Relationships #78630 Obsession in love

[Ask Satya Operator]

I know a guy, he's into me since he first saw me. But he is like this to the almost every woman in his life and probably cheated on me. We had a relationship that involves.. only sex and bed romanticism? I said I am not comfortable with it anymore, I asked him not to do it for a while, to see if we could continue the relationship without sex just for a while, and he agreed because there were almost only sex. Then he grew distant, his tolerance for me has diminished, I broke up. He still seems to have romantic feelings and he seems to love me but he also seems to love other women. Lately I can only think about him. I met one of his exes recently, she disrespected me only because she knew about my communication with him and I think the guy denied the fact that we used to be lovers. For her.
I'm sorry to take your time, I guess all these factors combined I have some reasons. I hate him so bad and at the same time I still want to be with him as well. But I know he is not right for me, he disrespected me and I need to let it go before the relationship evolves into a labyrinth. I don't think I can do the detachment meditation because I still desire to be with him, sorry for my English.
My AC is in conjunction with his DC and same situation for him, my AC is Scorpio, his Taurus. They are in conjunction degree to degree. It's a good position, isn't it? By the way, every time I do tarot readings for us, the wheel of fortune comes. I think it's partly because of this synastry and sometimes tarot readings, I'm still hopeful about him, about the relationship.
But it probably won't happen, and if it does, I'll be cheated. And I know, I will continue to hate him in my heart for disrespecting me for another woman. What should I do? How can I move forward and put this behind me?

Thank you very much for reading this far. I wanted to explain the issue with all the aspects that have become blinded in me.

 

[Blitzkreig [TG]]

I know a guy, he's into me since he first saw me. But he is like this to the almost every woman in his life and probably cheated on me. We had a relationship that involves.. only sex and bed romanticism? I said I am not comfortable with it anymore, I asked him not to do it for a while, to see if we could continue the relationship without sex just for a while, and he agreed because there were almost only sex. Then he grew distant, his tolerance for me has diminished, I broke up. He still seems to have romantic feelings and he seems to love me but he also seems to love other women. Lately I can only think about him. I met one of his exes recently, she disrespected me only because she knew about my communication with him and I think the guy denied the fact that we used to be lovers. For her.
I'm sorry to take your time, I guess all these factors combined I have some reasons. I hate him so bad and at the same time I still want to be with him as well. But I know he is not right for me, he disrespected me and I need to let it go before the relationship evolves into a labyrinth. I don't think I can do the detachment meditation because I still desire to be with him, sorry for my English.
My AC is in conjunction with his DC and same situation for him, my AC is Scorpio, his Taurus. They are in conjunction degree to degree. It's a good position, isn't it? By the way, every time I do tarot readings for us, the wheel of fortune comes. I think it's partly because of this synastry and sometimes tarot readings, I'm still hopeful about him, about the relationship.
But it probably won't happen, and if it does, I'll be cheated. And I know, I will continue to hate him in my heart for disrespecting me for another woman. What should I do? How can I move forward and put this behind me?

Thank you very much for reading this far. I wanted to explain the issue with all the aspects that have become blinded in me.

It is possible for him to have elements of being flirty with other women, but you also appear to have issues trusting him. You have to be careful of pre-emptively self-sabotaging something based on fears that you will be cheated on, or the idea that he has "already cheated" somehow. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it creates an overly cynical view of the situation, leading to actions that favor detachment.

I understand you wanted to see how the relationship would go on without sex, but this also created a significant strain on the relationship, because you removed one of the most major acts of bonding, if not the highest form, that two couples can engage in. For many people, this is an essential activity, not a complementary one.

Instead of removing sex, you could have instead placed an emphasis on doing more together, in addition to this, not in opposition to it. As the relationship was being benefited by the mixing of energies from sex, this would have supported you to "branch out" in new ways without as much stress.

