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Life Long Suffering. Looking for a solution.

serpentwalker666

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 24, 2017
Messages
1,228
Hello my satanic family. I am going to make this short as I really don't know how else to describe this.

My entire life I have dealt with inexplicable weakness, pain and fatigue that has affected everything in my life.

I have went through the works in applying all of the knowledge and methods of Satanism in healing myself, along with traditional Chinese medicine, and to be truthful, I still suffer daily to extents to where death is preferable then the intense pain I am in.

I move forward because I have a wife, my two young sons, rest of my family, close friends, you all here and the Gods.

I have collapsed multiple times this year, when trying to just function and go about my life, yesterday I was cutting my lawn and collapsed on the ground and could not breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

Every time I go to doctors they tell me nothing. I have been through endless specialists, and they give me 0 answers for why I feel like I am dying.

I am a young man in my 20s, yet my endurance and strength is deeply impacted. I fight to hold down jobs, to drive my car and not get so tired I fall asleep, and I feel as though I have failed my family and my loved ones.

Satan and the Gods have intervened a few times in my life so I did not succumb to death, but I do not understand why I am here in this world to exist in this state.

I am weakened to where I cannot contribute like I should be able to, to the Joy of Satan, and I cannot give my family the life they deserve, and I find this all very torturous.

I keep ineffable faith in Father Satan, but I just do not understand.. I've tried everything and I feel I have failed.

I meditate and advance daily regardless of this and try to be present here to offer advice when I can, but I feel like I am very limited because of all of this.

Thank you all for your time, I just am at a point where I feel like my options have ran out.
 
Hello my satanic family. I am going to make this short as I really don't know how else to describe this.

My entire life I have dealt with inexplicable weakness, pain and fatigue that has affected everything in my life.

I have went through the works in applying all of the knowledge and methods of Satanism in healing myself, along with traditional Chinese medicine, and to be truthful, I still suffer daily to extents to where death is preferable then the intense pain I am in.

I move forward because I have a wife, my two young sons, rest of my family, close friends, you all here and the Gods.

I have collapsed multiple times this year, when trying to just function and go about my life, yesterday I was cutting my lawn and collapsed on the ground and could not breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

Every time I go to doctors they tell me nothing. I have been through endless specialists, and they give me 0 answers for why I feel like I am dying.

I am a young man in my 20s, yet my endurance and strength is deeply impacted. I fight to hold down jobs, to drive my car and not get so tired I fall asleep, and I feel as though I have failed my family and my loved ones.

Satan and the Gods have intervened a few times in my life so I did not succumb to death, but I do not understand why I am here in this world to exist in this state.

I am weakened to where I cannot contribute like I should be able to, to the Joy of Satan, and I cannot give my family the life they deserve, and I find this all very torturous.

I keep ineffable faith in Father Satan, but I just do not understand.. I've tried everything and I feel I have failed.

I meditate and advance daily regardless of this and try to be present here to offer advice when I can, but I feel like I am very limited because of all of this.

Thank you all for your time, I just am at a point where I feel like my options have ran out.

And what were the results of your workings? Even though these major problems can take time to fully fix, there should be incremental progress. I wouldn't say nothing has happened.

Sometimes the conditions of the situation can strain one's energy, despite of if you have better health than before. Cutting your lawn, or other work outdoors, is laborious even for healthy people.

Success and failure are judged based on reasonable assessments of the situation, not just on who you think you should be. It. appears to me like you are comparing yourself to social expectations of the average man and that may be why you believe you had failed.

You have to afford yourself some patience and understanding here; everyone has their own karma and you wouldn't expect someone with low IQ to write a new operating system, for example.

Of course you are not doomed to exist like this forever, and our health and vitality is a very important aspect of this path which can and should be worked on by everyone. You were not born here to continue to suffer, you are here to advance alongside everyone else.

