Hello, my name is Andrew. It has been a good while since I've been active in any JOS e-groups, but I have been studying on the JOS for a couple years now.
I'm gonna cut right to the chase, when it comes to spiritual progression, I'm no simpleton. I have felt the pulsing flames of the kundahlini, and the overwhelming rhythm of the philosopher's stone. I even gave the Magnum Opus steps some attention and study a while back.
Here's the thing, every time I start making fantastic progress in these areas, I tend to experience a backlash. That is-- daily kundahlini meditations, frequent near-rising experiences, then all of the sudden my drive is gone, and my progress dwindles. I truly believe I have come close to spiritual transformation, close enough to taste it, multiple multiple times. To be fair, I am sure that part of my problem is my own disciplinary foundation. I've never been a terribly hard worker, Spiritual Satanism is my only place of even remote diligence. I've been trying very hard to teach myself discipline. I've been signing up for vigorous classes in academia, I've been trying to get into shape with exercise, parkour, and martial arts, and I've been trying to be more active in helping my community. If anything of these things will help me, time will tell.
The reason I'm posting this is because I'm also calling out to some advanced individuals. High Priests/esses are far beyond welcome to chime in. I feel like I'm missing one vital piece of the Godhood puzzle. I feel like there is one extra piece of knowledge, one meditation, one mantra, one trick to power that in its absence I fall so barely short of revolution again and again.
What is the final step?
Where do I need to look?
I appreciate the consideration of anyone who has the time to help me out. Thank you very much -Andrew
I'm gonna cut right to the chase, when it comes to spiritual progression, I'm no simpleton. I have felt the pulsing flames of the kundahlini, and the overwhelming rhythm of the philosopher's stone. I even gave the Magnum Opus steps some attention and study a while back.
Here's the thing, every time I start making fantastic progress in these areas, I tend to experience a backlash. That is-- daily kundahlini meditations, frequent near-rising experiences, then all of the sudden my drive is gone, and my progress dwindles. I truly believe I have come close to spiritual transformation, close enough to taste it, multiple multiple times. To be fair, I am sure that part of my problem is my own disciplinary foundation. I've never been a terribly hard worker, Spiritual Satanism is my only place of even remote diligence. I've been trying very hard to teach myself discipline. I've been signing up for vigorous classes in academia, I've been trying to get into shape with exercise, parkour, and martial arts, and I've been trying to be more active in helping my community. If anything of these things will help me, time will tell.
The reason I'm posting this is because I'm also calling out to some advanced individuals. High Priests/esses are far beyond welcome to chime in. I feel like I'm missing one vital piece of the Godhood puzzle. I feel like there is one extra piece of knowledge, one meditation, one mantra, one trick to power that in its absence I fall so barely short of revolution again and again.
What is the final step?
Where do I need to look?
I appreciate the consideration of anyone who has the time to help me out. Thank you very much -Andrew
