Losing

[L W]

So,  I don't really know where to start. How do you cram years of pain, depression and hatred into an email..? I don't know what exactly I'm looking for,  I just know something has to change so here goes it.
I'm not a simple person. I can't begin to express how imperative it is to understand that.  It's like my brain is firing on all cylinders with 100lbs of nitrous shooting through it, at all times. I feel others emotions,  sometimes stronger than my own. But recently I've been exploring my mind,  to see what I'm capable of and somehow it has lead me to where I'm at now. I can feel power and energy flowing through me,  through the air,  objects. I have been a Satanist for quite some time but haven't made any real progress due to my own negligence. I can also anticipate what others are thinking and quite often I hear what they are going to say moments before they say it.
As an infant/child I was extremely quiet and observant of everything (as I am now). I analyze and inspect everything that catches my interest in detail. 
I don't think anyone has time for me to lay out all the things that have led me to be this horribly broken thing but I will skim over some things.
When I was young my parents divorced which is where it began. That was also the end of my father's love for me. I don't know why but when that happened, it's like he saw me and my sister (who is a total cunt) as liabilities. There was never any guidance or advice, only ever reprimanding or criticism. I think that's also where my depression was born but I don't really know, I've been wishing for death for a very long time now. Honestly there's so much...I just feel so incredibly alone, weak, and the word depression isnt good enough to explain how I feel.  It's like my heart has been baptized in searing hot tar that only provides dread or sadness. I can't go an hour without wanting to die...and it's been that way for a long long time. Please help me get out of this, I can't hold this weight any more, all I want is to feel some shred of relief. I am so beyond weary, my soul feels as though it's wilted and no longer has any strength. I break down in tears multiple times a day and just look in the mirror. I just want to die..


Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

 

[Taol]

Sounds like that is not your only problem. How is the current situation?

As for that fool that would be your father.. Dont you think its time he got set straight?

 

[Seeker SS]

You said you have been an SS for sometime but neglected it.... Did you study the web at all?
Anyways your not the first that has alot of problems so be at easy. 
The weight you have can be subsided when you start empowering your self and that goes to the depression too, cleaning your self and removing links from you also. Doing rtrs also help by focusing all those negative energy at the enemy.
The other thing is that it's sad how it turned out about the divorce, for me sounds like it was a hard break up seen he decided to neglected his daughters.
Anyways that had nothing to do with you or your sister so holding on to it is a problem, sense that brings more negative energy to you which also welcomes the enemys to your doors to effect you more.
As to how open you are. It means you have done empowering in your past life and are more opened. That's why it's important to keep going in this life other wise your just a bag for the enemy.
Another thing you can do is write all your problems out on paper and then burn it, Then replace it positive thoughts. 
Doing the freeing the soul and void to gain control of your mind will help you also.
Understand none is easy sense you feel down but starting somewhere instaid of thinking of the easy way out is what a True SS is about.
Best luckSent from Yahoo Mail on Android

 

[Mage Adept]

You and I have got almost a similar story. Download this PDF: https://www.dropbox.com/s/vuyrhcz45iicw ... 2.pdf?dl=1 There is a meditation posted as Returning Curses part 1 &2.Perform them seriously,take your time with the sun on your body (e.g when you move it around your head,give it 5 minutes or so,then move it down to your throat-5 minutes or so) When you clean your soul,you should feel better,more free.Good luck.
--
Sent from Outlook Email App for Android Friday, 18 May 2018, 11:23pm +03:00 from L W serpentrising666@... [JoyofSatan666] [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]:

<base/>   So,  I don't really know where to start. How do you cram years of pain, depression and hatred into an email..? I don't know what exactly I'm looking for,  I just know something has to change so here goes it.
I'm not a simple person. I can't begin to express how imperative it is to understand that.  It's like my brain is firing on all cylinders with 100lbs of nitrous shooting through it, at all times. I feel others emotions,  sometimes stronger than my own. But recently I've been exploring my mind,  to see what I'm capable of and somehow it has lead me to where I'm at now. I can feel power and energy flowing through me,  through the air,  objects. I have been a Satanist for quite some time but haven't made any real progress due to my own negligence. I can also anticipate what others are thinking and quite often I hear what they are going to say moments before they say it.
As an infant/child I was extremely quiet and observant of everything (as I am now). I analyze and inspect everything that catches my interest in detail. 
I don't think anyone has time for me to lay out all the things that have led me to be this horribly broken thing but I will skim over some things.
When I was young my parents divorced which is where it began. That was also the end of my father's love for me. I don't know why but when that happened, it's like he saw me and my sister (who is a total cunt) as liabilities. There was never any guidance or advice, only ever reprimanding or criticism. I think that's also where my depression was born but I don't really know, I've been wishing for death for a very long time now. Honestly there's so much...I just feel so incredibly alone, weak, and the word depression isnt good enough to explain how I feel.  It's like my heart has been baptized in searing hot tar that only provides dread or sadness. I can't go an hour without wanting to die...and it's been that way for a long long time. Please help me get out of this, I can't hold this weight any more, all I want is to feel some shred of relief. I am so beyond weary, my soul feels as though it's wilted and no longer has any strength. I break down in tears multiple times a day and just look in the mirror. I just want to die..


<a rel="nofollow" [/IMG]Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android <base/>

 

[[email protected]]

The enemy is obviously attacking you because it is afraid of you. Although, the enemy is not behind all things. You have to do some Soul searching on what is the enemy and what is not.

Asking Satan for help is a good idea. Another good idea is to start the SURYA. This over a period of time will clear out a lot of the pollution in your Soul. Each chakra has a different resonance and corresponds to a different thing. You could also meditate on your chakras to identify the problem.

I wish you could start a Wunjo runic working like I did. I did it for a year straight to clear out the bullshit. Your obviously a powerful Satanist why not do something worthwhile with your life instead of letting the enemy win.

Now is a good time to start the SURYA as there's a waxing moon. Make sure to avoid the void of course moon. A good website to find out about the moon activities is to use this website www.lunarium.co.uk.

Value the gift that Satan gave you.

 

[L W]

Thank you guys for the support. I was in a wall state when I wrote that email out and deleted it shortly after.My journey with Satan has been a very interesting one and I know he is with me.
My motivation has been reborn and I have been going through tree PDF you sent to me, what a great compilation of information I will stay strong and follow father.
Thank you brothers and sisters.
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Wed, May 23, 2018 at 7:53 PM, Mage Adept mage.adept@... [JoyofSatan666]<[email protected] wrote:   You and I have got almost a similar story. Download this PDF: https://www.dropbox.com/s/vuyrhcz45iicw ... 2.pdf?dl=1 There is a meditation posted as Returning Curses part 1 &2.Perform them seriously,take your time with the sun on your body (e.g when you move it around your head,give it 5 minutes or so,then move it down to your throat-5 minutes or so) When you clean your soul,you should feel better,more free.Good luck.
--
Sent from Outlook Email App for Android Friday, 18 May 2018, 11:23pm +03:00 from L W serpentrising666@... [JoyofSatan666] [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]:

  So,  I don't really know where to start. How do you cram years of pain, depression and hatred into an email...? I don't know what exactly I'm looking for,  I just know something has to change so here goes it.
I'm not a simple person. I can't begin to express how imperative it is to understand that.  It's like my brain is firing on all cylinders with 100lbs of nitrous shooting through it, at all times. I feel others emotions,  sometimes stronger than my own. But recently I've been exploring my mind,  to see what I'm capable of and somehow it has lead me to where I'm at now. I can feel power and energy flowing through me,  through the air,  objects.. I have been a Satanist for quite some time but haven't made any real progress due to my own negligence. I can also anticipate what others are thinking and quite often I hear what they are going to say moments before they say it.
As an infant/child I was extremely quiet and observant of everything (as I am now). I analyze and inspect everything that catches my interest in detail. 
I don't think anyone has time for me to lay out all the things that have led me to be this horribly broken thing but I will skim over some things..
When I was young my parents divorced which is where it began. That was also the end of my father's love for me. I don't know why but when that happened, it's like he saw me and my sister (who is a total cunt) as liabilities. There was never any guidance or advice, only ever reprimanding or criticism. I think that's also where my depression was born but I don't really know, I've been wishing for death for a very long time now. Honestly there's so much...I just feel so incredibly alone, weak, and the word depression isnt good enough to explain how I feel.  It's like my heart has been baptized in searing hot tar that only provides dread or sadness. I can't go an hour without wanting to die...and it's been that way for a long long time. Please help me get out of this, I can't hold this weight any more, all I want is to feel some shred of relief. I am so beyond weary, my soul feels as though it's wilted and no longer has any strength. I break down in tears multiple times a day and just look in the mirror. I just want to die..


Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

 

[Allison Passino]

Satan loves you! You are one of HIS treasures! I hope that you know
this! Give this burden to him, he will take it from you, if you are
sincere in your desire to be free. Do not despair! Know that Satan is
always there for you. The man who helped gave you birth is no longer
your father; you have a new Father, and his name IS Satan! Satan is
the One Who Transforms! Be at peace, I pray!

On 5/26/18, L W serpentrising666@... [JoyofSatan666]
<[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:

Thank you guys for the support. I was in a wall state when I wrote that
email out and deleted it shortly after.My journey with Satan has been a very
interesting one and I know he is with me.
My motivation has been reborn and I have been going through tree PDF you
sent to me, what a great compilation of information I will stay strong and
follow father.
Thank you brothers and sisters.
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

On Wed, May 23, 2018 at 7:53 PM, Mage Adept mage.adept@...
[JoyofSatan666]<[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url] wrote:


You and I have got almost a similar story.

Download this PDF:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/vuyrhcz45iicw ... 2.pdf?dl=1

There is a meditation posted as Returning Curses part 1 &2.Perform them
seriously,take your time with the sun on your body (e...g when you move it
around your head,give it 5 minutes or so,then move it down to your throat-5
minutes or so)

When you clean your soul,you should feel better,more free.Good luck.
--
Sent from Outlook Email App for Android
Friday, 18 May 2018, 11:23pm +03:00 from L W serpentrising666@...
[JoyofSatan666] [url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]:



So,  I don't really know where to start. How do you cram years of pain,
depression and hatred into an email..?
I don't know what exactly I'm looking for,  I just know something has to
change so here goes it.
I'm not a simple person. I can't begin to express how imperative it is to
understand that.  It's like my brain is firing on all cylinders with 100lbs
of nitrous shooting through it, at all times. I feel others emotions,
sometimes stronger than my own. But recently I've been exploring my mind,
to see what I'm capable of and somehow it has lead me to where I'm at now. I
can feel power and energy flowing through me,  through the air,  objects. I
have been a Satanist for quite some time but haven't made any real progress
due to my own negligence. I can also anticipate what others are thinking and
quite often I hear what they are going to say moments before they say it.
As an infant/child I was extremely quiet and observant of everything (as I
am now). I analyze and inspect everything that catches my interest in
detail.
I don't think anyone has time for me to lay out all the things that have led
me to be this horribly broken thing but I will skim over some things.
When I was young my parents divorced which is where it began. That was also
the end of my father's love for me. I don't know why but when that happened,
it's like he saw me and my sister (who is a total cunt) as liabilities.
There was never any guidance or advice, only ever reprimanding or criticism.
I think that's also where my depression was born but I don't really know,
I've been wishing for death for a very long time now. Honestly there's so
much...I just feel so incredibly alone, weak, and the word depression isnt
good enough to explain how I feel.  It's like my heart has been baptized in
searing hot tar that only provides dread or sadness. I can't go an hour
without wanting to die...and it's been that way for a long long time. Please
help me get out of this, I can't hold this weight any more, all I want is to
feel some shred of relief. I am so beyond weary, my soul feels as though
it's wilted and no longer has any strength... I break down in tears multiple
times a day and just look in the mirror. I just want to die..


Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
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