Personally, I believe you have to continue with more healing workings, like with the current Mars in Aries. However, I don't want to give off a careless attitude by suggesting you didn't think of this or hadn't already done workings.

You are probably best off spending your energy on Valefor's Ritual and continuing a relationship with him on a frequent basis, in order to get the best results from any healing efforts or plans.

You have endured thus far under harsh conditions, which means you still have energy that can be applied towards growth, so I don't see your situation as fully hopeless, despite that it may feel like that.
 
Last edited:
Hello my satanic family. I am going to make this short as I really don't know how else to describe this.

My entire life I have dealt with inexplicable weakness, pain and fatigue that has affected everything in my life.

I have went through the works in applying all of the knowledge and methods of Satanism in healing myself, along with traditional Chinese medicine, and to be truthful, I still suffer daily to extents to where death is preferable then the intense pain I am in.

I move forward because I have a wife, my two young sons, rest of my family, close friends, you all here and the Gods.

I have collapsed multiple times this year, when trying to just function and go about my life, yesterday I was cutting my lawn and collapsed on the ground and could not breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

Every time I go to doctors they tell me nothing. I have been through endless specialists, and they give me 0 answers for why I feel like I am dying.

I am a young man in my 20s, yet my endurance and strength is deeply impacted. I fight to hold down jobs, to drive my car and not get so tired I fall asleep, and I feel as though I have failed my family and my loved ones.

Satan and the Gods have intervened a few times in my life so I did not succumb to death, but I do not understand why I am here in this world to exist in this state.

I am weakened to where I cannot contribute like I should be able to, to the Joy of Satan, and I cannot give my family the life they deserve, and I find this all very torturous.

I keep ineffable faith in Father Satan, but I just do not understand.. I've tried everything and I feel I have failed.

I meditate and advance daily regardless of this and try to be present here to offer advice when I can, but I feel like I am very limited because of all of this.

Thank you all for your time, I just am at a point where I feel like my options have ran out.
The doctors tell you it's nothing? Have you tried a freeing the soul working? It might be something from your past life, such as intense abuse and violent painful death that affected your soul so much that it carries over. This is just a theory based on the fact that you have seen doctors and they tell you it's nothing.

Also, have you consulted holistic doctors? TCM, for example.

If you have not done a freeing the soul working, or if you've done it only just a bit (only 40 days with lower reps), that might be the route to go. Possibly for 180 days.
 
Hello my satanic family. I am going to make this short as I really don't know how else to describe this.

My entire life I have dealt with inexplicable weakness, pain and fatigue that has affected everything in my life.

I have went through the works in applying all of the knowledge and methods of Satanism in healing myself, along with traditional Chinese medicine, and to be truthful, I still suffer daily to extents to where death is preferable then the intense pain I am in.

I move forward because I have a wife, my two young sons, rest of my family, close friends, you all here and the Gods.

I have collapsed multiple times this year, when trying to just function and go about my life, yesterday I was cutting my lawn and collapsed on the ground and could not breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

Every time I go to doctors they tell me nothing. I have been through endless specialists, and they give me 0 answers for why I feel like I am dying.

I am a young man in my 20s, yet my endurance and strength is deeply impacted. I fight to hold down jobs, to drive my car and not get so tired I fall asleep, and I feel as though I have failed my family and my loved ones.

Satan and the Gods have intervened a few times in my life so I did not succumb to death, but I do not understand why I am here in this world to exist in this state.

I am weakened to where I cannot contribute like I should be able to, to the Joy of Satan, and I cannot give my family the life they deserve, and I find this all very torturous.

I keep ineffable faith in Father Satan, but I just do not understand.. I've tried everything and I feel I have failed.

I meditate and advance daily regardless of this and try to be present here to offer advice when I can, but I feel like I am very limited because of all of this.

Thank you all for your time, I just am at a point where I feel like my options have ran out.
My dear Brother, it's heartbreaking to read about your suffering.

And since you've worked on these health problems, you know Lord Valefor.

