when it was over, I would perform a spell/ritual that would cease our relationship. Like "you love me no more" or something around those lines, end all the attraction.


However, in your case, it'd be a win-lose situation because, as you seem to have put it, this girl seems kinda dependent.


Though, since your having an open marriage, then perhaps while you work a spell that ceases her attraction/love for you, at the same time you can find a man that does love her the way you meant too.


If you love her as a friend, then maybe that's the best route to go. And hell, perhaps you can perform a spell/ritual to attract such a man that'd be perfect for her, while you cease the attraction she has for you!!


It'll take some time and energy, but hey, what doesn't?


I hope this helped!!!!


HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Yes Tanya,I do agree,about the love spell,to find her someone,to replace the love and care that I have given her.The biggest problem I have,is that she is getting more blind by the day,from her diabetes,which means she is getting more and more dependent on me to function.That is the only choice I have,because I refuse to throw her out,and can't find it in my heart to do that.Now if she was a bitch,or abusive,it would make the decision a lot easier.But the fact is,she is a very loving, tolerant,person,but like you said.When we come to Father,we are different too.I don't want,I NEED a woman,that is strong spiritually,and that I can grow closer to Father with.I just feel like I am short changing myself,and I just can't keep being with her anymore,because I feel sorry for her.So after the first of the year,I am going to have to do something for me.Hail SatanBrian

From: tanya.azazel <tanya.azazel@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 11:35 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  The love spell sounds good to do Brian. I hope it all works out for you, I believe it will. I too am looking for the right guy, I must say I have a hard time trusting a guy to be in a relationship with. But am trying to over come that and I am also learning things about myself along the way. I guess alot of us are learning about ourselves now that we are with Father Satan. Am sure everything shall turn out okay.

Hail Satan! Hail Azazel! Hail Zeus! Hail the Gods of Duat!

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Funny you should say that Matt,because that is what I am hoping ,that I can do magic, to find a man,that will sweep her off her feet,and as you said,take up where I left off,and maybe even give me the house back, in the process.This one is in both our name,but would be willing to let her have it,if it took that to truly move on.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:26 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
...well, I always figured that if I got with a girl I didn't want to be with (forever) that when it was over, I would perform a spell/ritual that would cease our relationship. Like "you love me no more" or something around those lines, end all the attraction.


However, in your case, it'd be a win-lose situation because, as you seem to have put it, this girl seems kinda dependent.


Though, since your having an open marriage, then perhaps while you work a spell that ceases her attraction/love for you, at the same time you can find a man that does love her the way you meant too.


If you love her as a friend, then maybe that's the best route to go. And hell, perhaps you can perform a spell/ritual to attract such a man that'd be perfect for her, while you cease the attraction she has for you!!


It'll take some time and energy, but hey, what doesn't?


I hope this helped!!!!


HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Deep inside I know all this Allyson,but finding the way to separate from a disabled person,is not that cut and dry.Funny but before I realized this about myself,and living in ignorance about it,was much easier.All I had to do was,do what I thought was the right and noble thing,and forget about what I want.But as I said,now that I know I am with her,because I feel sorry for her,and I want something more for myself.It is very challenging to live the loving husband,and stepfather to her girls lie.Just glad they are grown,as it makes my decision a little easier too.Hail SatanBrian

From: Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 4:26 PM
Subject: Re: Re: being honst with me and you

  It's okay bro I'm glad you got it out there. The most important thing is you are being honest with yourself. Letting go is a difficult thing. Although time can make it easier. Essentially it sounds like you two are titrating off of marriage. If you've already accepted that needs cannot be met it's time to move on. Be honest to yourself first of all. If you are not happy it is your life to change it. I know the feeling of settling just not exactly same circumstances. We are taught not to be selfish but is sticking up for your happiness really selfish?? She may be settling too if she wants the open marriage. Is time to start  Moving on and letting go. You'll come to realize it'll be for the best after giving to wounds time to heal. Satan, the demons, and the family are here for you. Honestly will carry you far  
Hail Satan!!

On Nov 24, 2011, at 10:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

  I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thanks Zevios Metathronos,I have already been working on trying to bring a Demon into my life,and yes I know what the decision has to be.I am with her out of mercy,and that is not a marriage to begin with.Trying to avoid as much hurt as possible,is my problem.Hail SatanBrian

From: Zevios Metathronos <Zevios Metathronos@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

 

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

Most of the time what we bring before Satanism,is false and was a choice under peer pressure,lack of knowledge or whatever. My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is. You chose the Truth above all of it and Satan will reward you. Why not a succubus? It would sound extremely beautiful to have a relationship with one and Demons are the dearest friends. Enjoy your life without any xianity. Dead end to it. Stay focused for now and use your powers.

HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thanks Brother!!!!!

From: Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 6:07 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Most importantly, whatever it is you do, just have faith (in your workings and of course Father Satan) that it will all work out.
I hope for the best for you

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thanks Sabrina,that is what I have come up with too.And I think I already have my plan,it's just putting it into action that is going to be the challenge.And btw my Sun is Pisces,and my Moon is Scorpio,so I understand too what you do about us.
Hail SatanBrian

From: Sabrina White <b1u3_f1utt3rb33@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  You could do a love spell so that she falls in love with one of her lovers and leaves you for him, thusly you will know that she will be taken care of but no longer tied to you.  You deserve to be full filled and happy, you may find that an open realtionship is just what you need, or speaking from experence you may find yourself in a jealouse rage and lonely dispare, it depends on what kind of an elemental person you are and how you handle emotions.  Being a water person and overly sensitive I didn't handle the situation emotionally well, and while I didn't do anything crazy like slash tires, I did lash out emotionally, which just created a whole new set of problems.  Im pretty sure this definantly qualifies as a situation where you can ask Father Satan or your GD for guidance.   After all Satan does know you better then you know yourself.  He will be able to tell you how you will handle the sitution and offer you a way out that you can't see because your standing in the middle of the choas.  Hail Satan! From: Brian <briangibbons20@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 9:26 AM
Subject: being honst with me and you

  Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[kvnfidler]

Since your now in an open marriage maybe you could do a spell that will cause her to fall in love with someone else. By the sounds of things I'm guessing she needs your health insurance or something like that. Stay legally married for the time being until she wants to marry the person she's in love with.
I'm in a similar situation, except she's pagan and we don't live together. She's on home dialysis we got legally married because she needed my health insurance. She's type 1 diabetic so I guess kidney failure is sort of expected.
Anyways, sorry to hear about your situation hopefully things will work out for you as painlessly as possible. As I understand you don't want to hurt her. I think your being in an open marriage will give you the freedom and growth you need, and chances are you will both find someone you want to be with.

--- In , "strengththroughsatan89" <horrorfan89@... wrote:

Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother


--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[tfbailey1969]

Brian....I think you should listen to Zevios Metathronos's advice when he says, "My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is." I spent six years in a relationship with someone with a disability and the last two years was because I felt sorry for him. When I finally broke up with him he went through a period of grieving, but then started to travel and do all sorts of things. He was being held back by the relationship and needed the break up as much as I did. Today he is so much of a better person.

Hail Satan!!
Death to the Xtian Church!!

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Yes Tanya,I do agree,about the love spell,to find her someone,to replace the love and care that I have given her.The biggest problem I have,is that she is getting more blind by the day,from her diabetes,which means she is getting more and more dependent on me to function.That is the only choice I have,because I refuse to throw her out,and can't find it in my heart to do that.Now if she was a bitch,or abusive,it would make the decision a lot easier.But the fact is,she is a very loving, tolerant,person,but like you said.When we come to Father,we are different too.I don't want,I NEED a woman,that is strong spiritually,and that I can grow closer to Father with.I just feel like I am short changing myself,and I just can't keep being with her anymore,because I feel sorry for her.So after the first of the year,I am going to have to do something for me.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: tanya.azazel <tanya.azazel@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 11:35 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
The love spell sounds good to do Brian. I hope it all works out for you, I believe it will. I too am looking for the right guy, I must say I have a hard time trusting a guy to be in a relationship with. But am trying to over come that and I am also learning things about myself along the way. I guess alot of us are learning about ourselves now that we are with Father Satan. Am sure everything shall turn out okay.

Hail Satan! Hail Azazel! Hail Zeus! Hail the Gods of Duat!

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Funny you should say that Matt,because that is what I am hoping ,that I can do magic, to find a man,that will sweep her off her feet,and as you said,take up where I left off,and maybe even give me the house back, in the process.This one is in both our name,but would be willing to let her have it,if it took that to truly move on.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:26 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
...well, I always figured that if I got with a girl I didn't want to be with (forever) that when it was over, I would perform a spell/ritual that would cease our relationship. Like "you love me no more" or something around those lines, end all the attraction.


However, in your case, it'd be a win-lose situation because, as you seem to have put it, this girl seems kinda dependent.


Though, since your having an open marriage, then perhaps while you work a spell that ceases her attraction/love for you, at the same time you can find a man that does love her the way you meant too.


If you love her as a friend, then maybe that's the best route to go. And hell, perhaps you can perform a spell/ritual to attract such a man that'd be perfect for her, while you cease the attraction she has for you!!


