solarsonia666
New member
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2012
- Messages
- 15
A friend helped me get back on my feet, and I made spiritual progress.
I had been doing the 40-day MUNKA working, doing protection every day, doing cleaning every day, link severing... overall felt completely great and like myself again. I even opened my Third eye, and partially opened the crown chakra. This was over the course of 6 or so days.
Then, 2 days ago, I woke up and... didn't really feel spiritual. I said to fuck with it, and went and did my protection and cleaning anyhow.
As the day went by though, I just started to feel... negative. Like how I did before I started back up meditating.
It got progressively worse, despite doing a protection+deflection ritual, attempting to clean out my energy and empower... it just kept getting worse.
My heart started to hurt (like somebody was trying to rip it out), head started to hurt, and before I knew it I was back to being depressed, suicidal, and felt like I was drowning emotionally.
As the night went on, my mind started to break again. I attacked my roommate against my will, and was in complete agony from him trying to banish whatever it was.
I don't think it ever left, and I haven't felt any better since; I feel like I'm broken, and part of me wonders if it's even me typing this up. I'm stable, but on the verge of collapse at any moment... and I know this sounds, odd, but my nervous system hurts... sometimes it feels like it's trying to rip itself out.
I want to be fixed... or fix myself.
I'm tired of being like this, for years... what do I do?
I had been doing the 40-day MUNKA working, doing protection every day, doing cleaning every day, link severing... overall felt completely great and like myself again. I even opened my Third eye, and partially opened the crown chakra. This was over the course of 6 or so days.
Then, 2 days ago, I woke up and... didn't really feel spiritual. I said to fuck with it, and went and did my protection and cleaning anyhow.
As the day went by though, I just started to feel... negative. Like how I did before I started back up meditating.
It got progressively worse, despite doing a protection+deflection ritual, attempting to clean out my energy and empower... it just kept getting worse.
My heart started to hurt (like somebody was trying to rip it out), head started to hurt, and before I knew it I was back to being depressed, suicidal, and felt like I was drowning emotionally.
As the night went on, my mind started to break again. I attacked my roommate against my will, and was in complete agony from him trying to banish whatever it was.
I don't think it ever left, and I haven't felt any better since; I feel like I'm broken, and part of me wonders if it's even me typing this up. I'm stable, but on the verge of collapse at any moment... and I know this sounds, odd, but my nervous system hurts... sometimes it feels like it's trying to rip itself out.
I want to be fixed... or fix myself.
I'm tired of being like this, for years... what do I do?