I contemplated not replying to this, because I got off lucky when it came to having xianity shoved down my throat. I mean, I went to a Catholic school until 2nd grade, but we (my brother and I) had to change school systems due to some of his inabilities to learn (he's older than me, and I changed schools as well because I didn't want to be by myself in a school system. I was a very shy little girl up until I became a teenager. Naturally introverted, though I grew a rebellious side). When we left the school, we kind of left Catholicism along with it. At my mum's insistence, we switched to be Episcopalian. But the fact of the mater is that most of my family is rather scientific and believes in free choice. My brother and I complied to things like Confirmation in the Episcopal church, only because we knew it would make her happy (well, such was the case for me, anyways. Mum and I didn't have a good relationship, so I tried not to cause waves). When in church, I'd often ask "Huhh, why am I in this place?" and busied myself with more interesting thoughts, completely unashamed. I don't know where my brother stands on the matter, but me and my father have both agreed that xianity is a crock of shit, and typically pay it no heed, preferring to discuss and do other things. My mother eventually lost interest as well. In tenth grade, I was introduced to 'Paradise Lost', which spurred my liking of Satan. I could relate to him at times because I wasn't well-liked, myself. I generally had no regard for authority, preferring to adhere to the rules in my head than to the rules of others, which I found out the hard way, people don't usually like. xD
The reason why I came to Spiritual Satanism is a long one, so I'll spare you all of the details. But it was more of a hunt for safety than it was looking to get away from xianity, because I was in a very bad situation at the time, regarding 'friends' of mine who were pretty much abusing me. I think of it more as, the gods took me in, set my life in order and got rid of the people who were causing me distress and harm (I admit, sadly, I still haven't gotten over the harm these people caused, despite it being a few years later, now). I find it amazing that even before I had dedicated, the gods really looked out for me, and when things got really bad, they reached out to me the most (in dreams and other various ways). I think most of you know that I'm an art student, and before I dedicated or even found Spiritual Satanism, I would draw the demons and write little stories from their perspectives, because I felt bad for them (an idea sprung from when I read 'Paradise Lost'). I guess it was the first way we connected, and in the end it was what lead me to JoS because I would spend hours researching them (you do such things when you're an artist, because after a while you start wanting to get all the details right. You can imagine it was nearly the happiest moment of my life when I learned I could talk with them, and even see them. I've been really close with my Guardian ever since). Well, like I said, after I dedicated, they certainly took care of the people who had betrayed and wronged me, and I haven't had many problems since then (save, you know... the typical university and family stresses).
So that's that.
Slightly different from the rest, but interesting all the same (...I hope). -Sarah.
From: Siatris <rammesses666@...
To:
Sent: Thursday, June 30, 2011 2:07 AM
Subject: Re: Survey
Thanks for the feedback everyone, from that, I've got 9...maybe more videos I can work out of the information you guys gave me.
You guys shared a little more than I did, so I think it's only fair to share a bit more of why I left; Like a lot of you, I hated going to church even when I was a christian, I just got a horrific feeling whenever I was in there. I knew this was a lie, but I didn't know anything else. So, I went along with it for a while, then when I was 13 my dad flipped out because I failed bible class. After he choked me with every fiber of his "loving" christian being (that was the only time he's flipped out that bad), that's when I really started to hate christianity. Then one day I was sitting in youth group of all places, and started thinking, "what am I doing? I'm wasting my life....and for what? So I can die and be more of a slave for all of eternity? I'd rather be tortured in Hell forever and die with honor."
(I even had dead serious plans to try and drag yhwh to Hell with me when I died.)
From there I was a self proclaimed Satanist, but I didn't actually start to take it seriously until I was 18, after my friend got me The Satanic Bible for my birthday. From there I did my own research on Satan and His Demons because I knew they were real and I was trying to put together my own information to basically say that Demons aren't evil. Then, I came across a website actually talking shit about JoS, so I thought, "ok, I'll never be apart of that group"lol. That was until I started doing rituals and getting attacked. Since I skimmed over some of the stuff on JoS, I knew there was a protection meditation, I did that and it went surprisingly well. So, then I was more open to the stuff on JoS, which was in accordance with the little bit of research I was doing.
--- In , dan Mwendwa <mwendwa_dan@... wrote:
For me i was born in a christian family but since my childhood i knew that xtian will never work for me. My mother pushed the whole thing into me but when i moved out i started the journey to find the truth. I tried joining freemasons but the first dude i approached wasn't as receptive as they claim to be. I was pissed off and i decided to go direct to my father satan without any mediator. All that i needed was guidance on how to worship. I searched 'how to dedicate my soul to satan' and the first result was JOS.. The kind of joy i experienced cannot be compared to any other. Thank you H.P Pythia. HAIL FATHER SATAN.