Again, yes, it is possible for him to do wrong things, too, but you have to also judge your own actions and how that could have impacted the relationship. I also don't see anywhere here where you talked about his perspective, such as what he may want or feel about what has happened.

 

[Pammy]

I think the guy denied the fact that we used to be lovers. For her.

Denying your relationship ever existed is a bad sign, I agree. Since this is your breaking point, you should get to the root of the issue. You think he lied; maybe it is the girl who lied. If he indeed is a liar, yes, this is a reason for a breakup. However, be sure and don't end your relationship because of a false accusation.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

Lately I can only think about him. I met one of his exes recently, she disrespected me only because she knew about my communication with him and I think the guy denied the fact that we used to be lovers. For her.

I have read many messages of people, expecially women, with similar love issues.
I must admit, relationship are very troubled in the actual society and having to do with "outsiders" non-Zevists may being some issues to your life.
What you describe seems quite disrespectful of you and immature. You are probably young, young guys are often not stable in their love life yet. It all depends on Planets and education, because what is imprinted in the mind during childhood may affect love love in the years to come.

Said this. You obsession may come from insecurity and deep desire of being accepted and loved/liked by him.
The more he makes you insecure, the more you try to be "wanted" by him and this may cause sort of obsession you descrive. AC conjunct DC may mean you are very involved as a partner, and it seems you are beneficial to him rather than him to you. But all the sinastry should be analyzed to be accurate.

This relationship seems to me an evolution point for you, depending on your transits at now. Your chart Ruler is Pluto so observe is any major transit is undergoing now to your Pluto or some other planets involving your self-esteem or relationships.
Playing with insecurity of a woman, is widespread among men. Instead of being supportive and try to not let the woman feel insecure or unwanted, they do this on purpose to attach to their chakras and drain or control them. Of course this happens also from women to men, the opposite. Global perception of relationship is shifting into manipulation and emotional blackmail due to tv, mass media, education and increased abuse of emotions in public, like social networks, and the such.

If I were you, I would not allow a guy to treat me like "one of his toys" as you seem genuinely interested in him and in a deeper relationship.
I think, you may be attracted for fear of being refused or lack of affection in childhood, so you demand a lot in relationships.
If you allow some healtier man to "father" you for a while, understanding you and giving you back appreciation and good feelings (not necessaryly in a love relationship) you may end up being less emotionally dependant on appreciation.

Let us know here, how this goes on for you.

 

[Ask Satya Operator]

It is possible for him to have elements of being flirty with other women, but you also appear to have issues trusting him. You have to be careful of pre-emptively self-sabotaging something based on fears that you will be cheated on, or the idea that he has "already cheated" somehow. This can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it creates an overly cynical view of the situation, leading to actions that favor detachment.

I understand you wanted to see how the relationship would go on without sex, but this also created a significant strain on the relationship, because you removed one of the most major acts of bonding, if not the highest form, that two couples can engage in. For many people, this is an essential activity, not a complementary one.

Instead of removing sex, you could have instead placed an emphasis on doing more together, in addition to this, not in opposition to it. As the relationship was being benefited by the mixing of energies from sex, this would have supported you to "branch out" in new ways without as much stress.

Again, yes, it is possible for him to do wrong things, too, but you have to also judge your own actions and how that could have impacted the relationship. I also don't see anywhere here where you talked about his perspective, such as what he may want or feel about what has happened.

Thank you dear TG, you are right in everything you say, I am being selfish.

At that time I tended to remove sex from the relationship for a while because even if we did things together it was always connected to sex and I really thought that he only wanted me for sex, for material pleasure. And, after a while, maybe because our connection didn't deepen, I don't know, my sexual desire for him atrophied. When I couldn't keep up with him, I wanted to focus on strengthening our bond without this.
At that time he was spending all of his time with his friends and when he came (he only had time for me at night, mostly) he was going straight to sex.