I don't know what to say to you except don't give up, and above all don't feel guilty for not taking part in JoS as you would like. I know how much time a home takes and how much energy a long-term illness takes.

May the Gods bring you answers and relief.

But don't give up my brother, everything will reveal itself along the way.
 
I would like to ask what your diet is like. do you eat a lot of standard grocery store prepackaged meals or do have a lot of fresh home made food? I ask because there are thousands upon thousands of bad chemicals in grocery store foods now a days with different dyes and things used to make said "foods" with none of them tested by the fda- i'm assuming that you live in the usa. on top of all of this no one knows how all of these chemicals react to each others or how much concentration they need to have to cause a reaction and the sciences is just getting started on how what your parents and grandparents ate affected you. todays docs are completly clueless in that reguards. please do as HP Lydia suggests and take a look at the things your eating, where they come from, how they are processed.
I suggest looking up Weston A. Price Foundation for more information about all of these chemicals and how they affect the body. please keep us updated.


Hail Father Satan
 
Start a freeing the soul working, a few weeks later a healing working, and continuously seek Valefor's attention (rituals, meditating on him, etc. You can declare to him that you want his help). Non of these workings will be futile and non of what you have done was.
 
And what were the results of your workings? Even though these major problems can take time to fully fix, there should be incremental progress. I wouldn't say nothing has happened.

Sometimes the conditions of the situation can strain one's energy, despite of if you have better health than before. Cutting your lawn, or other work outdoors, is laborious even for healthy people.

Success and failure are judged based on reasonable assessments of the situation, not just on who you think you should be. It. appears to me like you are comparing yourself to social expectations of the average man and that may be why you believe you had failed.

You have to afford yourself some patience and understanding here; everyone has their own karma and you wouldn't expect someone with low IQ to write a new operating system, for example.

Of course you are not doomed to exist like this forever, and our health and vitality is a very important aspect of this path which can and should be worked on by everyone. You were not born here to continue to suffer, you are here to advance alongside everyone else.

Personally, I believe you have to continue with more healing workings, like with the current Mars in Aries. However, I don't want to give off a careless attitude by suggesting you didn't think of this or hadn't already done workings.

You are probably best off spending your energy on Valefor's Ritual and continuing a relationship with him on a frequent basis, in order to get the best results from any healing efforts or plans.

You have endured thus far under harsh conditions, which means you still have energy that can be applied towards growth, so I don't see your situation as fully hopeless, despite that it may feel like that.

The results of the workings have made some improvement, but I still have very bad days and or weeks. Truthfully I am just very fearful of how unstable things are, as I desire to just make sure my wife and children both are better taken care of financially.

I was at a point years ago where I could barely walk to my mailbox or up and down stairs and I was unable to drive or focus, thankfully I have grown alot better then where I was.

Yes, I would say you are correct in that I am comparing myself to the social expectations of the average man, as I am just very dissatisfied, and to be honest, devastated I am not yet able to give my family a better life.

I fully agree with you here in about everything you mention here, for the time being I will probably just focus on the ritual to Valefor before I begin another healing working as the results have been very gradual in my own efforts.

What I have ultimately noticed however, is diet seems to have 0 effect on whether I feel better or worse. The issues I experience appear very pervasive and seem to have no real tangible connection that I can discern yet. My memory is also deeply affected, to where I even forget important dates, including the birth dates of my children, and I forget to eat or drink sometimes for the better half of 2 to 3 days at a time, and to which I've been working on trying to improve this, as I know that could lead to further deficiency of blood and yin.

Fatigue and pain will be so intense some days I've almost got into car accidents when driving alone and running errands, I have learned to have a bit more patience with myself and sometimes stop places to rest.

Ideally what I plan to do ultimately to solve the issues of financial instability, is to just try to be a work from home computer engineer, but I cannot yet justify doing this as a formal education, so I will have to teach myself everything and just learn from courses. I've noticed the current US job market is a complete free for all, which complicates matters.

