Having a major problem. Does anyone have advice?

[kay_dogg_fox]

I am new but not, see I have been researching satanism for years now. Last year I did the ritual making my belief and faith official. That night and the day after I felt incredible, absolutely amazing, like my entire being was lighter. And warm.

But since then, I just cannot meditate, maybe I'm trying too hard but it's so frustrating. I try every night and fail. I always say a small prayer every night. For him to help my mother (she has a lot of medical problems as well as stress) so I ask him to just help her a bit if she can. The only thing ask for myself every night is to one day open my spirit and feel him and all the spirits and some guidance on my spiritual path.

No matter what I do. I even Google medical for idiots. Try their ways, become I felt that if a soccer mom can do it with no problems. I shouldn't have any. But I can't. Maybe it's a lack of focus from just wanting something so bad.

I know all my Chakras are blocked, I can't clear them if I can't even get the basics down.

I have not Xian or any other religious chains. I don't think I've even been in a church so I don't think that's an issue.

does anyone have any advise on this, like some kind of method for someone who is blocked my himself? And who is probably his own worst enemy? Some kind of thing that you would recommend to extreme cases of mental blockage?

I'll take any advice I can get.

Thank you my brothers and sisters for your time

 

[Yog Sothoth]

Never say you ''cannot'' do something. You just need to work more at it. I would say to start with simple stuff like Chakra breathing and spinning before moving on to vibration. Maybe even just try to feel them for a few minutes everyday.  I also recommend you check out this post from HP Mageson    



  I am new but not, see I have been researching satanism for years now. Last year I did the ritual making my belief and faith official. That night and the day after I felt incredible, absolutely amazing, like my entire being was lighter. And warm.

But since then, I just cannot meditate, maybe I'm trying too hard but it's so frustrating. I try every night and fail. I always say a small prayer every night. For him to help my mother (she has a lot of medical problems as well as stress) so I ask him to just help her a bit if she can. The only thing ask for myself every night is to one day open my spirit and feel him and all the spirits and some guidance on my spiritual path.

No matter what I do. I even Google medical for idiots. Try their ways, become I felt that if a soccer mom can do it with no problems. I shouldn't have any. But I can't. Maybe it's a lack of focus from just wanting something so bad.

I know all my Chakras are blocked, I can't clear them if I can't even get the basics down.

I have not Xian or any other religious chains. I don't think I've even been in a church so I don't think that's an issue.

does anyone have any advise on this, like some kind of method for someone who is blocked my himself? And who is probably his own worst enemy? Some kind of thing that you would recommend to extreme cases of mental blockage?

I'll take any advice I can get.

Thank you my brothers and sisters for your time

 

[kay_dogg_fox]

Meditation* not medical. Auto correct on here gives me issues

 

[magnum.arcanum]

Same here.  I love studying and learning and have been at it everyday for about at least 6 months now.  I've meditated before and love to meditate.  
When it comes time to do real meditations though, like on here, I stop myself.  I'm told by my psychic friend (free advice) who makes a living doing psychic readings that its because I was tortured and murdered when I was a Witch in a past life. And I've seen some scary things this life time.  But that's just my excuse.  
People have issues meditating.  Everybody is different.  For some its harder than others.  For me its really f'ing hard.
To solve the problem I made it an absolute priority.  I mean I don't eat unless I finish doing my meditations.  Basically, it has to be made "the" most important thing in your life, above that of eating and you have to do it the minute you get home from work or whatever.  Never try to wait until late, unless your doing a quick chakra cleaning or aura of protection.  
I just recently told myself that I will meditate daily and it is a requirement.  Its a struggle - but its happening.  
I think its hard because, we know what's going to happen and we are scared.  Its going to cause a profound change in our lives and we are scared.  You and I are going to see and confront things that would freak out the typical person.  Simple as that.  The difference - we know it already. 

---In , <kay_dogg_fox@... wrote :

I am new but not, see I have been researching satanism for years now. Last year I did the ritual making my belief and faith official. That night and the day after I felt incredible, absolutely amazing, like my entire being was lighter. And warm.