It'll take some time and energy, but hey, what doesn't?


I hope this helped!!!!


HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[darrklady13]

Ahhh Brian I know how hard this must be for you!!
I want you to know that I will always be your friend and never judge you for these choices.
I know we haven't spoken much since our last convo about Marijuanna use, and I know that you were correct in your opinions of it, and I thank you for that.

You gotta be happy. You gotta do what you gotta do to achieve it.
Is an open marriage the way you want it? or do you just plain want a seperation and divorce?

I'm "getting" that you want a seperation, so you can find a mate who is fullfilling your needs.
Relationships, IMO, are learning experiences. We learn from each other, our flaws, and our courage and our "good" points by relating to others, and they learn from us...sometimes they do....sometimes they don't, but what the hell!! at least we learn from them.

Does this woman want an open marriage?

Are you feeling a responsibility that you didn't need to feel?

You have outgrown this....and plus...she is still christian, which I can see does NOT make you happy.
I was in the same boat about 4 yrs ago. I had to kick off that bucket, and I have kids with the mother fucker to boot. haha

I commend you for your honesty.
If you seperate and divorce this woman, will YOUR security be at risk? Or just hers?

You gotta be you. If you can survive financially without this woman, and you are SURE you are over it with her, then make the move and leave her.

Surely she doesn't need to be in a relationship with a man who no longer needs HER.

Come to us whenever you wish, I am happy to be here for you too.


hailz

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[darrklady13]

Well said Cobra, well said.

hailz

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos" <Zevios Metathronos@... wrote:



--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

Most of the time what we bring before Satanism,is false and was a choice under peer pressure,lack of knowledge or whatever. My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is. You chose the Truth above all of it and Satan will reward you. Why not a succubus? It would sound extremely beautiful to have a relationship with one and Demons are the dearest friends. Enjoy your life without any xianity. Dead end to it. Stay focused for now and use your powers.

HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Nessa]

Father is with you thru all of this... Hope your journey in this is not to difficult.... We are here for you too brother...

Hail Satan..

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Thanks Zevios Metathronos,I have already been working on trying to bring a Demon into my life,and yes I know what the decision has to be.I am with her out of mercy,and that is not a marriage to begin with.Trying to avoid as much hurt as possible,is my problem.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Zevios Metathronos <Zevios Metathronos@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 


--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

Most of the time what we bring before Satanism,is false and was a choice under peer pressure,lack of knowledge or whatever. My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is. You chose the Truth above all of it and Satan will reward you. Why not a succubus? It would sound extremely beautiful to have a relationship with one and Demons are the dearest friends. Enjoy your life without any xianity. Dead end to it. Stay focused for now and use your powers.

HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[free2bslm]

I am sorry to hear about your situation, brother. You sound like someone who has a generous heart. There are a lot of things going on in your post, and it may not be wise to address them all at once.

It was a great start just to acknowledge that the current situation isn't working, and that you're probably going to have to break things off with your wife. Start working on the practical aspects of that with a level head. This will ensure that you don't get taken to the cleaners if she suddenly has a change of heart and decides to go for a nasty divorce (it happens.)

The other Zevism woman (and/or a loving xtian husband) are things that may or may not come along in time, but they'll be easier to secure once the loose ends are tied up with the relationship that you are both currently in. Similarly the house will resolve itself once you make the decision to end the current relationship. Prolonging things only burns up goodwill and will make the situation less likely to work out in your favor.

Regardless, the care you have taken writing this post shows you are truly a caring person and it is a priviledge to know you via these forums. I will hold you up in my prayers to Father Satan while you work through this very difficult transition.

Hail Satan!

(the other) Brian
Richmond, VA

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Allyson Ford]

Yes I can see how it would make it harder with a disabled person. Now your true feelings have surfaced so don't hold them back anymore (meanings don't go back to ignoring them).  That's good the kids are older cuz it will make it easier on them and the two of you. You should look into doing a tarot reading on the matter- I don't know if you have or do tarot but it really is wonderful!! Hang in there! Keep honest  

On Nov 25, 2011, at 3:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

  Deep inside I know all this Allyson,but finding the way to separate from a disabled person,is not that cut and dry.Funny but before I realized this about myself,and living in ignorance about it,was much easier.All I had to do was,do what I thought was the right and noble thing,and forget about what I want.But as I said,now that I know I am with her,because I feel sorry for her,and I want something more for myself.It is very challenging to live the loving husband,and stepfather to her girls lie.Just glad they are grown,as it makes my decision a little easier too.Hail SatanBrian

