i was raised catholic read the king james bible but got more into christian mysticism read the nag hammadi read the appocrypha the lost books of the bible and forgotten books of eden but i did not feel anything so i turned to nordic paganism and i read and posess 2 different book of runes but after a while left it as well then i dove into science and alchemy but was still not satisfied so i went forth to the golden dawn and the necronomicon but after getting scaed out of my wits i left so i went forth to laveyan satanism but after learning that they worship themselves and not satan i turned to theistic satanism but i turned from it as well so i dove back into christian mysticism but i keep being led back to the lightbringer(ie satan) why is this can anyone enlighten me as to what the truth is?