Hello jos community.
I need an advice how to deal with emotions.
I started this journey 4 months ago, full of fear and scepticism and ended up to dedicate my soul and my entire existence to Satan and the great Gods. Before that I was totally prey of my emotions. To deal with that I started to drink, take drugs and smoking. didn't have any friends except some online and my family cannot understand me. tried many times to tell them that what disturb me but anything is good for an excuse. Obviously I ended up to metal hospital, and got some mental illness and mental pills, the famous cure for everything.
Today, I don't assume any drugs. No alcohol, no smoking, no any sort of drugs. Except the love of Satan and the Great Gods. Got a job and train my mind and my body. But still I didn't understand how to deal with my emotions or I forgot how to. My grandmother loosing his mind, talking about her grandma and remember her youth. I think soon her body will cease to live. My grandfather instead is full of anger. I need a way to let off my anger. wanna quit. Wanna go far. And meditate.
As I said I need an advice. I need to understand me and my emotions. I have a second opportunity to live I don't wanna fucked up everything again. Be rude if you need.