From: Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 4:26 PM
Subject: Re: Re: being honst with me and you

  It's okay bro I'm glad you got it out there. The most important thing is you are being honest with yourself. Letting go is a difficult thing. Although time can make it easier. Essentially it sounds like you two are titrating off of marriage. If you've already accepted that needs cannot be met it's time to move on. Be honest to yourself first of all. If you are not happy it is your life to change it. I know the feeling of settling just not exactly same circumstances. We are taught not to be selfish but is sticking up for your happiness really selfish?? She may be settling too if she wants the open marriage. Is time to start  Moving on and letting go. You'll come to realize it'll be for the best after giving to wounds time to heal. Satan, the demons, and the family are here for you. Honestly will carry you far  
Hail Satan!!

On Nov 24, 2011, at 10:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <[url=mailto:briangibbons20@...]briangibbons20@...[/url] wrote:

  I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <[url=mailto:horrorfan89@...]horrorfan89@...[/url]
To: [e[/IMG][/email][/url]
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- [/IMG][/email][/url], "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thanks kynfidler,no my situation is such,that I have been more her care taker,than her husband.She has had diabetes,for over 19 years,and has very little sight left.And yes the love spell thing,is something I have been rolling around in my mind too.We finally talked honestly last nite,and yes she is very hurt,but I know the truth is the only thing that will heal our friendship.Hail SatanBrian

From: kvnfidler <kvnfidler@...
To:
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 7:52 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Since your now in an open marriage maybe you could do a spell that will cause her to fall in love with someone else. By the sounds of things I'm guessing she needs your health insurance or something like that. Stay legally married for the time being until she wants to marry the person she's in love with.
I'm in a similar situation, except she's pagan and we don't live together. She's on home dialysis we got legally married because she needed my health insurance. She's type 1 diabetic so I guess kidney failure is sort of expected.
Anyways, sorry to hear about your situation hopefully things will work out for you as painlessly as possible. As I understand you don't want to hurt her. I think your being in an open marriage will give you the freedom and growth you need, and chances are you will both find someone you want to be with.

--- In , "strengththroughsatan89" <horrorfan89@... wrote:

Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother


--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Honestly Allyson the Tarot,has always been my favorite form of divination.I have about 15 of them lying around the house. lol I have thought of doing both that,and a love spell for her.Still trying to work out the details like planets and stuff,but thanks for caring Sister.Hail SatanBrian

From: Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@...
To:
Sent: Saturday, November 26, 2011 3:05 AM
Subject: Re: Re: being honst with me and you

  Yes I can see how it would make it harder with a disabled person. Now your true feelings have surfaced so don't hold them back anymore (meanings don't go back to ignoring them).  That's good the kids are older cuz it will make it easier on them and the two of you. You should look into doing a tarot reading on the matter- I don't know if you have or do tarot but it really is wonderful!! Hang in there! Keep honest  

On Nov 25, 2011, at 3:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

  Deep inside I know all this Allyson,but finding the way to separate from a disabled person,is not that cut and dry.Funny but before I realized this about myself,and living in ignorance about it,was much easier.All I had to do was,do what I thought was the right and noble thing,and forget about what I want.But as I said,now that I know I am with her,because I feel sorry for her,and I want something more for myself.It is very challenging to live the loving husband,and stepfather to her girls lie.Just glad they are grown,as it makes my decision a little easier too.Hail SatanBrian

From: Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 4:26 PM
Subject: Re: Re: being honst with me and you

  It's okay bro I'm glad you got it out there. The most important thing is you are being honest with yourself. Letting go is a difficult thing. Although time can make it easier. Essentially it sounds like you two are titrating off of marriage. If you've already accepted that needs cannot be met it's time to move on. Be honest to yourself first of all. If you are not happy it is your life to change it. I know the feeling of settling just not exactly same circumstances. We are taught not to be selfish but is sticking up for your happiness really selfish?? She may be settling too if she wants the open marriage. Is time to start  Moving on and letting go. You'll come to realize it'll be for the best after giving to wounds time to heal. Satan, the demons, and the family are here for you. Honestly will carry you far  
Hail Satan!!

On Nov 24, 2011, at 10:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

  I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <horrorfan89@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thank you Brian.It has already started to work out.I was honest with her,and she is working on the hurt,and feeling rejected,but we can now be honest with each other.Funny thing in all this,like most couples who go through this,fight for the house.Well we spent last night arguing,that the other person should have it.lol So we have decided to just be room mates,and see where this takes us.Good to finally talk to my Satanic name twin though. LOL Be proud of it Brian,it a good Gentile name Brother.Thanks for caring.Hail SatanBrian(the other one) LOL

From: free2bslm <snuglyone@...
To:
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 8:22 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  I am sorry to hear about your situation, brother. You sound like someone who has a generous heart. There are a lot of things going on in your post, and it may not be wise to address them all at once.

