alexengvik
New member
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2003
- Messages
- 0
Well... I performed the ritual to become a Satanist, and just after I was done, I felt a drag downwards in my body, earlier that day, I felt just "pain", without the pain itself, how to put it... I felt that I was "sick" all the time, without being it, I felt like crap constantly, but after the ritual, I felt like all of these feelings were gone, I was "complete". Well, then I went out of my room and to the living room, stayed there for a while to think over what I've just done, but then my mom went up to my room, and immediatly felt something wierd, so she called her "healer" friend. The healer arrived and she requested to speak with me alone, so we went to the kitchen. We sat down on each our side of the table, looking on each other. She wanted to know everything I've done, like she knew what I had done. I told her, because I trust her, known her like a friend, but I didn't quite know that she was a "healer", until recently. She took a glass of saltwater, took up a cross from her pocket and went to my room, she stood behind the door to my room, and then she opened the door and just looked infront of her. She suddenly walked into the room, put the glass of saltwater on my table, and she dipped her hand in the glass and said "Begone in Gods name." and she did this like 10 times or something, didn't really count, and then she asked me to sit down in my chair, about in the middle of the room. Then she gave me her cross, and asked me to hold it up. Then she took her hand and dipped it in the glass of saltwater, and said "Alexander (my name), be cleansed in Gods name." several times. She then asked me, "How do you feel?" and I replied, "I feel lighter, not as heavy as before". And then she said, "Good. You have now been cleansed". Then she said, "I'll let you borrow the cross for 2 days. You shall wear it at all times, even when you sleep."
That is what has happened to me, this was about a day ago. The thing is, right after I got the feeling of being heavy and "pure", I felt a huge sadness over me, and I cried for several seconds. And I went down to the living room very sad in a way, but of course I am able to hide it. Then she arrived.
I'm wondering, is it as I think it is, has she "CLEANSED" me? Did she purge Satan from me? Did she create a great wall between me and Satan? I wanna know exacly what has happened, and I want to know, if it is as I believe, is Satan still with me? Because I tried to like "call" the feeling of heaviness back, by taking of the cross and then leaning my head a little bit down, and closing my eyes and thinking, "Satan, please come to me". But nothing happened, so now I'm worried.
Most of you will probably be thinking, "Why the hell didn't you stop her?". Well... I don't quite know why, but I felt I couldn't stop her in a way, being hold back by a intense force...
Now, I just want you people, the Satanists, to tell me if Satan has left me forever or if he is still there, if he is, then please tell me how I can bring him back. Because I don't want to follow Jesus Christ and God. I want to follow Satan and his demons. So please, help me out here. Please.
That is what has happened to me, this was about a day ago. The thing is, right after I got the feeling of being heavy and "pure", I felt a huge sadness over me, and I cried for several seconds. And I went down to the living room very sad in a way, but of course I am able to hide it. Then she arrived.
I'm wondering, is it as I think it is, has she "CLEANSED" me? Did she purge Satan from me? Did she create a great wall between me and Satan? I wanna know exacly what has happened, and I want to know, if it is as I believe, is Satan still with me? Because I tried to like "call" the feeling of heaviness back, by taking of the cross and then leaning my head a little bit down, and closing my eyes and thinking, "Satan, please come to me". But nothing happened, so now I'm worried.
Most of you will probably be thinking, "Why the hell didn't you stop her?". Well... I don't quite know why, but I felt I couldn't stop her in a way, being hold back by a intense force...
Now, I just want you people, the Satanists, to tell me if Satan has left me forever or if he is still there, if he is, then please tell me how I can bring him back. Because I don't want to follow Jesus Christ and God. I want to follow Satan and his demons. So please, help me out here. Please.