Leaving

[High Priest Zevios Metathronos]

Just a Lil update...I'm still alive technically and physically safe, not homeless or in an institution, and I've stayed away from painkillers for over 3 weeks, although I take prescribed suboxone, will switch to the shot then get off that later. Just still in a lot of pain, very sick and confused. The pain and mental shit I numbed with drugs is coming up and it sucks, sometimes it hurts to move, breathe, or think. I've had multiple experienced addicts tell me that 7oh withdrawal is the worst painkiller withdrawal, even worse than fentanyl. I still feel like toasted shit and my life is beyond fucked, but at least I'm alive. Please listen to the Temple and be smart about drugs, I thought I was smart but I got a major spanking from Fate.

Also it's definitely not a priority at all, but if it's easy and a mod has a sec I might want 2 change my username to something less edgy lol. But it's not a big deal sorry for bother

Give yourself at least 3 months because of this. Just remember THIS WILL PASS, you will not be there forever, as you granted yourself freedom. Now it's happening and you are on the way. What you experience is physical healing, not pain. This is how the body addresses the previous state, until it can enter a new one. You will be fine; even extreme cases recover up to 100% and get their life and extra back.

im also a former addict trying to heal

Feel free if you want to anonymously or however, share details, so you we can help. The key word is not to see yourself as former addict, but a recovering man. You will be 100% on your strong feet also. Just give yourself time and don't waiver.

It's honestly not even worth it to go down this spiral; there is no solace or peace in this. What you seek is peace and strength. This is in the other way from what you left behind. Walk brother, the Community is here so whatever comes, do share and remember there are real people standing with you also.

 

[Kingfisher]

Give yourself at least 3 months because of this. Just remember THIS WILL PASS, you will not be there forever, as you granted yourself freedom. Now it's happening and you are on the way. What you experience is physical healing, not pain. This is how the body addresses the previous state, until it can enter a new one. You will be fine; even extreme cases recover up to 100% and get their life and extra back.



Feel free if you want to anonymously or however, share details, so you we can help. The key word is not to see yourself as former addict, but a recovering man. You will be 100% on your strong feet also. Just give yourself time and don't waiver.

It's honestly not even worth it to go down this spiral; there is no solace or peace in this. What you seek is peace and strength. This is in the other way from what you left behind. Walk brother, the Community is here so whatever comes, do share and remember there are real people standing with you also.

Thank you very much High Priest, for your kindness and everything you do. I wouldn't have expected to grow in such a way given my past, but the evolved understanding and recent clarifications make perfect sense to me. I know I messed up, but I still remember your kindness and wisdom, and I look back on when I supported the Temple with fondness, I want to work as hard as I can to get back on my feet so I can give back, for all I've been given.

Thank you to you all for your support. And for any other Zevist struggling, there is hope on this Path.

 

[Kingfisher]

I am trying to hack this sobriety thing, but i am so fucking depressed and negative all the time that i don't even feel like living. I hate that i was born an ugly male cumskin nobody wants. I wish i could be something beautiful. I should have been born a cute Japanese anime schoolgirl, but instead i have to live life as an ugly piece of filth. I think males in general [mainstream society, outside of the Temple] are just ugly, weak bullies and rapists, and i will always hate that i was born a mistake.

The one reason i have for living is to support the Temple, but i am afraid ill never be able to do that again due to my financial destitution and lack of a job. I have no skills and am an unlikable retard. My 4 older siblings all have advanced degrees and good jobs, they sucked up all the good genes. I got my family's ugly and autistic genes, but not the smarts. The only reason I was born is that my parents are traditional catholics and don't believe in birth control. They already had 4 good children, but years later they were horny (or maybe I'm a rape baby, idk), and thus i was born since condoms are verboten.

