purpose of life?

[RYAN1]

I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.

 

[dawnXXstar]

Don't worry man, I know exactly what you're going through. When I was 15, I attempted suicide on three different occasions. I'm going to offer you a piece of advice that really helped me out through those tough times, even though it's going to seem really, obnoxiously cliché. It actually came from a psychologist that I had been seeing. She had told me to start writing down all my thoughts, just as a way to vent. Well, I took that idea and modified it a bit. I bought a journal and instead of doing the whole diary thing, whenever I was feeling really depressed I would write a letter to Father Satan (this was back when I wasn't that adept at communicating with the Gods).  I would explain what was going on, what I was feeling, and all of the things I considered to be my failures. I never told any one about it and I kept it hidden at all costs. Well, I found it the other day and read through it. I didn't realize it at the time, but pretty much everything that I had written to him about, he had helped me out with in some way. There was one time I had written about how my family was broke and that I had no way to pay for college, and within a month I had gotten scholarships and I had enough money to pay for my dream school which I'm now attending. My dad's health has never been good, so I wrote about that a lot and asked Father Satan to keep him safe and alive while he was in the hospital, and he would get better within a day or so of me writing that. One of the first things I had written was how I wanted to be a Spiritual Warrior, and now I am, after asking Father to help me find the strength to continue with meditations. I had also asked for a Guardian who would understand me better than anyone else, and he has become my closest friend and another who I can turn to when the going gets rough. Every day I find myself trying to come up with news way to thank Father Satan for everything that he did for me back when my life wasn't that great, and for how he drastically changed my life into what it is now. Though I still have bouts of depression, everyone does, I know that fighting my way through it back then this way and not letting myself give into thoughts of suicide again gave me the strength to deal with whatever will come my way now.I don't know if any of that will help you at all, but at least it's better than me giving a short answer of 'you will get through it eventually'. Those answers never do much good.-Sarah
From: Ryan <platinumsquid93@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, December 16, 2009 10:52:07 PM
Subject: [Teens4Satan] purpose of life?

  I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.

 

[Brittany Yeatman]

hun, i feel the exact same way, i have tried to suicide via overdose, it didnt help. i dont know what the "cure" is. i just know a few things that ive been told. i dont really know what to tell you except... there are other people who know what your going through...

HAILL SATAN!!!

From: Ryan <platinumsquid93@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, 17 December, 2009 4:52:07 PM
Subject: [Teens4Satan] purpose of life?

  I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.



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[David Duku]

lol.yea id take Sarah's advice on this one,she helped me out before when i felt like you did now.Usualy its the energy from meditating that makes you feel that way,or the oposite where your body wants the energy beacause it got use to it. Viod meditation is the best thing to get you feeeling better.About the girl friend part id say ask father for one and state all your needs.Suacide is dumb and you would probly regret it,try working with your gardian, I know its not as easy as its said (i havent met mine yet but we speak though a pendulam and signs,and things get moved in my room if she visited in a dream) just try your best.Write down all your bad feelings then burn them and tell yourself you burning them away.Burn things you want answers to, even just thinking them Father Satan becomes aware of them.Good luck and happy Yule i hope i helped a bit. Hail Father Satan-Enki!!!!

From: dawnXXstar <dawnxxstar@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thu, December 17, 2009 6:44:41 AM
Subject: Re: [Teens4Satan] purpose of life?

  Don't worry man, I know exactly what you're going through. When I was 15, I attempted suicide on three different occasions. I'm going to offer you a piece of advice that really helped me out through those tough times, even though it's going to seem really, obnoxiously cliché.  It actually came from a psychologist that I had been seeing. She had told me to start writing down all my thoughts, just as a way to vent. Well, I took that idea and modified it a bit. I bought a journal and instead of doing the whole diary thing, whenever I was feeling really depressed I would write a letter to Father Satan (this was back when I wasn't that adept at communicating with the Gods).  I would explain what was going on, what I was feeling, and all of the things I considered to be my failures. I never told any one about it and I kept it hidden at all costs. Well, I found it the other day and read through it. I didn't realize it at the time, but pretty much everything that I had written to him about, he had helped me out with in some way. There was one time I had written about how my family was broke and that I had no way to pay for college, and within a month I had gotten scholarships and I had enough money to pay for my dream school which I'm now attending. My dad's health has never been good, so I wrote about that a lot and asked Father Satan to keep him safe and alive while he was in the hospital, and he would get better within a day or so of me writing that. One of the first things I had written was how I wanted to be a Spiritual Warrior, and now I am, after asking Father to help me find the strength to continue with meditations. I had also asked for a Guardian who would understand me better than anyone else, and he has become my closest friend and another who I can turn to when the going gets rough.  Every day I find myself trying to come up with news way to thank Father Satan for everything that he did for me back when my life wasn't that great, and for how he drastically changed my life into what it is now. Though I still have bouts of depression, everyone does, I know that fighting my way through it back then this way and not letting myself give into thoughts of suicide again gave me the strength to deal with whatever will come my way now. I don't know if any of that will help you at all, but at least it's better than me giving a short answer of 'you will get through it eventually'. Those answers never do much good. -Sarah
From: Ryan <platinumsquid93@ yahoo.com
To: Teens4Satan@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Wed, December 16, 2009 10:52:07 PM
Subject: [Teens4Satan] purpose of life?