But since then, I just cannot meditate, maybe I'm trying too hard but it's so frustrating. I try every night and fail. I always say a small prayer every night. For him to help my mother (she has a lot of medical problems as well as stress) so I ask him to just help her a bit if she can. The only thing ask for myself every night is to one day open my spirit and feel him and all the spirits and some guidance on my spiritual path.

No matter what I do. I even Google medical for idiots. Try their ways, become I felt that if a soccer mom can do it with no problems. I shouldn't have any. But I can't. Maybe it's a lack of focus from just wanting something so bad.

I know all my Chakras are blocked, I can't clear them if I can't even get the basics down.

I have not Xian or any other religious chains. I don't think I've even been in a church so I don't think that's an issue.

does anyone have any advise on this, like some kind of method for someone who is blocked my himself? And who is probably his own worst enemy? Some kind of thing that you would recommend to extreme cases of mental blockage?

I'll take any advice I can get.

Thank you my brothers and sisters for your time

 

[Sims Motal]

Attachments :
<ol>Zevios Metathronos's 40 day program.pdf</ol>I think you are far, far too tense. That's what is sounds like to me. You seriously need to relax. I am thinking
you have not tried Zevios Metathronos's 40 day program. Therefore, I am sending it to you.

I believe if you do this that you will definitely find a difference.
Hail Father Satan!




--------------------------------------------




 










I am new but not, see I have been researching
satanism for years now. Last year I did the ritual making my
belief and faith official. That night and the day after I
felt incredible, absolutely amazing, like my entire being
was lighter. And warm.



But since then, I just cannot meditate, maybe I'm trying
too hard but it's so frustrating. I try every night and
fail. I always say a small prayer every night. For him to
help my mother (she has a lot of medical problems as well as
stress) so I ask him to just help her a bit if she can. The
only thing ask for myself every night is to one day open my
spirit and feel him and all the spirits and some guidance on
my spiritual path.



No matter what I do. I even Google medical for idiots. Try
their ways, become I felt that if a soccer mom can do it
with no problems. I shouldn't have any. But I
can't. Maybe it's a lack of focus from just wanting
something so bad.



I know all my Chakras are blocked, I can't clear them if
I can't even get the basics down.



I have not Xian or any other religious chains. I don't
think I've even been in a church so I don't think
that's an issue.



does anyone have any advise on this, like some kind of
method for someone who is blocked my himself? And who is
probably his own worst enemy? Some kind of thing that you
would recommend to extreme cases of mental blockage?



I'll take any advice I can get.



Thank you my brothers and sisters for your time









#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095 --
#yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp {
border:1px solid #d8d8d8;font-family:Arial;margin:10px
0;padding:0 10px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp hr {
border:1px solid #d8d8d8;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp #yiv8258993095hd {
color:#628c2a;font-size:85%;font-weight:700;line-height:122%;margin:10px
0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp #yiv8258993095ads {
margin-bottom:10px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp .yiv8258993095ad {
padding:0 0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp .yiv8258993095ad p {
margin:0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mkp .yiv8258993095ad a {
color:#0000ff;text-decoration:none;}
#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-sponsor
#yiv8258993095ygrp-lc {
font-family:Arial;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-sponsor
#yiv8258993095ygrp-lc #yiv8258993095hd {
margin:10px
0px;font-weight:700;font-size:78%;line-height:122%;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-sponsor
#yiv8258993095ygrp-lc .yiv8258993095ad {
margin-bottom:10px;padding:0 0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095actions {
font-family:Verdana;font-size:11px;padding:10px 0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095activity {
background-color:#e0ecee;float:left;font-family:Verdana;font-size:10px;padding:10px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095activity span {
font-weight:700;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095activity span:first-child {
text-transform:uppercase;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095activity span a {
color:#5085b6;text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095activity span span {
color:#ff7900;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095activity span
.yiv8258993095underline {
text-decoration:underline;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095attach {

clear:both;display:table;font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;padding:10px
0;width:400px;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095attach div a {
text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095attach img {
border:none;padding-right:5px;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095attach label {
display:block;margin-bottom:5px;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095attach label a {
text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 blockquote {
margin:0 0 0 4px;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095bold {
font-family:Arial;font-size:13px;font-weight:700;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095bold a {
text-decoration:none;}


