Peculiar...I need information about this? Just wondering.

[miss.sugarlump]

Well, I am not a Satanist currently but I have considered a lot becoming one. I have done many of the meditations with no hatred towards Father Satan, but no love for Father either. I am just not sure whether or not to dedicate yet, just like I wasn't sure to believe or not to in the xian God. I am still agnostic now. However, today I was laying in the sunlight focusing on my chakras and collecting and renewing my aura and chakras' energy when I started feeling like
my heart chakra was like a pool of water
it kept filling up itself and renewing itself
and I imagined myself to be fully how I wanted to be
and I tried to believe wholly that I was floating on clouds in the sky
going to a temple in the clouds far away
i tried to lose myself for a while
and it actually worked i guess
i fell in bliss for a while, and i think i opened my eyes after a while

I couldn't move! I thought in my mind (because I have been reading off of JoS and other similar places)that it must be some psychic being trying to control me. I couldnt get up and I couldnt speak.

In my mind I said help God !(thinking of the xian God) and then I said help Satan!

but I still couldnt get up.

I tried yelling to my parents, but I couldnt move at all.

Then, in my mind I said Lord Satan please let me go, help me.

whatever kept me there released me and I jumped uo onto the couch.

Could it just have been in my mind? or what...


I read something about this at some time here I think...
Do you think it was a sign for me to perform a dedication?
I have been agnostic for quite a while and have not followed a religion.


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