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I feel like crap all the time and I don't know why

libra_sun_rising

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Joined
Jan 9, 2024
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47
I am constantly crying and I don't know why and I want to be better but the energy is drained out of me even just getting trash picked up is draining . So By the time I get it all bagged up it and put it by the door for my step son to take out .

It feels like I been hit by a truck and I crawl in bed and sleep and I take B12 and what not . I haven't told my husband he has enough to worry about . He has enough stress we ether have to buy the home we live in or find a new place by the end of May.

So I am at the end of my rope and idk what to do
 
We al had go through this kind of phases. Know that you are not alone.
We are a family, more than a community.
Try chanting Sowilo Rune and Gebo Rune. If you have a partner, try sex magick. Do Rituals of Gods.

We, as Joy of Satan, love you. Satan and his Demons loves you.

 
I think you could be anemic. This is especially more common with women since women bleed more often. If this is your problem, get Black Strap Molasses. This type of molasses has a higher amount of iron than any other food, and also the molecule that the iron is in is in the form that is easiest to digest and use. It tastes better if you mix it with milk.

It would be good for you to get a full blood test to see if any other things are in the wrong amounts.

I also believe that you are highly deficient with magnesum. Nearly all people are deficient with magnesium. This is one of the most important nutrients, and is used in more than 400 different processes in every area of the body and in all cells. This also is strongly related to the muscles, and is used to allow the muscles to relax. If all of your muscles are so stiff from lack of magnesium, you will barely be able to move. Be careful not to take too high of a dose of magnesium per day, because a high dose could make you suddenly and unexpectedly need to use the bathroom. There are also different forms of magnesium in different molecules, and the different versions are more easily absorbed and used in different parts of the body, which makes them a little better or worse for different jobs. So it is good to get one that has multiple forms.
 
I will try it out and get that blood work done with my husband working it will be hard. Idk but I think having my gallbladder in 2017 having taken out might be part of the problem
 
You won't feel better by staying in bed. If it is safe for you to do so, you must force yourself to get out. Stagnation will cause disease in your body.

Also, you seem to be neglecting your mental health. Crying without a reason is not normal. The truth is, you know why; you've just buried the reason so deep as to not have to face and deal with it. Your body is suffering, but your mind doesn't want to face the cause. You must be brutally honest with yourself here. Is it stress? Is it feelings of unworthiness? Ask yourself, and don't be afraid of the answer, as it's clearly not a pleasant one. That's the only path to healing.
 
I am constantly crying and I don't know why and I want to be better but the energy is drained out of me even just getting trash picked up is draining . So By the time I get it all bagged up it and put it by the door for my step son to take out .

It feels like I been hit by a truck and I crawl in bed and sleep and I take B12 and what not . I haven't told my husband he has enough to worry about . He has enough stress we ether have to buy the home we live in or find a new place by the end of May.

So I am at the end of my rope and idk what to do

Just speaking very generally, you want to try to stabilize your elements. Fire is the spark of life and would give you more energy. Before doing any chores or other energy expenditures, I would first do something to increase your energy, such as the breath of fire or breathing in white gold energy into your soul. Once you have the energy, then you can plan out other courses of action about your situation.

Also, not telling your husband isn't going to help because the problem exists whether or not he knows about it. Similarly, you should also contact Valefor and ask for guidance on the matter, as we can only give general solutions or ideas without knowing more into the problem.
 
I was put up for a closed adoption and adopted by jew/ jew owned house and that is a nightmare in its self that story is for a different time.

Basically I was abused as a child and went hell and I know I hid it so deep inside my soul . I have and still have nightmares that if they are bad enough I will sit up quickly .

It be honest it's more than I can take alone and I am sure father Satan / the other knows this but I am to scared to ask for help. I am very very strong willed and I don't want to be seen as weak
 
I was put up for a closed adoption and adopted by jew/ jew owned house and that is a nightmare in its self that story is for a different time.

Basically I was abused as a child and went hell and I know I hid it so deep inside my soul . I have and still have nightmares that if they are bad enough I will sit up quickly .

It be honest it's more than I can take alone and I am sure father Satan / the other knows this but I am to scared to ask for help. I am very very strong willed and I don't want to be seen as weak

Emotions that are unresolved can come out and express themselves in manners like this. For example, those with PTSD had reported sudden panic attacks or crying spells before treatment and things of that nature.

It is not really a matter of weakness or not, but just a matter of feeling and perception. Abuse as a child or other traumatic events can shatter the soul's sense of safety which then causes strange behaviors later on like not wanting to ask for help (due to a subconscious belief that help won't arrive).

My personal theory regarding nightmares or disturbed sleep is that here the event is showing during the soul's natural time that it would purge and process the subconscious, like an indicator that one is dealing with heavier than normal matters. I had read before that when people would try to block their bad dreams with drugs or alcohol, it actually causes a rebound effect later, possibly due to them blocking the natural reflection and processing that comes from sleep.

Therefore it is a matter of emotional healing, which usually deals with matters of safety and comfort and trying to reconcile what happened. You could do research online about people who have also faced the same issue you had. There may also be online counseling or other services which could help before seeking a more professional option.

You will still have to do the work of healing on your own so it is not like you seeking therapy or asking for guidance is admitting defeat. All of that is more like getting instruction to do something that you may not know how to do, but they can teach you so you can do it yourself.
 
I want to thank you brother / sister for you're help and advice it means more to me than you know. I looked it up and it's something called adoption trauma and I tore my self away from both pairs of my family.

I forgot I left a open wound I chosen to close up inside of me and I am basically like a new born . in a sense not knowing who I am outside of what my adopted , birth family made me .

So I know I can ask you all for help when I need it and I can't thank you enough
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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