I must admit, I have made great progress, but I am still not there yet with my destined path.

I'll look into what I can do with magic to manifest a decent work from home job, as I do have everything set up for this.

I also want to add that yes I am born here to advance as a being and grow past this. Just sometimes severe pain has a way of clouding my judgement. I appreciate you reminding me of the better outlook my Brother.
 
The doctors tell you it's nothing? Have you tried a freeing the soul working? It might be something from your past life, such as intense abuse and violent painful death that affected your soul so much that it carries over. This is just a theory based on the fact that you have seen doctors and they tell you it's nothing.

Also, have you consulted holistic doctors? TCM, for example.

If you have not done a freeing the soul working, or if you've done it only just a bit (only 40 days with lower reps), that might be the route to go. Possibly for 180 days.

I will look into a Freeing the Soul working, perhaps this is something I need that will clear up some of this. It's a very valid theory. I have unfortunately not been able to consult Holistic doctors as of yet, I intend to just book an appointment with Centralforce when I can, as that will be something for when I have a bit more financial stability.

As for violent death, I do recall having died in a very brutal car accident, a few lifetimes ago, what are the chances this would carry over though? I am uncertain.

Thank you for all your guidance and advice here High Priestess Lydia. I am always grateful to you and my satanic family, all the Guardians and High Priest Cobra for all that you do. :)
 
My dear Brother, it's heartbreaking to read about your suffering.

And since you've worked on these health problems, you know Lord Valefor.

I don't know what to say to you except don't give up, and above all don't feel guilty for not taking part in JoS as you would like. I know how much time a home takes and how much energy a long-term illness takes.

May the Gods bring you answers and relief.

But don't give up my brother, everything will reveal itself along the way.

Thank you my dear sister. I will try to be less hard on myself, in light on the circumstances I deal with.

I won't give up. I understand, thank you so much. I will work with the Gods in finding a solution to all of this.

May you receive great blessings from Father Satan and overcome all in your way.
 
and I forget to eat or drink sometimes for the better half of 2 to 3 days at a time, and to which I've been working on trying to improve this, as I know that could lead to further deficiency of blood and yin.
How is that even possible? Nevermind. Perhaps you should try keeping a journal at hand where you have written when and what you have eaten and drank. Then all you need to remember is to check the journal a few times a day. Even better, do the introspection meditation on a daily basis which should increase clarity and recall abilities.
 
How is that even possible? Nevermind. Perhaps you should try keeping a journal at hand where you have written when and what you have eaten and drank. Then all you need to remember is to check the journal a few times a day. Even better, do the introspection meditation on a daily basis which should increase clarity and recall abilities.
I appreciate the advice. I just get caught up in other things and then just neglect this, or eat very sparingly in a 2 to 3 day period unintentionally, just not paying attention to this as I should.

I am working on rectifying this, as I know it is not healthy and definitely not helping me.

Also I know, I am WTF about it as well, there was a few times it just hit me all of a sudden, and I couldn't believe I was that foolish.
 
I would like to ask what your diet is like. do you eat a lot of standard grocery store prepackaged meals or do have a lot of fresh home made food? I ask because there are thousands upon thousands of bad chemicals in grocery store foods now a days with different dyes and things used to make said "foods" with none of them tested by the fda- i'm assuming that you live in the usa. on top of all of this no one knows how all of these chemicals react to each others or how much concentration they need to have to cause a reaction and the sciences is just getting started on how what your parents and grandparents ate affected you. todays docs are completly clueless in that reguards. please do as HP Lydia suggests and take a look at the things your eating, where they come from, how they are processed.
I suggest looking up Weston A. Price Foundation for more information about all of these chemicals and how they affect the body. please keep us updated.


Hail Father Satan

Thank you, I will better look into adjusting my diet and researching everything. I appreciate the information on this.
 
