Question #1254: It was my fault?

[AskSatanOperator]

I suffered many traumas as a child/early adolescence and my mind simply hid many responses to certain actions of mine (because of the traumas). An example was that I was always very afraid of kissing and that hindered me in starting my love life, and I remembered that when I was a child/early teens I was abused by a guy and the way he abused me was by kissing me, I thought that was really cool because I didn't get attention from the boys and getting that from a guy who was older than me at the time was cool (was that my fault? I feel really ashamed of that and I never told anyone). And I always remember things like that out of the blue, and I often remember this kind of thing when I'm talking to my guardian or satan father, I think I remembered this in one of the conversations with them, I don't remember exactly. One of the things was also that, I started to develop very early and my stature was always of a short and petite person, there was nowhere for my body to grow so I got a lot of stretch marks on my buttocks ( I was never fat ), my father used to say constantly that it was ugly and that I should hide it, it grew a huge root in my mind that I still have and I can't have sex or use bikini because I think men will think it's disgusting, as he said. I've read that recognizing a problem is already a big step towards resolving it, but I'm very attached to it and I'm aware.

 

[MiniMe3388]

It can help you:

Emotional Healing Working by Lydia

START: Waning moon in Scorpio, Cancer or Pisces. Never start this working during the void of course moon.

1. Raise your energies: https://archive.fo/nLuwC
2. Vibrate WUNJO (or it’s variations such as VIN) 40 times or 88 times.
3. Affirm 9 times:
“In a positive and healthy manner for me, the energies of [WUNJO or variation of] are totally and completely healing me from any and all psychological, mental and emotional damage and pain forever.”

Do this for 40 days, 80 days or 90 days.

How to pronounce WUNJO and it’s variations: https://mega.nz/#!9Ag1VRLb!1pjN3bkQJVT8RxwaX2rZUmVzTUmHndNUFVMXFwUQwws

Don't blame yourself for anything and good luck!

 

[Karnonnos [TG]]

A person taking advantage by kissing you at a very young age is not your 'fault' but this can be part of a general pattern of feeling out of control with men, suspicion with men and men being abusive, feeling objectified and what your father said also ties into the pattern. With Astrology you would be able to see how all of this manifests in your life.

With Satanism it is not about 'fault', it is about being consciously aware of using Magick and changing what is fated to move past this. Your father or the one who kept kissing you is not all men and their attitudes are not things set in stone, even if it can be very hard to see this. With enough workings you will be able to eventually attract men who aren't like this.

 

[LiliumS]

The fact that you are analyzing yourself and understanding that some of your reactions are responses to the trauma you have suffered is a good sign.

You have two paths ahead, and you should take both, that of energy work to heal and cleanse yourself, and that of psychology therapy. The field of psychological therapy can be mine-strewn. You have to find the right therapist with whom you feel comfortable, or maybe just a few meetings will be enough for you to start some inner work on your own. I don't know you so I can't know if you are able to deal with it.

I understand the attachment you're talking about, there's the fear of facing these issues with someone, and especially the fear of facing yourself. It's something you have to do to move forward, not get stuck, not lose years of life and experiences.

A big hug.

 

[Fufotto]

It isn't your fault, It depends all from another people.you have to accept your self. Be strong and don't worry. The time paste Is erased time.