  I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.

 

[Juquin Gallardo]

try meditating on your base chakra alot.  Thats the one at the bottom of your spine.  It helps with de
pression.  Dont kill yourself.  get some help. maybe medication.  Im serious. good luck. Hail Satan!!!
From: Ryan <platinumsquid93@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, December 16, 2009 9:52:07 PM
Subject: [Teens4Satan] purpose of life?

  I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.

 

[Mekeo]

I understand.true medidtation doesnt work for some but im fifteen.and even someoen my age knows suicide isnt the answer.you drag yourself through the mud,living and thinking your life has no meaning.school seems pointless,you stop caring about your grades,the few friends that are there dont seem to help.I know how you feel,Ive tried suicide once,its not a simple feat,and youll see its not the way to go.do like I did,try and make new friends,find people you can talk to,and make sure their not as depressed or they will drag you down.medication only makes you worse or hyper and most psychiatric help only tells you what you alrady know and tries to pump you full of pills or send you to mental health clinics.find music that hypes you up or excites you,not saddens you like alot of blink 182 and shinedown.I writed and listen to rock when Im down.true when all you can think of is how bad your life is things are hard but look at this.i live in poverty,my grandfather and grandmother just died this year,my other grandfather when I was 9.count the blessing satan has given you.when you start thinking more clearly you can do what I do.look at all the good,lower your expectations slightly to avoid all of the depression and DONT try and kill yourself.use your music.and when you find yourself alone in the dark,you can do what I did when I was younger.create your own astral world,make it everything you can think of.go there when you are sad,and draw what you create if you find it to help.Im here for you if you need me.
Hail Satan!
-Danny G. Loggins.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], Juquin Gallardo <juquin_gallardo@... wrote:

try meditating on your base chakra alot.  Thats the one at the bottom of your spine.  It helps with de
pression.  Dont kill yourself.  get some help. maybe medication.  Im serious. good luck. Hail Satan!!!



________________________________
From: Ryan <platinumsquid93@...
To: [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Sent: Wed, December 16, 2009 9:52:07 PM
Subject: [Teens4Satan] purpose of life?

 
I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since
my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.

 

[Cindy]

I know how you feel also. I feel hopeless at times and lately have been really sad. I know that Satan and his Demons are always here to help us it takes time to develop relationships with them and for some it takes longer. Always know Satan and his Demons love us. Also if you need someone to talk to for anything you can email me at mkcradleofevil271@... I don't have a lot of Satanic friends and would really like someone to talk to.

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Ryan" <platinumsquid93@... wrote:

I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.

 

[psychoanamull666]

Find something to hold on to,fight negative with positive.When i get depressed,i envision a bright modern city at night next to the ocean while im listening to an acoustic song like swing life away by rise against or snuff by slipknot.Its calming and helps me let go.Maybe something like this could help you? Suicide dont work,i tried twice and trust me,there will always be something worth living for,sometimes you just cant see it.Good luck,and dont give up! HAIL SATAN! HAIL THE GODS OF HELL!

 

[Jonathan1]

life is such a beautiful thing filled with amazing things to live for

try cleansing your aura that removes nasty emotions of depression for me and leaves me feeling blissful depression is almost always from a blocked or imblanced or negative energy to find out how to EASILY clean it go to http://www.joyofsatan.com/ and go to the meditations section and read about it it is extremly simple

 

[wikowskylb]

It's things like these that make me feel horrible. Finding myself trying to imagine what it must be like to have to deal with things as such. I hate feeling how others do, being affected by even just hearing something on the news, or just by reading a book. Sometimes it's useful, though. Because then I understand what other people are going through.
Even though I don't know you, and you don't know me; don't kill yourself. I know we'll probably never see each other, but just please don't kill yourself. There are people who will miss you. Don't throw away your life. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll get out of the mess you're in. Maybe you'll get perfect grades, and have many wonderful friends who care for you. Trust me, when you think you have absolutely no one left, things will get better. I can tell that you're going to get help from someone completely unexpected, someone you've never cared for.
Good luck
Hail Satan!

--- In [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], "Ryan" <platinumsquid93@... wrote:

I've been going through some really hard times right now and I've started getting really depressed. Its to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning and my grades in school have dropped from B's to F's. I'm really ashamed to say this but lately I've started considering suicide as an escape. I know its wrong but the thought of it keeps tempting me. I've been dedicated now for exactly a year now and I still haven't had any experiences with Satan or any demons. I feel really frustrated and not sure what to do. I'm now 16 and I only have 2 decent friends and I've never dated or did anything with a girl and I feel so horrible about myself. I try meditating but it only helps for like 5 minutes or so and the depression comes right back. I've been doing a lot of soul searching trying to figure out what am I supposed to do with my life. Magnum Opus is one of my goals but it seems so far off and I doubt if I'm capable of achieving it or not. Since my grandmother died when I was 7 my life has been nothing but loneliness and misery. I'm starting to think that reincarnating and having a fresh start would help a lot. I just wish I could be a normal teenager with people that truly care about me and I try so hard to do that but I can't get anywhere. I feel so lost right now. If anyone has any advice or anything please say something. I didn't know who else to talk to so I came to you guys for guidance. I know this post was really long and thanks to anyone that read the whole thing.