Read. Read books. And look up words you don't understand.
Are you here or are you banned?
If you are here and posting you are accepted.
I think that's a lot of personal reflection you're putting out there.
Know Thyself.
And the first thing in knowing is that we actually know nothing at all. In the great scheme of things we know very little.
Anyway you will be judged by what you write. Problem is tiredness and posting without having time to really do it properly.
We are here. We are still focused. I like you do what we can you know.
And you've done a lot of work for our side as well. You're a true team player.
As others have said not to judge yourself too harshly. Are you fighting with yourself in your mind because we tend to judge ourselves the most harshly.
When I was taking Kung Fu lessons my mind was very controlled and sharp from learning and practicing all the moves, techniques and sequences.
And as I said reading sharpened my mind as well.
I don't have time now to read but it was good and is something I also wish to do. Have a great big pile of books here I never read.
You're alright man. No stressing about it but yes we must always be striving.
I used to be in the very early Yahoo Groups. Just imagine how if I had the determination I too could have a ranking here.
But like you I'm on my own and work so time and energy is used to sustain myself.
The benefit of being on your own is that you have no distractions from doing what you want and need to.
But then there's the worries of being on your own like I have no support I'm like all on my own.
Sometimes I feel vulnerable being on my own. But we are old souls that thirst to study, do the spiritual warfare vibrations and meditate.
All things done by the self. And being on your own you're just needing some support. You're not alone. You may be on your own but you're not alone. There are others fighting the same fight.
We take one day at a time. And keep working my brother.