life in general is never easy.
when i joined the JOS and poked myself with a thumbtack (this is what i used to draw blood for my dedication i did last year) last December i di not know what to expect.
but i can say that:
i did think it would make life easier in some ways but i knew that it would not ultimately solve all my problems in life.
i feel better now that i am an official Zevism. i still a noob at it but an Zevism never the less.
also i might add that sometimes the thought of bettering ourselves in many ways in life (in satanism especially) in tough times in our lives sometimes is the one thing at that time that seems to keep us going and not going crazy if you get my meaning of what i am saying here. i ave had tough times in my life after my dedication but i knew that where i was after the place i got kicked out of i could at least practice meditation during the evenings. sure i had some ineruptions but if i timed it right id know when the interuptions would take place and meditate in between them (its hard to explain trust me). i mean im not phycho nutso or anything but yes the place was a phychiatric type of place. not an asylum but something with the word phychiatric in it. all it was then was somewhere for me to stay until i got the place of living i am at now.
sometimes the though of certain positive things in life are what keeps us going even in tough times is what i am basically trying to say here so sorry if i am rambling.
anyway
to wrap it up ill just say a few more things here:
never give upMEDITATE MEDITATE MEDITATEand most importantly of all remember satan would not want us to give up hope as he never gives up on us.
HAIL SATAN
From: the_fire_starter666 <the_fire_starter666@...
To:
Sent: Saturday, March 10, 2012 12:26 PM
Subject: Re: suicidal thoughts.
Now, now, don't tell me you haven't felt anything. You still said you feel better afterwards and that's the reason you don't kill yourself. You are deprogrammed from enemy lies and their effect on your soul. Of course you shouldn't expect a quick fix in your life and instantly solving all your problems after joining Zevism. This is not how it works, and Satan is not a genie who fixes your life instantly, especially if you only join for that reason. Of course you doubt the entire thing because you expected too much. This is a common mistake. If you look on joining, you should always join without expectations, with your main purpose to be gaining knowledge. Then you REALLY start to see results. It's never too late for that though.
I see people who want to join because they're like "I WANT money/to get my girlfriend/boyfriend back/to make my life instantly better" get dissapointed. No person who is genuinely interested in learning more and advancing their souls does have problems like that.
Read my other post about your problems with meditation.
Just remember to be open and patient. The way you seem to view things is what causes you many problems. Relax and let everything flow, and just do your spiritual practices as if you're doing them for hobby.
--- In , "rayaddams" <rayaddams@... wrote:
my life sucks shit. i live in South Africa, where my race is put last. i have a xian mother, and my brother is the "perfect son". while i am the f*ck up. the first time i thought of suicide was when i was 13, how f*cked up is that.
yeah, i know lots of people have it worse then me, but they are mentally tougher i geuss. i have dedicated my soul to satan, but i havent felt Anything(i feel the same as i did before) i pray to satan every night. my life still gets worse. i am doubting the whole thing. i Try to meditate, but it is SO hard. my mind is ALways thinking about something, always worrying. the Only reason i havent comitted suicide is because i am too much of a pussy. i only put this up, because it feels a bit better afterwards.