 

[Aquarius]

I am trying to hack this sobriety thing, but i am so fucking depressed and negative all the time that i don't even feel like living. I hate that i was born an ugly male cumskin nobody wants. I wish i could be something beautiful. I should have been born a cute Japanese anime schoolgirl, but instead i have to live life as an ugly piece of filth. I think males in general [mainstream society, outside of the Temple] are just ugly, weak bullies and rapists, and i will always hate that i was born a mistake.

The one reason i have for living is to support the Temple, but i am afraid ill never be able to do that again due to my financial destitution and lack of a job. I have no skills and am an unlikable retard. My 4 older siblings all have advanced degrees and good jobs, they sucked up all the good genes. I got my family's ugly and autistic genes, but not the smarts. The only reason I was born is that my parents are traditional catholics and don't believe in birth control. They already had 4 good children, but years later they were horny (or maybe I'm a rape baby, idk), and thus i was born since condoms are verboten.

That's retarded, you are here and have the possibility of turning your life around hundred fold. If you keep saying you're a retard that's gonna manifest, so stop saying it. You can become much more than your brothers.

I was the family's black sheep too, my life turned around and I'm better than them all. Don't feel discouraged, 1 step at a time is what it takes.

 

[Aquarius]

I just said "that's retarded" giving good advice to a guy that calls himself a retard. Fml

 

[Kingfisher]

I just said "that's retarded" giving good advice to a guy that calls himself a retard. Fml

Sorry for sperging out, I'm just super depressed and sleep deprived. I'm not giving up, but unfortunately this is just a super difficult part of my life. But I recently resumed meditation and study, I may add to it soon. Idk if anything will work out in the end, but I guess I need to try

 

[Kingfisher]

Sorry, I'm not quitting, just super depressed over my financial situation, which by itself could push someone to the edge, plus I'm dealing with all these other issues. I know it takes time and strength is required, but it's disheartening to feel tired and sick for so long.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I just said "that's retarded" giving good advice to a guy that calls himself a retard. Fml

Retarded is sometimes a choice of mindset. It is choosing to do the wrong thing when you know what is the right thing. "Retarded" literally means when something is being limited, slowed down, or held back to be worse than it is supposed to be. So people can choose to be retarded by choosing to not do the work that they know they should do.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

I am trying to hack this sobriety thing, but i am so fucking depressed and negative all the time that i don't even feel like living. I hate that i was born an ugly male cumskin nobody wants. I wish i could be something beautiful. I should have been born a cute Japanese anime schoolgirl, but instead i have to live life as an ugly piece of filth. I think males in general [mainstream society, outside of the Temple] are just ugly, weak bullies and rapists, and i will always hate that i was born a mistake.

The one reason i have for living is to support the Temple, but i am afraid ill never be able to do that again due to my financial destitution and lack of a job. I have no skills and am an unlikable retard. My 4 older siblings all have advanced degrees and good jobs, they sucked up all the good genes. I got my family's ugly and autistic genes, but not the smarts. The only reason I was born is that my parents are traditional catholics and don't believe in birth control. They already had 4 good children, but years later they were horny (or maybe I'm a rape baby, idk), and thus i was born since condoms are verboten.

There used to be a guy here who I hope is still here and just has a different name now. He had multiple names before, and at the time of the story I am going to tell I think his name was Grey1234567890. English was not his main language, and this caused some misunderstandings to happen. One of these times he gave me the funniest insult that I have ever heard. He told me "You are just a worm that is pretending to be a snake."


Well now you are being a snake that is pretending to be a worm. You might be an old or sick or unhealthy snake, but you are still a snake and you are still alive to continue working on healing yourself. You are not a worm in the dirt.

 

[Henu the Great]

Sorry, I'm not quitting, just super depressed over my financial situation, which by itself could push someone to the edge, plus I'm dealing with all these other issues. I know it takes time and strength is required, but it's disheartening to feel tired and sick for so long.

Everyone has issues, to some extent or another. And let me assure you, having financial hardship or serious addiction issues is not the worst, nor is it something insurmountable. Life is precious, carry on.