I smoked weed again -_-

[siscool397]

I smoked a little bit of weed last night. I am cutting down a lot because i go days without smoking and when i do i smoke very little. I find when I do my meditations and don't miss them I don't have a desire to smoke it. I have the desire to not smoke it and do more work on my meditations. I find when other peoples energy attach to me and/or I skip my meditations (the engery attaches to me because I skip them) and that is when I start to have the desire to smoke it. I find the negative energy from the media and everyone else attaches itself to me making me feel like i have no free will and my meditations wont help and that makes me want to smoke it because i find if i have a small amount i can relax and get rid of that energy allthough another part of me tells me that thats nonsence because the energy itself wants me to smoke weed. I smoked it last night for a reason mixed with the ones above and i cannot remember what it was but after i smoked it i felt bad and did the candle excersize. I had a sore back from two days before from working out. after the candle excersize, I continues to lie there for the next four mins I notessed I had a harder time getting thoughts out of my head then if i was sober but once I got them out i continued to focus all my energy to one point I desided to try and heal my back because focusing on nothing was very hard at the time so i thought of nice warm red healing energy warming up my back and healing it when i was done my back did not hurt nearly as much today it is completely healed and today my chakras are more active then they were yesterday. I am going to find out how long it will take roughly to open all my chakras in one day and how to make a protection aura. I find if i do more meditations and raise my life force more the desire to smoke it becomes less, even when i get the urges to do it. I do fear that as with any drug i may have damaged myself by doing meditations while I was high but I only had felt bad untill i did the meditation, so it may have had no effect or the effects may happen in a couple days time and be delayed. let me know your opinions on this.