Question #4682: Mental and Spiritual burnout

[Ask Satya Operator]

I've been practicing this path for nearly six years now.
I've been doing an average of 5 hours of meditations every day since dedication (up to 6 and 7 hours daily if I add scheduled warfare).
I still can't void properly, i still can't fall into a trance no matter how hard i try. I feel nothing, I can't feel the gods, still.
I don't even know if my rituals are even helping anyone or anything.
I have a hard time trusting anyone in this community or the people around me.
I do not believe that I have the support that I need. I give my own, regardless.
I still don't know who my guardian demon is.
I already tried to ask for guardian's name and it was a disaster of me just resenting them because they gave up.
Because I've felt this intense resentment because they gave up; I haven't done another standard ritual asking for anything else since because I am scared to reproduce this result.
It also doesn't help that I make it harder for them because i cant see or hear them anyways.
I don't want to feel this anger, I know they care about me, but sometimes that feels hard to believe, despite the numerous signs i've been given.
I'm tired of that doubt, too.
I'm exhausted, and I'm worried I can't do it anymore.

 

[Amar.Utu.k]

Suppose your situation is really as described and you have been meditating for six years.

During this time, you could raise a tremendous amount of psychic power, if you try new power meditations and are regular in your exercises.

But you realise, you have convinced yourself that you are unfit. That's a fatal mistake. You may be stifled by your own mistaken effort.

You should believe that you are growing above yourself, with faith there will only be an opportunity to put strength into realisation.

You should not doubt, doubt is what keeps you locked in failure.

Change the way you think about yourself. Increase your self-esteem.

 

[Head Guardian Blitzkreig]

You could be falsely applying onto the Gods the same feelings of resentment or anger which you may have experienced towards humans in your past, even a past life. Just as a further assumption, as you mention not feeling supported, this could be a Moon problem, which deals with feelings of support, but also sensitivity and relaxation.

In my personal experience when upset, it is not that the Gods have "given up", but it could be that they are waiting for a better time to contact you or give signs.

For you to resolve these feelings, you have to find ways to re-establish the relationships. Regardless of whether you feel resentment or not, ask them for advice on the matter or anything else. When they return your request for help, this creates a memory of being supported, which helps you to resolve underlying feelings of this not occurring. It will take time, but this is the process of creating positivity here.

If the problem is big enough, you should certainly put effort into a working perhaps with Wunjo, or maybe use this ongoing Venus Square, then program this for a positive relationship with the Gods. Even without this, you can also meditate on the sigil of a God and feel their energy in your heart chakra, and this will stimulate feelings of a connection.

All of the above are options of which to progress, because there is certainly a way forward here. Don't feel hopeless or like there is no way forward.

Just briefly, if you are having problems with energy sensitivity, then use Laguz. If you need help with magickal willpower (knowing your rituals do something), then use Eihwaz. If your mind is really out of control, then use Isa, and so on. There are options for you here that you can certainly manifest with your 6 years of training.

 

[AristocraticDragon666]

I've been practicing this path for nearly six years now.
I've been doing an average of 5 hours of meditations every day since dedication (up to 6 and 7 hours daily if I add scheduled warfare).
I still can't void properly, i still can't fall into a trance no matter how hard i try. I feel nothing, I can't feel the gods, still.
I don't even know if my rituals are even helping anyone or anything.
I have a hard time trusting anyone in this community or the people around me.
I do not believe that I have the support that I need. I give my own, regardless.
I still don't know who my guardian demon is.
I already tried to ask for guardian's name and it was a disaster of me just resenting them because they gave up.
Because I've felt this intense resentment because they gave up; I haven't done another standard ritual asking for anything else since because I am scared to reproduce this result.
It also doesn't help that I make it harder for them because i cant see or hear them anyways.
I don't want to feel this anger, I know they care about me, but sometimes that feels hard to believe, despite the numerous signs i've been given.
I'm tired of that doubt, too.
I'm exhausted, and I'm worried I can't do it anymore.

Results come over time, it takes consistency and patience, and over time you will achieve results.

 

[Ex-Translator]

Doing meditations for 6 hours is crazy, for me 3 is the absolute limit.