Blessings be upon you all, dearest SS family.
I dedicated myself to Father Satan, then took a few years before I started meditating seriously. And so my journey with meditation with serious intent began about 2 years ago. Though I do not follow up consistently on meditation because of fear...
I never had any problems with doubt and disbelief of the capabilities of JOS and the powers of the mind and soul, for I am African and deeply rooted in my culture which comes with some "unexplainable" things to a non-SS and one without knowledge. Such as what a traditional healer/doctor can do for someone, depending on what they request.
My problem is fear. At first I thought I feared our beloved Gods and Demons given that when I took meditation seriously for the 1st 3 months, I began to get signs of their presence in my life...which was quite intense and very much blatant to say the least. When they arrive, our dearly beloved, they come with this feeling. I've come to understand that this very feeling is what energy feels like, for I had no idea prior to that. Even my family, who are non-SS, would tell me that I feel funny, and would ask me why I feel this way. I had absolutely no idea what they were on about as I couldn't feel it myself, though it came from me. It was only when the our Gods and Demons began to pay me visits.
I would get sooo afraid instantly, I still do. And I can't control it, the fear just over powers me. And I hate it very much because it is stupid, given that I know for a fact that they come with far more than good intent. I was doing an RTR at night when something came outside of my bedroom and I could sense that it came with bad intensions, there was no mistaking it. Then I felt a massive body of energy land like a nuke in the lounge/TV room. That something-that-came-with-negative-intent left immediately and never dared to come back, ever. The best part is that I didn't even have to ask for help, I was literally protected and felt safe immediately afterwards and continued with the RTR session I was busy with. My proctor even gave me strength, his arrival gave me a lot of inner strength for I knew I am safe and cared for...I felt like I truly do matter, and that I am loved. Other times when I'm meditating, a presence would come in my bedroom and say "they are attacking your mother". There are other things of a very positive nature that I have experienced because of our mighty Gods and Demons that I can't get into as this would be too long...
There is no doubt whatsoever in my mind that they protect me, and that they're there for me, but I fear them. And I have reason to believe that it isn't them that I fear, it's the feel of their energy. I say this because when I started meditating, I felt nothing for the 1st month. Me being impatient and wanting to feel the energy, the began doing the Aura Empowerment Meditation. Within a week, I got the very same energy that I felt which came with the Gods and Demons that pay me visits. I began to fear my own self.
The feel of energy really scares me. And the Gods pay me a visit and want to communicate with me, and I can tell that the being visiting me today is not the one that visited me yesterday and I don't really know how but I feel it and am very certain of it...but they sense my fear and they take off immediately. Even my grandfather who has passed away visits me and then takes off when he senses my fear towards him, and I know for fact that it's him. I want to have a sit down and talk with them soooo very much, I would really love to hear what they have to say to me and receive their guidance in terms of a "physical" interaction, but I fear their presence...that energy.
How do I rid myself off this fear? I read on the JOS website that some people haven't had power for so long and for so many lifetimes that when they do get it, they tend to fear it. HPS Maxine then stated that one must keep meditating until their mind get accustomed to this energy, and the fear will go away. But now I fear meditating because it comes with that very energy buzz, which I fear. I was in such a rush to feel the buzz, but it's more intense than I would've ever imagined. And the Gods and Demons hate it when I don't meditate, they make it very obvious. They're very gentle with me, all of them who have visited me in person and in my dreams, and yet I fear them. I feel so stupid.
Please help me.
sounds like a huuuge responsibility that i cant handle because of my hectic life 
![Voice of Enki [JG]](/data/avatars/m/0/84.jpg?1705131368){kind=avatar}