#yiv8258993095 dd.yiv8258993095last p a {
font-family:Verdana;font-weight:700;}

#yiv8258993095 dd.yiv8258993095last p span {
margin-right:10px;font-family:Verdana;font-weight:700;}

#yiv8258993095 dd.yiv8258993095last p
span.yiv8258993095yshortcuts {
margin-right:0;}

#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095attach-table div div a {
text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095attach-table {
width:400px;}

#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095file-title a, #yiv8258993095
div.yiv8258993095file-title a:active, #yiv8258993095
div.yiv8258993095file-title a:hover, #yiv8258993095

div.yiv8258993095file-title a:visited {
text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095photo-title a,
#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095photo-title a:active,
#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095photo-title a:hover,
#yiv8258993095 div.yiv8258993095photo-title a:visited {
text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 div#yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg
#yiv8258993095ygrp-msg p a span.yiv8258993095yshortcuts {
font-family:Verdana;font-size:10px;font-weight:normal;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095green {
color:#628c2a;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095MsoNormal {
margin:0 0 0 0;}

#yiv8258993095 o {
font-size:0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095photos div {
float:left;width:72px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095photos div div {
border:1px solid
#666666;height:62px;overflow:hidden;width:62px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095photos div label {
color:#666666;font-size:10px;overflow:hidden;text-align:center;white-space:nowrap;width:64px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095reco-category {
font-size:77%;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095reco-desc {
font-size:77%;}

#yiv8258993095 .yiv8258993095replbq {
margin:4px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-actbar div a:first-child {
margin-right:2px;padding-right:5px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg {
font-size:13px;font-family:Arial, helvetica, clean,
sans-serif;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg table {
font-size:inherit;font:100%;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg select,
#yiv8258993095 input, #yiv8258993095 textarea {
font:99% Arial, Helvetica, clean, sans-serif;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg pre, #yiv8258993095
code {
font:115% monospace;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg * {
line-height:1.22em;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-mlmsg #yiv8258993095logo {
padding-bottom:10px;}


#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-msg p a {
font-family:Verdana;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-msg
p#yiv8258993095attach-count span {
color:#1E66AE;font-weight:700;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-reco
#yiv8258993095reco-head {
color:#ff7900;font-weight:700;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-reco {
margin-bottom:20px;padding:0px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-sponsor #yiv8258993095ov
li a {
font-size:130%;text-decoration:none;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-sponsor #yiv8258993095ov
li {
font-size:77%;list-style-type:square;padding:6px 0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-sponsor #yiv8258993095ov
ul {
margin:0;padding:0 0 0 8px;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-text {
font-family:Georgia;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-text p {
margin:0 0 1em 0;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-text tt {
font-size:120%;}

#yiv8258993095 #yiv8258993095ygrp-vital ul li:last-child {
border-right:none !important;
}
#yiv8258993095

 

[Bunneh Fufu]

  I am new but not, see I have been researching satanism for years now. Last year I did the ritual making my belief and faith official. That night and the day after I felt incredible, absolutely amazing, like my entire being was lighter. And warm.

But since then, I just cannot meditate, maybe I'm trying too hard but it's so frustrating. I try every night and fail. I always say a small prayer every night. For him to help my mother (she has a lot of medical problems as well as stress) so I ask him to just help her a bit if she can. The only thing ask for myself every night is to one day open my spirit and feel him and all the spirits and some guidance on my spiritual path.

No matter what I do. I even Google medical for idiots. Try their ways, become I felt that if a soccer mom can do it with no problems. I shouldn't have any. But I can't. Maybe it's a lack of focus from just wanting something so bad.

I know all my Chakras are blocked, I can't clear them if I can't even get the basics down.

I have not Xian or any other religious chains. I don't think I've even been in a church so I don't think that's an issue.

does anyone have any advise on this, like some kind of method for someone who is blocked my himself? And who is probably his own worst enemy? Some kind of thing that you would recommend to extreme cases of mental blockage?

I'll take any advice I can get.

Thank you my brothers and sisters for your time

[/QUOTE]

 

[yulia.bachman]

Regarding the meditation training; on this page:  on days 10 through 24, all the image links are broken. I have not been able to continue following the recommended training due to not knowing what the images are, I have tried to use wayback machine, but to no avail. I would like to continue my training and stop falling behind, but I need to know what these images are. Can anyone post a series of links to google images or something of these pictures? I'm sure I'm not the only one having issues with the training due to the lack of these images.

