serpentwalker666
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2017
- Messages
- 1,293
Hello. I will make this short, but basically as the title says I have just been uncertain of how to proceed at this point.
I have looked into college, I cannot afford it or justify it as a career path at this point in my life as I'm at a point where I don't have enough money and I cannot work and study at the same time, I end up burning out quickly.
I have tried to pursue various other career paths, but I have burnt out from doing this and dealing with doing my best to be there for my partner and children who are having some difficulties and need me more present.
This is putting a huge strain on me as I cannot seem to find a job that will even hire me part time or with flexible shifts. Or if they do, they will outright lie to me and fuck me over. Then I have to figure that out later on.
I am looking into being a caregiver for my partner as a few months ago she was taking care of our children and had a seizure in the kitchen, and almost got badly burned on the oven.
Others have also witnessed her having seizures, while I was at work trying to make sure we have extra income coming in.
They happen randomly. And she cannot drive. So I make sure to run errands and do anything that needs done. I help with the children and with cleaning and everything else.
This job was inflexible to work with me. And I ended up leaving because of it. I completely burnt out from trying to do everything between my demanding job and what is going on at home.
My partner is considered disabled. So they receive an income from this. But it is not enough to cover other things, which I find jobs to work so I can cover unexpected expenses and other needed essentials.
On top of this, I have my own issues I struggle with as others have seen in my previous posts. I'm actively trying to sort this all out.
I feel like I am in 10 different directions every day trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing about any of this.
The bright side is I have self taught technical skills and am slowly becoming a self taught programmer. I can manage Linux and BSD systems as a self taught system administrator.
But the rate and time I have to study is so limited. I have to usually just cram as much information as I can to accomplish this sparingly.
Ultimately as a man i feel like I have failed. My self esteem is almost directly tied to how I need to support my children and my partner.
On top of this I also support my aging parents who need help with things.
My mom has chronic long term agoraphobia with mental illness who can't function in society. So I have to basically check in on her often and make sure she has anything that she needs or I help and do all the yard work.
I ended up losing all health insurance. I have no idea when or how I will be insured next. I cut my hand on glass and had to treat the wound myself even though it needed stitches, as I could not afford medical care.
Im unsure what my best course of action is.
Everything is going to be fine and I'll figure it out. But it's been this way for a few years. And I haven't been handling it the best.
The amount of mental stress I am under is extreme in trying solve everything here I mention.
I have looked into college, I cannot afford it or justify it as a career path at this point in my life as I'm at a point where I don't have enough money and I cannot work and study at the same time, I end up burning out quickly.
I have tried to pursue various other career paths, but I have burnt out from doing this and dealing with doing my best to be there for my partner and children who are having some difficulties and need me more present.
This is putting a huge strain on me as I cannot seem to find a job that will even hire me part time or with flexible shifts. Or if they do, they will outright lie to me and fuck me over. Then I have to figure that out later on.
I am looking into being a caregiver for my partner as a few months ago she was taking care of our children and had a seizure in the kitchen, and almost got badly burned on the oven.
Others have also witnessed her having seizures, while I was at work trying to make sure we have extra income coming in.
They happen randomly. And she cannot drive. So I make sure to run errands and do anything that needs done. I help with the children and with cleaning and everything else.
This job was inflexible to work with me. And I ended up leaving because of it. I completely burnt out from trying to do everything between my demanding job and what is going on at home.
My partner is considered disabled. So they receive an income from this. But it is not enough to cover other things, which I find jobs to work so I can cover unexpected expenses and other needed essentials.
On top of this, I have my own issues I struggle with as others have seen in my previous posts. I'm actively trying to sort this all out.
I feel like I am in 10 different directions every day trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing about any of this.
The bright side is I have self taught technical skills and am slowly becoming a self taught programmer. I can manage Linux and BSD systems as a self taught system administrator.
But the rate and time I have to study is so limited. I have to usually just cram as much information as I can to accomplish this sparingly.
Ultimately as a man i feel like I have failed. My self esteem is almost directly tied to how I need to support my children and my partner.
On top of this I also support my aging parents who need help with things.
My mom has chronic long term agoraphobia with mental illness who can't function in society. So I have to basically check in on her often and make sure she has anything that she needs or I help and do all the yard work.
I ended up losing all health insurance. I have no idea when or how I will be insured next. I cut my hand on glass and had to treat the wound myself even though it needed stitches, as I could not afford medical care.
Im unsure what my best course of action is.
Everything is going to be fine and I'll figure it out. But it's been this way for a few years. And I haven't been handling it the best.
The amount of mental stress I am under is extreme in trying solve everything here I mention.