Start a freeing the soul working, a few weeks later a healing working, and continuously seek Valefor's attention (rituals, meditating on him, etc. You can declare to him that you want his help). Non of these workings will be futile and non of what you have done was.
Thank you. I will do this.
 
I will look into a Freeing the Soul working, perhaps this is something I need that will clear up some of this. It's a very valid theory. I have unfortunately not been able to consult Holistic doctors as of yet, I intend to just book an appointment with Centralforce when I can, as that will be something for when I have a bit more financial stability.

As for violent death, I do recall having died in a very brutal car accident, a few lifetimes ago, what are the chances this would carry over though? I am uncertain.

Thank you for all your guidance and advice here High Priestess Lydia. I am always grateful to you and my satanic family, all the Guardians and High Priest Cobra for all that you do. :)
I had major improvements in my health from doing a freeing the soul working. I'm not sure what could cause pain to carry over from past lives in your case, but regardless, it's best to hit from as many sides as possible: freeing the soul, plus rituals/workings.

Good luck to you :)
 
I'm very sorry to hear that you've been struggling with this. As a pescetarian having read online a bit too much I understand that deficiencies in iron, B-12, Vitamin D and iodine can cause light-headedness and fainting.

I'm guessing your doctor did a blood test. No results? It might be helpful to include a Vitamin D supplement, especially if you tend to work indoors. Also including liver, eggs, seafood, beef and dairy in the diet can help in obtaining these nutrients. Edible seaweed such as dulse (and so on) are also very high in iodine which is of critical importance to the adrenal glands.
The adrenal glands release hormones that are responsible for managing stress to the body, immune health, metabolism and blood pressure.

Do you ever feel thirsty and experience frequent urination? You could be experiencing some hyponatremia in which case making sure you're getting enough sodium and potassium which regulates blood pressure and fluid in the body/cells. Problems with glucose levels can also cause frequent urination as well.

I'd suggest staying away from simple carbohydrates and excess caffeine. I know this is easier said than done but overtime it may help, especially if you built insulin sensitivity from (potentially) this along with periods of prolonged fasting followed by a large meal high in simple carbohydrates which may contribute to hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). Sometimes if the body produces excess insulin at once (insulin spike) this makes it difficult for the pancreas to release more insulin, resulting in a sudden drop in blood glucose levels and thus energy levels.

Getting away from these habits can feel like things get worse before they start getting better yet I think it's worth pursuing.


Apart from all that I think you are making amazing strides and I admire your knowledge and resolve! I hope that your spiritual workings go well and I apologize for my excessively detailed response! Be sure to take it with a grain of salt because I'm no expert or anything, just someone interested in learning these things. I also don't mean for you to feel like a hypochondriac but rather my hope is you can try things out overtime and see if you notice any changes. When seeking to obtain health I believe that at times it's best to focus less on what the cause is and to focus more on experimenting with your dietary and lifestyle habits.

I genuinely hope all the best for your health and wish you good results in your spiritual workings. 🙂
 
The doctors tell you it's nothing? Have you tried a freeing the soul working? It might be something from your past life, such as intense abuse and violent painful death that affected your soul so much that it carries over. This is just a theory based on the fact that you have seen doctors and they tell you it's nothing.

Also, have you consulted holistic doctors? TCM, for example.

If you have not done a freeing the soul working, or if you've done it only just a bit (only 40 days with lower reps), that might be the route to go. Possibly for 180 days.
Hp Lydia it sounds like he is stressed to the levels of it's affecting his health and he really needs to find time to de stress.
 
Hello my satanic family. I am going to make this short as I really don't know how else to describe this.

My entire life I have dealt with inexplicable weakness, pain and fatigue that has affected everything in my life.

I have went through the works in applying all of the knowledge and methods of Satanism in healing myself, along with traditional Chinese medicine, and to be truthful, I still suffer daily to extents to where death is preferable then the intense pain I am in.