It was a great start just to acknowledge that the current situation isn't working, and that you're probably going to have to break things off with your wife. Start working on the practical aspects of that with a level head. This will ensure that you don't get taken to the cleaners if she suddenly has a change of heart and decides to go for a nasty divorce (it happens.)

The other Zevism woman (and/or a loving xtian husband) are things that may or may not come along in time, but they'll be easier to secure once the loose ends are tied up with the relationship that you are both currently in. Similarly the house will resolve itself once you make the decision to end the current relationship. Prolonging things only burns up goodwill and will make the situation less likely to work out in your favor.

Regardless, the care you have taken writing this post shows you are truly a caring person and it is a priviledge to know you via these forums. I will hold you up in my prayers to Father Satan while you work through this very difficult transition.

Hail Satan!

(the other) Brian
Richmond, VA

--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thanks Sister.

From: Nessa <kenessa@...
To:
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Father is with you thru all of this... Hope your journey in this is not to difficult.... We are here for you too brother...

Hail Satan..

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Thanks Zevios Metathronos,I have already been working on trying to bring a Demon into my life,and yes I know what the decision has to be.I am with her out of mercy,and that is not a marriage to begin with.Trying to avoid as much hurt as possible,is my problem.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Zevios Metathronos <Zevios Metathronos@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 


--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

Most of the time what we bring before Satanism,is false and was a choice under peer pressure,lack of knowledge or whatever. My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is. You chose the Truth above all of it and Satan will reward you. Why not a succubus? It would sound extremely beautiful to have a relationship with one and Demons are the dearest friends. Enjoy your life without any xianity. Dead end to it. Stay focused for now and use your powers.

HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Yes Brother,completely agree about the hold back part.Hail SatanBrian

From: tfbailey1969 <tfbailey1969@...
To:
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 10:02 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Brian....I think you should listen to Zevios Metathronos's advice when he says, "My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is." I spent six years in a relationship with someone with a disability and the last two years was because I felt sorry for him. When I finally broke up with him he went through a period of grieving, but then started to travel and do all sorts of things. He was being held back by the relationship and needed the break up as much as I did. Today he is so much of a better person.

Hail Satan!!
Death to the Xtian Church!!

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Yes Tanya,I do agree,about the love spell,to find her someone,to replace the love and care that I have given her.The biggest problem I have,is that she is getting more blind by the day,from her diabetes,which means she is getting more and more dependent on me to function.That is the only choice I have,because I refuse to throw her out,and can't find it in my heart to do that.Now if she was a bitch,or abusive,it would make the decision a lot easier.But the fact is,she is a very loving, tolerant,person,but like you said.When we come to Father,we are different too.I don't want,I NEED a woman,that is strong spiritually,and that I can grow closer to Father with.I just feel like I am short changing myself,and I just can't keep being with her anymore,because I feel sorry for her.So after the first of the year,I am going to have to do something for me.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: tanya.azazel <tanya.azazel@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 11:35 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
The love spell sounds good to do Brian. I hope it all works out for you, I believe it will. I too am looking for the right guy, I must say I have a hard time trusting a guy to be in a relationship with. But am trying to over come that and I am also learning things about myself along the way. I guess alot of us are learning about ourselves now that we are with Father Satan. Am sure everything shall turn out okay.

Hail Satan! Hail Azazel! Hail Zeus! Hail the Gods of Duat!

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Funny you should say that Matt,because that is what I am hoping ,that I can do magic, to find a man,that will sweep her off her feet,and as you said,take up where I left off,and maybe even give me the house back, in the process.This one is in both our name,but would be willing to let her have it,if it took that to truly move on.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Matt Kresel Kresel <kreselm.lhs@
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:26 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
...well, I always figured that if I got with a girl I didn't want to be with (forever) that when it was over, I would perform a spell/ritual that would cease our relationship. Like "you love me no more" or something around those lines, end all the attraction.


However, in your case, it'd be a win-lose situation because, as you seem to have put it, this girl seems kinda dependent.


Though, since your having an open marriage, then perhaps while you work a spell that ceases her attraction/love for you, at the same time you can find a man that does love her the way you meant too.


If you love her as a friend, then maybe that's the best route to go. And hell, perhaps you can perform a spell/ritual to attract such a man that'd be perfect for her, while you cease the attraction she has for you!!


