The Art of Communication
Communication is a primary human need, are you sure you're doing it the right way?
I really enjoyed @High Priestess Lydia ’s post on communication skills, and in agreement with Her, I decided to explore the topic further. This is an introductory post on the topic, since it’s a very complex subject.
Brief introduction
For years, I have held positions that required strong communication skills and achieved great results thanks to my communication skills. I’ve gone on to train and manage teams, helping them improve their communication skills. I’m grateful to be able to share what I’ve learned with you here.
Building bridges
To begin, I want you to visualize the word "communication": imagine yourself building a bridge to reach someone on the other side of a river so you can speak with them. No, I haven’t lost my mind; let me explain why.
The word "communication" comes from the Latin communis, which means "to make common" or "to share". It isn't just a transfer of information; it is the act of building a bridge between two or more people. In this sense, we are all creators.
We often think that communicating is just about talking, but the psychology of communication teaches us otherwise. "One cannot not communicate." Even silence, a rigid posture, or looking away sends a specific message. To analyze how we communicate, we must divide the message into three main channels: Verbal, Paraverbal, and Non-Verbal.
1. Verbal Communication: The "What" We Say
Verbal communication involves the use of words, whether written or spoken.- Nature: It is the logical and rational channel, governed by rules of syntax and grammar.
- Function: It serves to transmit data, complex concepts, instructions, and logical arguments.
- Characteristics: This is our most conscious form of communication. We choose our words carefully to be precise, think of a university exam or a job interview.
2. Paraverbal Communication: The "How" We Say It
Paraverbal communication is the bridge between content and emotion. It covers everything involving the voice, excluding the literal meaning of the words. Key elements include:- Tone: Expresses authority, sweetness, sarcasm, or doubt. A phrase like "Great job" changes completely depending on whether it's sincere or sarcastic.
- Pitch/Timbre: The unique "color" of your voice.
- Volume: Speaking too loudly can seem aggressive, while speaking too softly may signal shyness or insecurity.
- Rhythm: A fast pace conveys anxiety or excitement; a slow pace denotes calm or, if excessive, boredom.
- Pauses: Pauses are not "empty space" but tools of power. As Mark Twain said: "The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause".
3. Non-Verbal Communication: The "Body" That Speaks
Non-verbal language is the most powerful channel and, paradoxically, the one we have the least conscious control over. It includes everything we do with our bodies:- Facial Expressions: The face reflects primary emotions like anger, fear, joy, sadness, contempt, and surprise. Eye contact is crucial; it creates connection, while avoiding it can signal discomfort or dishonesty.
- Gestures: Our hands emphasize our words. "Open" gestures (showing your palms) communicate honesty, while "closed" gestures or hands in pockets can signal defensiveness.
- Posture: How we sit or stand communicates our status or emotional state. An upright posture conveys confidence, while slumped shoulders suggest submission or fatigue.
- Appearance: How we present ourselves is a non-verbal message about our identity and respect for the context. The saying “You can't judge a book by its cover” is not entirely true , because people will judge you on first impressions, so dressing well matters.
Learning to communicate is not about manipulating others; it is about becoming aware of the signals we send. A great communicator aligns what they think (verbal) with what they feel (paraverbal) and what they show (non-verbal).
I hope this has been useful and encourages you to dive deeper into the subject. If you're interested, I can break down these aspects in a series of future posts. Let me know what you think!
— Edward666
