I am LOST

[thewanderer]

Hello, i am someone, somewhere in the world right now and i just need to write this. I dedicated myself when i was 15 years old, since then i have been doing a thing or to but i didn’t meditate as much. This went for like almost 2 years and then i had a pause. I didn’t do anything for 3 years. Suddenly i began to feel weird, guilty because i didn’t progress as i was supposed to do. I was always a lazy person in life and didn’t do much effort to get things my way because most of the time it went my way. I spoke to Satan and i apologised and i promised i will get better and start evolving myself through meditation, but i haven’t. Since then i didn’t do anything. I am person who cannot stick to a routine. My mind rather chooses to stay in bed all day. When i was 15 and fresh dedicated i could feel the energy and warmth flowing through me. I felt special and unique and i knew i was very lucky, but as i didn’t do much with time now i feel like i faded away. I grew up and life is different, life can become hard and lonely but i’m not planning on living like this. I don’t want to be like this my whole life. I want to start with meditation and i will, the moment i wake up because it is pretty late here now. I am watching my friends and family members, how blind they are and i feel sorry, but i am not going to wait for someone else to catch me on my path. I am writing this because i feel very bad. I stand here full of shame because i lied to Satan and the Gods. I was thinking about writing a letter to HIM or just try and say what’s on my heart to him but i just can’t i feel so ashamed. I do want to turn things right. I never turned my back to Him and i always knew in my mind and soul that i belong here. Everytime something bad happened on a global level i immediately ran here to read but i knew i will always find the Truth here. I do not want to run again from my potential. I want to get better. I have a very bad feeling right now when i think about the world. I am worrying because i can feel something is going to happen that will change things, the world and i do not want to stand like an idiot here while the evil shows its face more and more. Do you Satan and the Gods will forgive me? or am i banished forever?

 

[Head Guardian Blitzkreig]

....

Don't feel ashamed, as the Gods know you are having difficulties. That doesn't mean you are lying, but you basically made a promise that wasn't reasonable to make. People do this often because they think they can rely on stress of maintaining a relationship as a means to enforce discipline, when in reality this is not true and just produces frustration.

Use energies like Nauthiz to create self-discipline and routine, and block your phone apps or whatever you are doing besides your responsibilities. You shouldn't pretend that you are a productivity robot, but you should also take steps to increase these abilities.

No, you are not banished forever just because of some minor mistakes. Don't worry about that.