no matter how much I try, I can't advance.
First of all, stop thinking that, the more you believe in that the move you will start thinking its real and tuning to it.
I never manifested something.
That is impossible, intend a shower and go do it, done, you manifested your first thing,
Have small things, make them bigger, you can have long term goal, but also have medium and shorter term goals. And farm signs, for example you want to manifest a girlfriend, a girl holds eye contact with you = a sign that your technique is working, do not see it as binary either it works either not, see it as a process. And also do the things that you should do to get there and focus on doing them better.
I can't focus while meditating.
Thats normal
I constantly have the feeling that I'm doing it wrong.
You are doing it perfectly, when you lose focus etc and you bring your focus back, that is meditating, you keep going back again and again and again. The more you do it the less it will happen. Your body also may start wanting to get up and stop meditating, so it does not feel ´pleasant’ this is also normal,
Since you are conditioning yourself, you are doing something new, if you spend 3min like this, then its perfect, most important thing is to keep going back and ignore urges of your body to stop the meditation, the urge to get up when you ignore it you are disciplining yourself.
My mind heavily runs based on logic and science, and sometimes I feel like aall of it pseudoscience even though deep down I still have that faith.
It does not matter, just do the practices, you will know its true, but keep daily, for 5-10min either reading testomonials, or things that prove this is real, keep this going daily.
I had so much doubts I literally tried to move out of zevism and read some texts and stuff and the next day I was crying because I didn't mean anything and I felt like I committed an unforgettable thing and I'm gonna be banished from zevism or something.
Try a Summoning, and if you know your guardian God, talk to him about this, it will form a relation between you and you will start feeling closer to him/her.
I still have that heavy guilt for that one emotional action.
Guilt by the way is one of the worst feelings one can feel, drop it completely. Ask for forgiveness if you feel you should, and drop instantly the guilt. Never keep carrying the guilt around.
And all the time, always, I just want a way to communicate with gods. I need signs. Signs that they are not mad at me. I don't know. I feel so bad.
Do a summoning, or do the God rituals, it will be pleasant, you will know everything is okay
I feel like a bad follower/worshipper.
You are manifesting being a bad person, no wonder you feel there is a sabotage, you are doing it, reverse this, start being grateful and happy that you are a good Zevist, and feel like it. You clearly are a good person.
I feel so bad that so many times I tried to gain things for myself instead putting most of my energy for him. But I could never quite get anything through manifestation so I guess even if I tried to commit my energy to him it would be useless. I can't do anything for myself, how can I do something for him?
Who?
I feel so powerless and insignificant.
Meditate, do the techniques, focus your mind on good things, do affirmations, if you keep feeling insignificant and powerless you are actively manifesting it.
The fact that there are so many ways yet I seem like to be failing is driving me crazy. I can't do anything properly.
You are constantly affirming opposite of what you want, try just for 40 days to flip that, the difference will be big, try to monitor your thinking and feelings, i do not say feel bliss, but try to get little better each day.
I even feel bad because a week ago I was again questioning everything because I was literally thinking that the gods couldn't possibly have chromosomes, so how do they even exist? How do they have genders?
I need clarity. Clarity on everything. On a path. On deities.
You will learn more by practice rather by theory, so rituals, do summonings, and read ToZ, experiences will teach you more
Sorry to write such a long post. But I couldn't keep these to myself. I really, really love and adore Zeus. I was drawn to him from the beginning. I used to write beautiful pieces for him. But all the time. Never I saw a sign.
I do not know what you expect the signs will be, but those usually are subtle, you should be aware and constantly try to detect them, and then you will start bit by bit detecting them, also read members experiences, it will program your mind to detect those when they happen
And I never advanced. I did some basic meditations but I got lost. I feel like no one hears me.
Why you want someone to hear you? Just do the practices and keep improving, its more about your improvement rather than seing a sign, do not see the path in passive way, be active.
Even writing this text, I'm crying and shaking.
Continue crying do not hold back, until you finish, you will feel better.
I just want to be perfect for gods. I feel like I've made too much mistakes and neglected too much to be able to be good now.
Thats false, the fact you are too emotional means you can do pretty good in the path.
I don't even know where or how to start.
Take a shower, cook some beautiful food, eat, have a small meditation, start doing the 40 days program,
Start thinking better thoughts and feeling better feelings, stop inflicting self damage,
Next time you want to say something that intense to Gods, do a summoning, for example of God Zeus, it will be way better than posting in forum, you will be also learning to do summonings, and also learning to do visualisation.
So this will be channeled into making you advance more
There are so many things. So many meditations. So many rituals.
I used to think that about meditation, when i started i found i was overthinking,
Start with 40 days program, its very small program, do you have it ? If not , ask about it and a member will give you the link to it
Of course I can not do rituals. Because I can't even properly use my energy.
No thats a mistake, just go for it, do the ritual, the fact you are too emotional i believe you will feel yourself tuning to Gods, anyway whether you feel or not, just do it, with openness. Try to experiment, do not keep being passive.
It would be useless and just add to the huge stack of mistakes I had.
It is not only okay but very good to start doing rituals, even if you do mistakes. You will do many of them anyway, same as all members. Just start and keep practicing.
Always there is this "how can I be sure" thing for me. As I said my mind operates in a very logical way.
So for example when I constantly apologize for having doubts or wierd thoughts like the ones about their chromosomes, even though I know Zeus is forgiving, yet I still think how can I be sure I'm forgiven?
How can I be sure that he is not mad now?
How can I be sure I won't be punished or something?
Do Summoning and Rituals
If there was only a way to be able to communicate with him...I'd try. I'd try and try to reach that point. At this point only directly communicating with him could ease all of these.
When you will do summonings and rituals it will help a lot with what you are saying here. Since the experiences will be pleasant.
The Gods see your true intention, its not like a human who will judge based on the surface. I did bigger mistakes than yours by the way, and everything is ok, because i never had bad intentions. Same way you have no bad intention.
In fact in Zevism its not a problem if you doubt, in opposite of religions when you never get a sense of reality of the Gods, in Zevism it will happen, just a matter of time, you will know they are real. And its normal that your faith will get better bit by bit, just keep practicing.
