I'm currently in my 20's but have serious problems with actually establishing structure in my life. I'll do good for a bit with something and then completely fall off of the tracks. I'm well aware that this is my responsibility and whining about it isn't going to make things any better but I thought I'd ask to see if anyone has any advice. Its overwhelming at times. I didn't go to school growing up and was ""home schooled"" ( not actually taught anything, just sat around all day ). After awhile the police did end up getting involved and I went through some of highschool online. Managed to graduate but still haven't moved past the brain rot from watching youtube practically constantly between the ages of 6 - 19. Had issues for awhile regarding not actually being taught to take care of myself, lived in filth as a child. My parents were largely absent in my life despite living in the same home. Have largely solved the issues with cleanliness but still struggle with actually doing things consistently. Still have some trouble with excessive use of social media. Causing issues with my life between additional education, job advancement, meditation etc. Mostly consistent with meditations now but still have trouble from time to time. I'm working to deal with these issues but wanted to see if anyone here had any advice.
Thank you. Sorry for using the ask Satan service but I'm quite embarrassed.
In the Ancient Greeks there was a myth of the black and white horse. Respectively, these horses represent the logic and the emotions. These two forces are never at ease with one another. To illustrate an example:
You want to go to the gym. Part of you always doesn't want to go, it wants you to be lazy and to sit down. Then, if you satisfy the entropic end of the mind and sit your ass down, your logical mind starts to complain: "but if I sit down i'll lose my gym day and never have the body that I want!". Then, if you get up to go to the gym, the other part of the mind strikes again "maybe it's not that important to go anyway".
No matter what decision you make, one part of you will be disappointed. The part you want to always disappoint is this part of the soul that wants you to remain an eternal worthless slob.
After this part of the mind is tamed properly, then it will start giving you incentives to do the things that you want, not the other way around. But to bring this to that level, you need to whip it and bring it into place. In the myths, this is the taming of a very wild horse. It can only take you to places after you tame it. The more you deny taming it, the less places you will be able to go.
Those who ignore this battle get nowhere in existence, and the entropic and negative forces of nature overtake them, causing depression and all sorts of inner destruction.
Those who are true lovers of truth and power, will take this pain and complaints from the inferior part of the mind, and decide that this pain is more worthwhile than a lifetime of ignorance.
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An example that comes to mind here, is that the mind, in the beginning, if programmed against meditation [some people are programmed with an extreme fear to spirituality - watching thriller movies and what have you], can to some extent be closed to meditation, and can cause to someone symptoms like feeling sleepy, or literally batter someone with just about any other thought other than wanting to meditate.
This world of today is also rife with people who are extremely afraid of facing themselves in anyway. Even though material comfort is ever rising, people are not using this comfort that exists today to reach higher spiritually, and on the contrary, many are sinking into being an NPC that merely experiences stimuli without thinking.
In cases of worse programming against meditation or self improvement, such as self guilt, or feeling as if one is doing something very bad [or is doing "a sin" against "god" for looking inside themselves, WTF Christ-Insanity], the mind can go as far as to cause reactions to make someone stop meditating, thinking of meditation as a threat. A hypothetical event here would be, everytime one sits down to meditate, one gets extreme urges to go eat [even if they ate a moment ago] or do just about anything else, and do only just what will interrupt their meditation and make them lose their meditation.
Reprogramming the above can be helpful and accelerate people in meditation. One example here would be to remind to one's self: "I am positively accepting the new habit of meditation in my life, and I know it is positive for me". As this is repeated as a thought, the mind will also become more open in accepting meditation.
The untrained and lazy average mind, also hates to be confronted with thought or in some way elevated activity, and this is why many people keep watching passively things all day long such as brainwashing from their TV. It is no wonder most humans find recreational, things that do not at all stimulate the mind.
The more the mind is in lethargy, the more it adjusts and makes an environment which goes deeper and deeper into that state. The end result of this is the NPC manifested, humans that hardly use their mind at all. While this has a mental range, this also has a physical manifestation.
The mind is in this case is at a very inactive state, and it works passively. When this downwards movement is conquered and turned to the other side, the opposite happens. The mind will actually work to your benefit, and all these tendencies that were against your improvement, will start shaping to be in your benefit.
A manifestation here would be, instead of a feeling of not wanting to meditate, a strong willpower will arise from within you with the need to meditate, or a habituation where meditation becomes like second nature to you, and you no longer experience that many obstacles most of the time. Instead of feeling like it's the world's burden to do something good for yourself, you'll feel like doing something good is actually something you get motivated over.
Eventually the above gives in and one starts experiencing clarity, better thought, more energy, and starts to experience direct reaping of the benefits of meditation. As with anything else, one has to make this a habit, and to kick out the habit of not being meditative in one's life, one has to do this step by step and with patience.
Habits, or repetitive actions, do cross over from the logical and conscious level to the mind, registering little by little to the subconscious mind. This is how meditation becomes normal to the mind over mind, and progressively it becomes normal to it. This is also how certain hangups get into the mind, by repetition: someone called a failure again and again.
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=186706#p186706External ↗
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The natural tendency of all human beings, among others, is to run away when one hears the sounds of battle in anyway, shape or form. If you hear a sudden sound, the first reaction is to run away. If something comes to change you, the first reaction is to disapprove it. Most people are victims of this massively.
You will want to move away from battles on the basic natural state, in which, cowardice reigns.
Meditation, inner work, undigging pains, cleaning your soul, empowering yourself, all of this resembles war. You will start on a state of war. Discontent, fear, opposition, hate, all of these are going to be at your doorstep when you start this journey.
Heraclitus, an Ancient Greek master philosopher said succinctly: "War is the father of all things". We are in a state of war in this dimension.
The body will react, the mind will react, only the soul will agree with your decisions to begin with. To begin with, it won't be easy to listen to that, and everything else will start popping up to deter you from advancement.
Like a loud sound of a sudden event, you will want to run.
Many of you also keep sending me e-mails like "How you read something bad and want to leave the forums", or "how this is impeding me from meditating", "I cannot meditate because of X reason" and all sorts of other problems. These are parts of life.
https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=427238#p427238External ↗
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