I was always restless with him, he was really flirtatious. I got the idea that he was cheating because of someone in his circle of friends who told me that he had a long-term relationship with another woman. And when I met that woman with coincidence, he denied the fact that I had been his lover before.

It was really humiliating but after a week I realized I shouldn't focus on that. I want to can my grudge against him and put it away until he comes back to me. I'll take what you say into consideration for my next relationships.

 

[Ask Satya Operator]

I have read many messages of people, expecially women, with similar love issues.
I must admit, relationship are very troubled in the actual society and having to do with "outsiders" non-Zevists may being some issues to your life.
What you describe seems quite disrespectful of you and immature. You are probably young, young guys are often not stable in their love life yet. It all depends on Planets and education, because what is imprinted in the mind during childhood may affect love love in the years to come.

Said this. You obsession may come from insecurity and deep desire of being accepted and loved/liked by him.
The more he makes you insecure, the more you try to be "wanted" by him and this may cause sort of obsession you descrive. AC conjunct DC may mean you are very involved as a partner, and it seems you are beneficial to him rather than him to you. But all the sinastry should be analyzed to be accurate.

This relationship seems to me an evolution point for you, depending on your transits at now. Your chart Ruler is Pluto so observe is any major transit is undergoing now to your Pluto or some other planets involving your self-esteem or relationships.
Playing with insecurity of a woman, is widespread among men. Instead of being supportive and try to not let the woman feel insecure or unwanted, they do this on purpose to attach to their chakras and drain or control them. Of course this happens also from women to men, the opposite. Global perception of relationship is shifting into manipulation and emotional blackmail due to tv, mass media, education and increased abuse of emotions in public, like social networks, and the such.

If I were you, I would not allow a guy to treat me like "one of his toys" as you seem genuinely interested in him and in a deeper relationship.
I think, you may be attracted for fear of being refused or lack of affection in childhood, so you demand a lot in relationships.
If you allow some healtier man to "father" you for a while, understanding you and giving you back appreciation and good feelings (not necessaryly in a love relationship) you may end up being less emotionally dependant on appreciation.

Let us know here, how this goes on for you.

Thank you And thank you for your reply @Pammy
I think it is the effect of the deep cleaning, it is easily solved for me. On Sunday I am starting to removing negative karma for my relationships, then I will start a love working.
I was constantly watching him, trying to see things in him that he didn't show me through his environment. I was disgusted by what I saw, and the incident I described happened.
I internalized the fact that I would hate him even if we were and that I didn't care that much about him... Because, as TG said, I can't even empathize with him. Just memories.

I had my first sexual experience with him, and he humiliated me that way, I thought these feelings would never go away but I am surprised. Things are going well for now.

If this had happened before I became a Zevist, I would have spent the rest of my life with this boy, I would have done anything and everything to make him love me, I would have watch him forever and ruined life for both of us. Once again I realized how lucky I was.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

If this had happened before I became a Zevist, I would have spent the rest of my life with this boy, I would have done anything and everything to make him love me, I would have watch him forever and ruined life for both of us. Once again I realized how lucky I was.

I have seen in Natal Charts of people with negative influence on 7th house, Venus and relationship related placements, that the first partners may be negative in some ways. I think this is often due to past lives karma.
What I wish and perceive about you is, things will get better. As you say being a Zevist gives you a higher view and the tools to fix those events.
You seem very aware of what happened to you so it0's very good!
I know how sometimes the mind can carry you away with someone, like this guy.
I think cutting astral links chakra-to-chakra with him will let you progress in your love life easily.

I am not the best example here as I have tons of negativity in my relationship and bad placements, that affected my life. But despite all of this, I had my wonderful moments in my love life, and I will again.
I wish you, to fulfill your need for affection with the right person, and grow healty in your Zevist life.
Also, last but not least. Developing a sane relationship will help you to grow internal self-love. Because, many people who have relationship issues, do have some lack of self love.
Love yourself, the Gods love you, this is for sure.