 

[kay_dogg_fox]

I really want to thank everyone for the advice. Means a grate deal. It definitely will help. But I want to re phrase want I ment. I'm not going at this with impatience or lack of confidence or anything like that. I do truly understand that this is not something that can be done over night. Or even years. My issue is that when I mediate, my head is just so.......I don't know a good word, I guess full? Or swimming with useless thoughts or something like that. And yes I'm well aware that's a super normal problem many people face in the beginning. But my mind works ever so Slightly different than most. I'm autistic, not the challenged kind (no disrespect to those with that) More like the bill Gates kind but with different I guess you could call them talents. My mind is always constantly moving in hundreds of different directions. So when I said extreme mental blockage. I guess that was the wrong thing to ask. I was sort of asking for any kind calming techniques that some of you mite know that works for you but perhaps not others. So the traditional "let your mind go blank" or breath counting, or focusing on the single point doesn't really work 100%. And I haven't really found a good way to zen out so to speak. So that's kinda what I was asking, I should of been more specific, I
apologize.

But the advice you've given will definitely help. Will try the 40 day one for sure.

Thanks again my brothers and sisters.

Hail Satan

 

[aquallascott]

I had the same problem. Have you looked at your astrology chart? That could definitely factor in your lack of focus. You could find out what planets are contributing to your lack of focus and do squares to offset them as well.
For example my chart ruler is Mercury, and Mercury is in Pisces which makes it difficult to focus especially being my chart ruler. Moon aspects mercury, Mercury aspects Neptune, and Jupiter aspects Neptune in my chart. All of these deal with either a lack of focus or a tendency for the mind to wonder off and day dream. I have a difficult time learning things, but when I do I'm extremely good at them to say the least. I still have trouble with meditation sometimes, we all do. (Major thanks to Teloc Vovim for helping me out with my chart)
You need to really focus on void meditation, simple as that combined with the attention you should give to your chart. Void meditation in the morning and candle meditation at night. It's just about consistency. start out with 30 seconds of being completely focused and add 5 seconds every few days. Take it slow, you're on the right path now, there is no need to rush! 

 

[Magus Immortalis]

Found under Library of Thoth in Updates on the JoS site:\
  \
\
\
\
  Regarding the meditation training; on this page:  on days 10 through 24, all the image links are broken. I have not been able to continue following the recommended training due to not knowing what the images are, I have tried to use wayback machine, but to no avail. I would like to continue my training and stop falling behind, but I need to know what these images are. Can anyone post a series of links to google images or something of these pictures? I'm sure I'm not the only one having issues with the training due to the lack of these images. \
\

 

[Magus Immortalis]

\
\
On Sunday, January 18, 2015 6:43 PM, Magus Immortalis <magus.immortalis@... wrote:\
\
\
Found under Library of Thoth in Updates on the JoS site:\
  \
\
\
\
  Regarding the meditation training; on this page:  on days 10 through 24, all the image links are broken. I have not been able to continue following the recommended training due to not knowing what the images are, I have tried to use wayback machine, but to no avail. I would like to continue my training and stop falling behind, but I need to know what these images are. Can anyone post a series of links to google images or something of these pictures? I'm sure I'm not the only one having issues with the training due to the lack of these images. \
\
\
\

 

[Magus Immortalis]

\
Found under Library of Thoth in Updates on the JoS site:\
\
  On Sunday, January 18, 2015 6:43 PM, Magus Immortalis <magus.immortalis@... wrote:\
\
\
Found under Library of Thoth in Updates on the JoS site:\
  \
\
\
\
  Regarding the meditation training; on this page:  on days 10 through 24, all the image links are broken. I have not been able to continue following the recommended training due to not knowing what the images are, I have tried to use wayback machine, but to no avail. I would like to continue my training and stop falling behind, but I need to know what these images are. Can anyone post a series of links to google images or something of these pictures? I'm sure I'm not the only one having issues with the training due to the lack of these images. \
\
\
\

 

[Light Yagami]

