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Other #77466 Can you help me?

'Bloodlust' and all those things are your manifestations of base chakra. You don't like the condition you're in so it pushes you to do action, mental-wise you understand this by what you told above.

Think how to use this drive to become successful. Have a proper routine, do physical exercise, continue applying to jobs. Stabilise yourself and clean your aura. Do AoP every day.

Women are loyal to you seeing it is YOU who achieved this, not some money or security that fell from the sky.
 
You can only become truly rich by nurturing the one who provides your source: your soul. Phrases like "the world is cruel", "the world is wild jungle" and similar platitude are meaningless; they won't solve your problems. Get your world in order so that you can see the external world through your own world. The issues you've outlined can be addressed and restored through meditation/magic.

Ave Zeus!
 
violence feel like happyness, only thing that makes sense.
Man, I feel a bit worried for you, even if I do not know you - but I seem to know the schemes your mind is going through.

First thing I want to tell you : do not feel guilty, or the cause of your problems. It is, that problems are somehow inside you, like a virus is inside a computer but... the problem is not the computer itself. So you may need to fix some damages in your Soul, leading to problems, but it's not you the problem. Forget this.
It's not your fault.
Second, I see many red flags for abuse, violence or mistreatment you may have suffered : the mind is able to delete and suppress conscious memories of this. So you may not remember the facts, but emotional memories are alive, they are stores in some areas of the brain, like Amigdala gland and the such.

In short, perceiving the violence is "good" may originate from violence you had to endure, possibly from caregivers. If a child is suffering violence, his mind may slowly be programmed to think that violence is the only form of love, because people who are supposed to give love and care (caregivers) give violence instead, mixed with sporadic "love". So the two concepts blend, and the kid grows with the inner idea that violence = love, or at least is a form to force love or affection, like you do.
When you wonder to tie, brainwash, and subdue a woman, you seem applying the basic treatment an abused child received. This is a huge red flag in your words.

So you are probably not schizophrenic, but you may have PTSD that leads to personality split instead. It's like there are other "selves" in you, buried and with a sort of will and thinking ability, leading to thoughts you do not recognize as "your" because you always repressed those ideas, to avoid confronting past suffering. Those selves may sometimes take over your thinking process, especially when you main self (ego) is low, like in case you are jobless and feel down.

It seems, this is coming to the surface now, to the conscious memory. This may bring back past memories and painful experiences you did not remember before.
If this is the case (I say "if" but it seems pretty evident to me), be strong and prepared to face facts you did not want to remember, flashbacks, emotional outbursts. Nothing your GD cannot handle : they can stop the flood of memories, in case they are too painful. I know this by direct experience.

I can relate much of this because I have this in myself, I experienced and lived those fact, and I still am.
But I can't know you in deep, so I always and strongly suggest to question your Guardian Demon, asking for an explicit and clear answer - if you suffered heavy traumas or abuse, leading to this situation.
If the answer is "yes" you will need to ask for guidance step by step through a Demon, to heal the wounds, slowly and firmly. Only the Demons may read in your mind and know the details, so they can guide you to life experiences that will heal the wounds, even if you still do not remember - a Demon knows.

Plus, of course, intense meditation, cleaning and reprogramming in parallel. I think you know what to do here, but you may not know how to behave in practical life, that your GD will show you - as he did with me.

If you suffered heavy traumas, I express my emotional support to you. I know what it means. You are not alone in this. Never.
Don't feel trapped or hopeless, as this often comes from a wounded self feeling this way, inside you.
 
I just forgot, whatever happened to you, or you remember, etc. feel free to share on here or to me if you wish.
Being listened and understood is priceless here, and I will do that if you wish.
 
First of all with such symptoms you should realize that you are obliged to visit a doctor and undergo treatment, no one should be put in danger because of your sick head.

In the second place - the girl has nothing to do with it, many people are not loyal and with a man not for his own sake, but for the sake of what he extracts or has by birthright as material goods. But not all, I personally had girls that even helped me financially, or in any other way. It's not a wild jungle, people have empathy and sympathy, if we didn't have it, we would have died as a species long ago.

My opinion you need not a job to begin with, but treatment for the desire for “blood” and thoughts of “murder and rape” if this is of course the real truth and not emotionally written nonsense.
 
First of all with such symptoms you should realize that you are obliged to visit a doctor and undergo treatment, no one should be put in danger because of your sick head.

In the second place - the girl has nothing to do with it, many people are not loyal and with a man not for his own sake, but for the sake of what he extracts or has by birthright as material goods. But not all, I personally had girls that even helped me financially, or in any other way. It's not a wild jungle, people have empathy and sympathy, if we didn't have it, we would have died as a species long ago.

My opinion you need not a job to begin with, but treatment for the desire for “blood” and thoughts of “murder and rape” if this is of course the real truth and not emotionally written nonsense.
Definitley do not be kidnapping women lol, mental yes.
 

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