It'll take some time and energy, but hey, what doesn't?


I hope this helped!!!!


HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Nessa]

Ur welcome brother... Some of can relate cuz we been close and understand some of what ur going thru... I have a soft heart deep down and have let myself get screwed over becuz of my own stupid reasons lol... I have vowed that I come first from now own.. You already know in your heart and support from your family know we have your back and your time wit father will help you its just putting it in to action thats always the hardest cuz u may feel obligated to her.. But you kno in the end you wont b fully happy feeling trapped and ur cocerns that something bad may happen... Father understands.. And is patient... I have Faith in you too....

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Thanks Sister.




________________________________
From: Nessa <kenessa@...
To:
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
Father is with you thru all of this... Hope your journey in this is not to difficult.... We are here for you too brother...

Hail Satan..

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Thanks Zevios Metathronos,I have already been working on trying to bring a Demon into my life,and yes I know what the decision has to be.I am with her out of mercy,and that is not a marriage to begin with.Trying to avoid as much hurt as possible,is my problem.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Zevios Metathronos <Zevios Metathronos@
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 


--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

Most of the time what we bring before Satanism,is false and was a choice under peer pressure,lack of knowledge or whatever. My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is. You chose the Truth above all of it and Satan will reward you. Why not a succubus? It would sound extremely beautiful to have a relationship with one and Demons are the dearest friends. Enjoy your life without any xianity. Dead end to it. Stay focused for now and use your powers.

HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Allyson Ford]

Of course brother! That's what we are here for

On Nov 26, 2011, at 6:15 AM, Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

  Honestly Allyson the Tarot,has always been my favorite form of divination.I have about 15 of them lying around the house. lol I have thought of doing both that,and a love spell for her.Still trying to work out the details like planets and stuff,but thanks for caring Sister.Hail SatanBrian

From: Allyson Ford <dectotaku34@...
To:
Sent: Saturday, November 26, 2011 3:05 AM
Subject: Re: Re: being honst with me and you

  Yes I can see how it would make it harder with a disabled person. Now your true feelings have surfaced so don't hold them back anymore (meanings don't go back to ignoring them).  That's good the kids are older cuz it will make it easier on them and the two of you. You should look into doing a tarot reading on the matter- I don't know if you have or do tarot but it really is wonderful!! Hang in there! Keep honest  

On Nov 25, 2011, at 3:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <[url=mailto:briangibbons20@...]briangibbons20@...[/url] wrote:

  Deep inside I know all this Allyson,but finding the way to separate from a disabled person,is not that cut and dry.Funny but before I realized this about myself,and living in ignorance about it,was much easier.All I had to do was,do what I thought was the right and noble thing,and forget about what I want.But as I said,now that I know I am with her,because I feel sorry for her,and I want something more for myself.It is very challenging to live the loving husband,and stepfather to her girls lie.Just glad they are grown,as it makes my decision a little easier too.Hail SatanBrian

From: Allyson Ford <[url=mailto:dectotaku34@...]dectotaku34@...[/url]
To: "[e[/IMG]JoyofSatan666@yahoo[/IMG][/email][/url]
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 4:26 PM
Subject: Re: Re: being honst with me and you

  It's okay bro I'm glad you got it out there. The most important thing is you are being honest with yourself. Letting go is a difficult thing. Although time can make it easier. Essentially it sounds like you two are titrating off of marriage. If you've already accepted that needs cannot be met it's time to move on. Be honest to yourself first of all. If you are not happy it is your life to change it. I know the feeling of settling just not exactly same circumstances. We are taught not to be selfish but is sticking up for your happiness really selfish?? She may be settling too if she wants the open marriage. Is time to start  Moving on and letting go. You'll come to realize it'll be for the best after giving to wounds time to heal. Satan, the demons, and the family are here for you. Honestly will carry you far  
Hail Satan!!

On Nov 24, 2011, at 10:55 AM, Brian Gibbons <[url=mailto:briangibbons20@...]briangibbons20@...[/url] wrote:

  I have always thought of you as a close friend,since I first came to this group strengththroughsatan.All of us have been through a lot,in this family,but we could all turn to each other for guidance in  our challenging life situations.That is what a family is all about,and I do consider you my Brother.Thanks for the suggestions my friend,but it is all up to me to do what must be done,in the end.So I have thought of doing a love spell of some kind,to bring a man into her life,that will take care of her,and give her the happiness,that she deserves,but I know in my heart it will never be me.So I am still putting it together right now.But you my family,have taught me,that we always have the Satanic Power,through Satan,who loves us,and created us,to change the situation,and find Fathers will for my life.Hail SatanBrian