There is sooo much negativity in your message!I see that many people responded to you but I would also like to add something here... You say you do not have any chains with xtianity and the like but really, how can you tell? Even if you do not go to the church... Isn't your mother a christian? Since you're still new here, your parents' (and other people to whom you're close)' beliefs greatly affect you. This is what I've come to realize after some years of meditating.\
\
I advice you to first of all put yourself BEFORE your mother, before anyone else. Put yourself first. I know it sounds hard but it shouldn't be. And if it sounds unethical, then you need to realize that it's not. If YOU are not healthy, if you are not okay, then it doesn't matter how the people around you are. Put YOURSELF first! Then everyone else in whichever order you want!\
Now, you could try cutting links with your mother... This is the best I can suggest you because it seems like she's sucking too much energy from you (I know, because I also had this experience)..\
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpent ... ching.html\
  \
\
If this is extremely hard for you (which, I assume it is) you can just do step one: "use an astral knife, saw, a laser, or whatever you are comfortable working with, and dislodge the connections completely from your chakra, one at a time, while vibrating the seed mantra "TH" and focus this vibration where the connection is being severed. Breathe in, visualize the tool brightening up with white/gold light, and on the exhale, vibrate the TH." \
\
Στις 5:01 π.μ. Δευτέρα, 19 Ιανουαρίου 2015, ο/η "Magus Immortalis magus.immortalis@... [JoyofSatan666]" έγραψε:\
\
\
  \
Found under Library of Thoth in Updates on the JoS site:\
\
  On Sunday, January 18, 2015 6:43 PM, Magus Immortalis <magus.immortalis@... wrote:\
\
\
Found under Library of Thoth in Updates on the JoS site:\
  \
\
\
\
  Regarding the meditation training; on this page:  on days 10 through 24, all the image links are broken. I have not been able to continue following the recommended training due to not knowing what the images are, I have tried to use wayback machine, but to no avail. I would like to continue my training and stop falling behind, but I need to know what these images are. Can anyone post a series of links to google images or something of these pictures? I'm sure I'm not the only one having issues with the training due to the lack of these images. \
\
\
\
\
\

 

[kay_dogg_fox]

Light, first and foremost. I appreciate the advice from you. And all who have replied. It did definitely help.

But the message wasn't ment to be negative. More being frustrated then being a downer on things. The feeling of being weak. In terms of how sum can do it without much issues, when I struggle. Not to say I want it over night, it's just the empty mind part, and clear it of thoughts and get the foundation down. I don't want to have to box of Legos right away. Just the blank empty sheet to start on. And put the Legos on one at a time over a long time. It's just getting the blank sheet.

As far is knowing of I haven't ties. I know I don't. I have rejected all religion day one. It never felt right. I thought the whole concept of religion was stupid. I was a man of logic and science. That was until I had my awakening.

My mother is not Christian in the typical sense. Never has gone to church. She just says her prayers at night. That's pretty much it. Other then having a passion for Elvis had his music. She knows I am a satanist. She knows I am a person of logic and science. If I believe there is something to it. She thinks there must be something to it. I explain to her
All the lies and B.S of Xians. Now she even has doubts in her belief.

But I cannot cut her off from me. I live with her, she depends on me. I am doing more and more for me all the time.

And since the weeks I've posted this. I have made some progress. Meditation is get easier. A few night ago while voiding, I heard a voice say my name. In a whisper. I don't know what that means exactly. But I feel that was a good sign, a feel of relief. As if someone gave me a hand up after I fell.

I'm not sure what you mean about saws, blades, or lazers to cut ties.

But I am making progress, even if it's slow going. Progress is still progress. And I feel much better

 

[Light Yagami]

@kay_dogg I'm happy that you've making progress. My response to you wasn't as detailed as it should have been because I didn't have time to write. I gave you a link but the information in there is not exactly what I wanted to tell you.So here: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/Joy ... ics/127306Hopefully you will be able to read the message. If you do not, then search the topic: Do you feel tired, headaches or even stomachaches for no reason?
I had been wanting to write about this topic for a long time but because I always knew that it would be a really big message (it needs lots of explaining) I was constantly postponing it.
But the time finally came to write it. It is an enormous message but I'm sure you'll find it veeeery helpful. It has nothing to do with "cutting ties with your mother" (literally). You will basically... eh, just read it 'cause it's too much to explain again. XD
But once more, I'm glad you've been making progress despite all that! Keep strong, patient and persistent!Also, here's a youtube channel http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm38z0KRxd_XY58wEzPDliQ that might help you with visualization. And also some of the things I've written from past experiences: http://twinss-r.tumblr.com/Zevism (scroll down where it says: "[/B]My own experiences & advices [written for the joyofSatan group; you’ll find a link of the group in the templeofzeus.org page]"
I hope it'll help.