I move forward because I have a wife, my two young sons, rest of my family, close friends, you all here and the Gods.

I have collapsed multiple times this year, when trying to just function and go about my life, yesterday I was cutting my lawn and collapsed on the ground and could not breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

Every time I go to doctors they tell me nothing. I have been through endless specialists, and they give me 0 answers for why I feel like I am dying.

I am a young man in my 20s, yet my endurance and strength is deeply impacted. I fight to hold down jobs, to drive my car and not get so tired I fall asleep, and I feel as though I have failed my family and my loved ones.

Satan and the Gods have intervened a few times in my life so I did not succumb to death, but I do not understand why I am here in this world to exist in this state.

I am weakened to where I cannot contribute like I should be able to, to the Joy of Satan, and I cannot give my family the life they deserve, and I find this all very torturous.

I keep ineffable faith in Father Satan, but I just do not understand.. I've tried everything and I feel I have failed.

I meditate and advance daily regardless of this and try to be present here to offer advice when I can, but I feel like I am very limited because of all of this.

Thank you all for your time, I just am at a point where I feel like my options have ran out.

Hello my satanic family. I am going to make this short as I really don't know how else to describe this.

My entire life I have dealt with inexplicable weakness, pain and fatigue that has affected everything in my life.

I have went through the works in applying all of the knowledge and methods of Satanism in healing myself, along with traditional Chinese medicine, and to be truthful, I still suffer daily to extents to where death is preferable then the intense pain I am in.

I move forward because I have a wife, my two young sons, rest of my family, close friends, you all here and the Gods.

I have collapsed multiple times this year, when trying to just function and go about my life, yesterday I was cutting my lawn and collapsed on the ground and could not breathe, and my chest felt like it was going to explode.

Every time I go to doctors they tell me nothing. I have been through endless specialists, and they give me 0 answers for why I feel like I am dying.

I am a young man in my 20s, yet my endurance and strength is deeply impacted. I fight to hold down jobs, to drive my car and not get so tired I fall asleep, and I feel as though I have failed my family and my loved ones.

Satan and the Gods have intervened a few times in my life so I did not succumb to death, but I do not understand why I am here in this world to exist in this state.

I am weakened to where I cannot contribute like I should be able to, to the Joy of Satan, and I cannot give my family the life they deserve, and I find this all very torturous.

I keep ineffable faith in Father Satan, but I just do not understand.. I've tried everything and I feel I have failed.

I meditate and advance daily regardless of this and try to be present here to offer advice when I can, but I feel like I am very limited because of all of this.

Thank you all for your time, I just am at a point where I feel like my options have ran out.
What type of work do you do for a living ?and it sounds like you're stressed and need to relax and It seems like you are doing so much as a father and a husband and I can't offer much advice.

I been married only 8 months but known my now husband for 8 years.

I can offer some advice anyway make time with your wife after the kids are settled in bed. You guys don't have to do anything just put on some mood lights and calming music on YouTube.

Talk about what's been going on and how you are feeling just talk about how you can help each other and what's been stressing you.

IF you want to do something have family watch the lil ones and go on a outing with the wife. You don't have to spend money just go to a park and walk spend some time with your bare feet on the earth .

Hope this helps
 
Can you describe the pain you are having? Is it like having muscle spasms for days/weeks on end? Where often do you feel pain? Do you feel hot or cold most of the time? Do you have stomach issues? Do you exercise, do yoga? Do you have nasal congestion?

Saw someone else mentioned you're stressed out. I would take time at the beginning and end of your day to empty your mind and focus on nothing but that. As the head of a household I can relate. Feels like taking time off is not an option at times. If you can, try to minimize the small BS chores that need done. Pay a neighbor teen to mow the lawn for example.

My mother has similar problems, modern Jewish "medicine" diagnosed her with fibromyalgia. TCM/acupuncture can help if the practician is skilled enough. If only we could all see Centralforce in person.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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