--- In
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url], octalron <octalron@... wrote:
Everyone goes throgh tough times; especially now that the enemy is getting desparate. There is evil in this world now, and until it is gone there will be no "easy street".
I am a dedicated Satanist for close to five years now. I started getting closer to Father then in September of last year, some neighbors of mine were trespassing and trying to break into my home. That problem seemed to be resolved then the next month on October fifth, I lost my Grandmother, I was close to her. She was diagnosed with leukemia and the doctors told her she wouldn't last 6 months. It went into remission and she live for 14 years after. She passed away at 72. In the end her heart and kidneys failed- probably due to the conventional "treatments" from the hospital. My Grandpa, then 83, suffered a stroke after she died. He has had small strokes before and signs of dementia. It worsened. He had to be placed into an assisted living facility. Both of my grandparents, while not known Satanists, didn't care that I was not xtian. they accepted me for who I am. When my cousin came out of the closet with his homesexuality, they didn't care and
at the time, were the only ones who would still speak to him-I was too young and had to keep my homosexuality a secret from my parents. All I had to do was ask my grandparents for anything and they would either do it or help me find a way to get it done no matter what it was. They are good people. Then I began having problems at work. A person who was trying to be "Chief" of all other departments-even though she is basically just a secretary was litterally trying to set me up to get fired. She did not prevail. When this seemed to be resolved, in April this year, I was rear ended by a drunk driver on my motorcycle. I had a Suzuki GSXR 600 and due to other problems could not afford to replace it. That was how I would releive stress and relax from a hectic day. It was now totalled and the fucker who hit me had to back his car up due to the fact my bike was wedged underneath it and then he went around me and left me on the rr tracks with 2 trains
comming. Just as he left, he ran a stop sign and a policeman was there at the same time and caught him-NOT a coincidence. A passer-by stopped and took my bike off the tracks and made sure I was safe in between the 2 tracks while the trains passed-again, NOT a coincidence as this was the middle of the night and now the area was busy with people trying to help me. This man is now in jail and I had to spend the rest of the night in the hospital. Then (yes theres more) I have a small farm here and raise chickens-a couple of stray dogs killed all but 3 of my 12 chickens. The ones killed had just started laying eggs and due to money constraints, I was eating the eggs every day and was feeling healthier because this was the first time in a long while I was eating this well and my chickens are free range. Now I was down to one laying hen. My hens (Rhode Island Reds) lay usually one egg every day and I was staying stocked on eggs. Now I am still waiting
for my young chicks to begin laying-not expecting until this OCTOBER! After all of this, my mom discovered lumps in one of her breasts. The doctors had to do a biopsy. I prayed to Father and left it to Him. The results came back NOT cancerous.
And yes theres more but I feel I have made my point. I pray to Father every day. I am not good at meditating or staying consistent with it. I am still trying with my self to do this on a regular basis. The point is, is that Father is making sure I have what I need. Just before my grandmother passed, I found some music. I can't explain it, but it gave me peace. It got me through. It is also helping me cope with my Grandpa. I had exactly enough money to not only replace my chickens but to buy more than what I began with, so I can sell some of the eggs to help with costs. Losing my bike has allowed me-since I was making payments and paying for insurance (that was almost another bike payment in itself) to buy more food at the store.
When you are honestly serving Father in your heart, He will see to it that you have what you need. It is a sin to Father to end the life He has given you. The choice of how long we live or when we die is for Him alone. He makes sure that we have the resources needed, it is up to us to use them correctly.
--- On Fri, 7/22/11, Nico <ndsishere@... wrote:
From: Nico <ndsishere@...
Subject: [Satanicgaycommunity] help
To:
[url=mailto:[email protected]][email protected][/url]
Date: Friday, July 22, 2011, 10:18 AM
Â
Almost 2.5 years I stumbled upon the JOS website, I almost immediately felt that which the JOS website wrote in it's many articles felt right. after a few days I decided to preform the dedication ritual for Father Satan. I became a true dedicated Satanist. Doing the power meditation program, meditating on a daily basis etc.. but after 2 year I have to admit with sadness that all my efforts have been without any results. I can't seem to accomplish anything. My life seems to go in a downturn spiral. I had to move back into my parents house and have been without an income, friends etc for almost a year, every new venture I start ends in drama. 3 years ago I had a career many would envy, I was living in NY, published a book that sold really well, was written about in many magazines and even appeared on national TV. Today I'm worth nothing, I feel I fell from the planet and I go in and out of depressions. I'm not a negative person deep down, but have been
thinking about ending my life lately. I keep fighting the thoughts but every time I banish them, they keep creeping back in. For the last month I decided to focus on attracting money as that would help my self confidence tremendously. Just enough money to buy my own food and to be able to stand on my own feet but nothing has entered my reality as of yet. I keep asking Father for some guidance and a sign that I'm on the right path but that also comes without any result. Is there any advice someone can give me? Is there something I'm doing wrong? Is this part of the process? I'm really coming at the end of my line. Any advice would be great. Thanks a lot. Hail Satan.