Στις 10:57 π.μ. Παρασκευή, 23 Ιανουαρίου 2015, ο/η "kay_dogg_fox@... [JoyofSatan666]" έγραψε:


  Light, first and foremost. I appreciate the advice from you. And all who have replied. It did definitely help.

But the message wasn't ment to be negative. More being frustrated then being a downer on things. The feeling of being weak. In terms of how sum can do it without much issues, when I struggle. Not to say I want it over night, it's just the empty mind part, and clear it of thoughts and get the foundation down. I don't want to have to box of Legos right away. Just the blank empty sheet to start on. And put the Legos on one at a time over a long time. It's just getting the blank sheet.

As far is knowing of I haven't ties. I know I don't. I have rejected all religion day one. It never felt right. I thought the whole concept of religion was stupid. I was a man of logic and science. That was until I had my awakening.

My mother is not Christian in the typical sense. Never has gone to church. She just says her prayers at night. That's pretty much it. Other then having a passion for Elvis had his music. She knows I am a satanist. She knows I am a person of logic and science. If I believe there is something to it. She thinks there must be something to it. I explain to her
All the lies and B.S of Xians. Now she even has doubts in her belief.

But I cannot cut her off from me. I live with her, she depends on me. I am doing more and more for me all the time.

And since the weeks I've posted this. I have made some progress. Meditation is get easier. A few night ago while voiding, I heard a voice say my name. In a whisper. I don't know what that means exactly. But I feel that was a good sign, a feel of relief. As if someone gave me a hand up after I fell.

I'm not sure what you mean about saws, blades, or lazers to cut ties.

But I am making progress, even if it's slow going. Progress is still progress. And I feel much better

 

[Katie Blundell]

Hi,
I knew from reading your first message exactly what you meant. I have autism as well and it can make meditation extremely hard, I understand that.
I have been a satanist for about 3 or 4 months and still struggle with meditation. I know the struggle coz I know how busy the mind can get.
(It's 1 person speaks but then a load more speak at the same time then more etc.)
What I find easiest is to keep trying everyday when ever you have time, I find my mind tends to be most empty an easier to think or meditate listening to music.
I know what it is like to have autism I have it as well.
Here if you need me bro.

Katie
Hail satan
Sent from my iPhone

[/QUOTE]

  I really want to thank everyone for the advice. Means a grate deal. It definitely will help. But I want to re phrase want I ment. I'm not going at this with impatience or lack of confidence or anything like that. I do truly understand that this is not something that can be done over night. Or even years. My issue is that when I mediate, my head is just so.......I don't know a good word, I guess full? Or swimming with useless thoughts or something like that. And yes I'm well aware that's a super normal problem many people face in the beginning. But my mind works ever so Slightly different than most. I'm autistic, not the challenged kind (no disrespect to those with that) More like the bill Gates kind but with different I guess you could call them talents. My mind is always constantly moving in hundreds of different directions. So when I said extreme mental blockage. I guess that was the wrong thing to ask. I was sort of asking for any kind calming techniques that some of you mite know that works for you but perhaps not others. So the traditional "let your mind go blank" or breath counting, or focusing on the single point doesn't really work 100%. And I haven't really found a good way to zen out so to speak. So that's kinda what I was asking, I should of been more specific, I
apologize.

But the advice you've given will definitely help. Will try the 40 day one for sure.

Thanks again my brothers and sisters.

Hail Satan

 

[descipleofthegods13]

Good thing Kay_Dogg. It's a good thing to see someone making progress, and never quitting.

Man, I love this place, our cause, being a Satanist, and what we have together.

It's a good feeling, warm.

HAIL SATAN!!

SAY IT LOUD AND PROUD!!