From: strengththroughsatan89 <[url=mailto:horrorfan89@...]horrorfan89@...[/url]
To: [e[/IMG][/email][/url]
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 10:27 AM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Hey Brian,

I first want to say I admire your strength in sharing this as only the strong could do. We all have our secrets from our past that we intend to place in the darkness away from the eyes of society, and to a certain point we all where a shell to hide what we have hidden. However you should never apologize for this as I said before we all do it and anyone who says they dont even on the small scale is lying. A part of life and especially Spiritual Satanism is self growing and this includes realzing our mistaks, and to fix what we are displeased with. In order to do this one of the first things that must be done is to come to terms with those things we wish to fix, not only to ourselves but to the public as well. If we only tell ourselves that we need to overcome or fix something there is a small chance we might attempt it but if the public knows we have more reason to do it for we have those around us helping us, giving us support etc. You will never find judgement here brother as we are all family so do not feel ashamed or embarrassed as you are stronger than most here and not to mention working to actively working to better your life. A major part of Spiritual Satanism is to hav the best life possibal and to reach godhead we must not only have spiritual and physical perfection but mental to and having these things that we regret will only hold one back from reaching godhead.

Being only 22 yrs old and have never been in a relationship and never want to be I do not have much experience in this. However being a human being and a friend I will give you the best advice as I can. From your message I can tell you still have feelings for her but only as a friend. I can strongly see this by your comments on declining to have an open marriage as this will go against your beliefs and feelings and I am only guessing but also your feelings toward her as a friend and loyal to her who is your wife. However as you have openly shared this with us you should also share this with her. You two are both grown adults and should be able to handle the truth. Upon the two of you agreeing to have an open marriage you two knew that the relationship was not a strong husband-wife relationship and therefore it should come to no surpriese to her of your feelings. Not to mention if you two are good friends than admiting to this on both your side and hers should only strengthening the relationship. As it is uncomfortable for you to live this lie I am sure it is also uncomfortable for her as well. By getting this out of the way you both can come out of this mistake only stronger and therefore can still remain friends and have that relationship grow. In my view if you two continue this lie than it could even tak a strain on your friend relationship which will cause more hurt feelings than to end the husband-wife relationship. Than again I really do not know the deep details of the situation but from what you have told us this is the conclusion I have come to.

Many other groups outside of Satanism say we are selfish and to a certain point this is true. We work to shape our own destiny and to achieve our desires. When you care for her as a friend and wish to not hurt her you also have to think about yourself as to what is best for you. You can always achieve everything else you want and fulfill all of your desires but if you let this situation tie you down you will always have that little bit of regret in the back of your mind and not to mention soul and therefore you can never be satisfied with your life.

Just like with sex deprivation if we can not gain that afection we desire we can act out in certain ways. We all need that special someone to show us love and for us to show love back. Sadly in yoursituation this is not the case. Your devotion to her as a friend in wanting to be there for her could slow you down in showing affection for others or cause you to feel so lonely that you go for the wrong person out of desperation. This is a prime example of a sexual hang-up which are never good. Like I said before to reach spiritual perfection we need spiritual, physical and mental perfection.

So overall I say talk to her, share your feelings as to a certain point I am sure they are mutual. Also despite your feelings about her think of yourself and your utmost desire and what you want in life as no one should hold you back from being perfectly happy as no one should hold her back either. You two should have a marriage where you both are 100 percent satisfied and take no less than that. If I crossed any lines in what I said above I am deeply sorry but I wanted to express my feelings and opinions openly and meant no harm or disrespect. This is what I have to say so far and if I can think of anything else that might help I will sahre them with you in hopes it will give you come comfort and guidance.

Darkest of Blessings Brother

--- [/IMG][/email][/url], "Brian" <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

 

[Brian Gibbons]

Thanks Nessa,and I do know Satan is in all this too.If I was not completely positive about that,then I would not have the strength to do any of this.But I know Father Satan,and the Demons are completely supporting me,in this very challenging time in my growth.Hail SatanBrian

From: Nessa <kenessa@...
To:
Sent: Saturday, November 26, 2011 9:14 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you

  Ur welcome brother... Some of can relate cuz we been close and understand some of what ur going thru... I have a soft heart deep down and have let myself get screwed over becuz of my own stupid reasons lol... I have vowed that I come first from now own.. You already know in your heart and support from your family know we have your back and your time wit father will help you its just putting it in to action thats always the hardest cuz u may feel obligated to her.. But you kno in the end you wont b fully happy feeling trapped and ur cocerns that something bad may happen... Father understands.. And is patient... I have Faith in you too....

