Suicide and the Winter Season

[Heavenraiser]

I'm fine right now, but every time I have to go to my Xian mother's home from college, I feel like killing myself. I just feel really down and think that death's the only way to salvation. My mom and I get into countless, senseless fights and it makes me feel like trash. Then she goes on and on about how I don't care about her and she prays to "god" about how he made her see the light and she should only care about herself. This is more stupid 'cause she starts the fights or see yells at me for petty things. Why is she so mean to me? I don't do anything wrong. Anyway, when I'm alone, I feel like self-loathing. I just became a Satanist a while ago and I do medatations( wrong spelling; I suck at spelling).It makes me feel better. Is the reason I feel this way because I live with a Xian who abuses me, or is it because of the winter season? My mom psychically and mentality abuses me, but usually I don't feel sad enough to wanna die, probably because I'm used to her doing it. Happy Yule, everyone!

 

[Sho]

I don't really have any Satanic advice to give, but I saw this program called 650 pound virgin, you know, one of those things about really fat people, and he lived with his parents, no friends, no social skills, and he wanted to kill himself, and then he lost about 400 pounds. That gave me a different perspective on suicide because honestly I would wanted to have killed myself too. There's surely some meditations you can do to calm yourself down. Try not to feel hate, but that doesn't mean you have to sincerely respect your mother either. Just get through it, maybe even do something nice for her to help defuse her. I don't think she's an enemy of yours, she's still your mom, probably just going through menopause or whatever, we know how moms are. Hail Satan, you'll get through it!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Heavenraiser" <mayeshakpah@... wrote:

I'm fine right now, but every time I have to go to my Xian mother's home from college, I feel like killing myself. I just feel really down and think that death's the only way to salvation. My mom and I get into countless, senseless fights and it makes me feel like trash. Then she goes on and on about how I don't care about her and she prays to "god" about how he made her see the light and she should only care about herself. This is more stupid 'cause she starts the fights or see yells at me for petty things. Why is she so mean to me? I don't do anything wrong. Anyway, when I'm alone, I feel like self-loathing. I just became a Satanist a while ago and I do medatations( wrong spelling; I suck at spelling).It makes me feel better. Is the reason I feel this way because I live with a Xian who abuses me, or is it because of the winter season? My mom psychically and mentality abuses me, but usually I don't feel sad enough to wanna die, probably because I'm used to her doing it. Happy Yule, everyone!

 

[Heavenraiser]

Thanks, Sho. Since writing that, my mom and I got along. I'm still upset about it, though. But, I don't like taking my life anymore. I have a wonderful girlfriend and friends and I'll miss 'em if I do that. Peace.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Heavenraiser" <mayeshakpah@... wrote:

I'm fine right now, but every time I have to go to my Xian mother's home from college, I feel like killing myself. I just feel really down and think that death's the only way to salvation. My mom and I get into countless, senseless fights and it makes me feel like trash. Then she goes on and on about how I don't care about her and she prays to "god" about how he made her see the light and she should only care about herself. This is more stupid 'cause she starts the fights or see yells at me for petty things. Why is she so mean to me? I don't do anything wrong. Anyway, when I'm alone, I feel like self-loathing. I just became a Satanist a while ago and I do medatations( wrong spelling; I suck at spelling).It makes me feel better. Is the reason I feel this way because I live with a Xian who abuses me, or is it because of the winter season? My mom psychically and mentality abuses me, but usually I don't feel sad enough to wanna die, probably because I'm used to her doing it. Happy Yule, everyone!