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@... wrote:

Thanks Sister.




________________________________
From: Nessa <kenessa@...
To:
Sent: Friday, November 25, 2011 4:58 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 
Father is with you thru all of this... Hope your journey in this is not to difficult.... We are here for you too brother...

Hail Satan..

--- In , Brian Gibbons <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Thanks Zevios Metathronos,I have already been working on trying to bring a Demon into my life,and yes I know what the decision has to be.I am with her out of mercy,and that is not a marriage to begin with.Trying to avoid as much hurt as possible,is my problem.
Hail Satan
Brian




________________________________
From: Zevios Metathronos <Zevios Metathronos@
To:
Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 6:36 PM
Subject: Re: being honst with me and you


 


--- In , "Brian" <briangibbons20@ wrote:

Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian

Most of the time what we bring before Satanism,is false and was a choice under peer pressure,lack of knowledge or whatever. My advice is to have no mercy. You can't be with someone as a result of 'mercy', as this is not the way a Satanist is. You chose the Truth above all of it and Satan will reward you. Why not a succubus? It would sound extremely beautiful to have a relationship with one and Demons are the dearest friends. Enjoy your life without any xianity. Dead end to it. Stay focused for now and use your powers.

HAIL SATAN!!!!

 

[Allison Passino]

Hey, it takes courage to speak out and be honest, Brother.   Oh, and just an aside, by blind, do you mean not being able to see, in a physical sense? If so, well, is she really that non-functional? I only ask because I happen to be totally blind, and I'm pretty damn functional myself. Lol. I know you didn't mean that as a slight; just sayin'. ^ Or does she have multiple disabilities, to where she has more wrong with her than blindness? There are, sadly, lots of blind people who have that issue. But then, there are lots who just can't see, but otherwise are perfectly normal. Thanks be to Father, I am one of the normal, healthy ones. I was born premature, and they gave me too much oxygen in the incubator thingie, which screwed up my retinas. I do have some light perception, but it is limited; I can see the sunlight, for exampel. I can't see the colour or anything; I just can see the light itself, if it's a nice, strong light. I'm grateful for what light perception I do have, though, even if it's not very useful. Lol. Sorry for the long post, but just trying to educate a bit if you don't already know. I don't know how many other blind people you may know.   AS for suggestions, well, I really think divorce is best at this stage. You don't love her, she doesn't love you, so why stay together? Seems rather stupid to me. I didn't mean that in a harsh way, just a realistic way. You're not helping either of you. I know you don't want to hurt her. Well, in any case, I wish you all the best. I'm sure you will arrive at a workable, happy solution. Love ya bro! ^ Hang in there. Hail Father Satan!

----- Original Message ----- From: Brian To: Sent: Thursday, November 24, 2011 7:26 AM Subject: being honst with me and you
  Well where the fuck do I start.I guess we start at the beginning.I met my wife before I met my Father Satan.As I come clean with my Zevism family,many who have known me for some time,are going to be shocked by what I say,but Spiritual Satanism,is about the truth,in all its many forms.I met and married a woman 4 years ago,who was almost completely blind,and not at all attractive to me,who is a xtian to boot,although very tolerant,and a kind,and loving friend.I have to apologize for lying to you,and myself for all this time.I made it sound that I was in a happy marriage,when the reality is I am stuck with a woman, that can't function,with out my help.Many of you know her as Connie,whom I have never been in love with,but do care about her as a friend.I have been living in a dilution,that I was happily married,which is far from the case.

I have this saying that I have always said,that once you know,you can never not know.I am not a cold person,so I could never abandon her,but I know that I settled for this life,and don't believe that I can keep living this lie,no matter what.She told me years ago,that she would love to have an open marriage,but I always declined,because I am a very monogamous person,and just couldn't see myself doing that.Well things change,and we officially have an open marriage,because we both agreed that we could not meet each others needs.

So now I am free,to find a very strong and sexy,and advanced Zevism woman,and have the life I have always been searching for.But the problem is I am stuck in this mess,and not sure how to get out of it,with the least hurt to both of us.I have this problem of doing stupid shit too,out of loneliness,as many have said on this group also,so I to am right with ya.I took off my wedding ring,so I could not ever lie to myself again.Now I know that over the years of doing Yoga,and Power Meditations,that I am not helpless,and have the power to change things.But now it is me,who is asking for suggestions,about how to handle this in the right way.I have tried my best to help others on here as I could,and now I am the one that is needing some help,from my dear Zevism family.So any feed back,is much appreciated,and again sorry for painting the wrong picture,to those I care about the most.
Hail Satan
Brian