@WiseDragon advice was so good
I want to expand on this from another point of view
What I will say is based only my understanding and experience, not related to you alone, but too members who will read this too, anyone feel free to correct me if i am wrong in some points.
I had a more intense bad experiences than this, and what I will explain solved this.
Do you come from muslim background?
I do not want to validate or invalidate the influence you are feeling.
if you think about it , we are in a universe where every person is vibrating thoughts so everyone is influencing everyone, so it does not have to be an attack from an ennemy so that you feel influence( my theory ) it may even be yourself influencing yourself, your old self starving and not letting you advance, or because of some subconscious block causing this
but i do not like to think of it that way it makes me feel weak, i just assume there is only me and my thoughts and i forget about the rest.
First, from the way you write, you are calm. I strongly believe you are okay. Know that no one can force will on you unless you conform. And if it is possible to “influence” you to do or not do something, feeling that your will is forced will only make you submissive.
Trust me, give this a try: boldly feel you are free. If banishing rituals exist, you can use them to banish enemy entities, so your will is stronger; otherwise, banishing rituals wouldn’t exist.
Forget and do not entertain thoughts that you are under influence. Since even if we suppose it is real or even if the influence leaves you on its own with the power of your mind you will be maintaining the influence, like if you are cursing yourself, Imagine as if enemy entities / ennemy curses do not exist, as if you are an insane person if you think they do. Forget completely about them, about curses or attacks.
If you listen to satanic music that has the “satanic vibe,” stop for a moment. Listen to beautiful flutes or something like that. Burn some incense in your house(just for the mood) . Before you do a ritual, have a walk outside and focus on beautiful trees, etc. Try the ritual in daytime, choose a God you feel drawn to . Do ritual in a way of enjoying it instead of feeling like work. Think of the God you will do the ritual to, and you can pray or talk to Him, then start the ritual. If you have the same feeling, just neglect it. Boldly feel you are okay, and do the ritual.
Sometimes some feelings related to meditation, or just some random feelings if you interpret them as an external influence, you will go insane.
There is placebo and there is also nocebo.
From google AI:
NOCEBO (from Latin
nocēbō,
"I shall harm") is the opposite of a placebo, where negative expectations or beliefs about a treatment or situation cause harmful effects, symptoms, or worsening of a condition, even if the treatment is inactive or harmless. It's a mind-body phenomenon where expecting bad outcomes (like side effects from a pill, or feeling worse after a diagnosis) makes them happen, demonstrating how fear, suggestion, and conditioning can trigger real physical or psychological distress.
Do you vape? The pain is in the chest or heart? Do you drink enough water daily? Is your posture good? Do you have stress in your life? I once had pain in my heart; when I visited the doctor, he told me it was stress. He gave me a medicine like a vitamin, not something harsh, and I became good.
Concerning not feeling like doing a ritual: when I checked the Zeus ritual, I saw it is so long that I felt like I should not do it, I felt lazy. Same sometimes when I am going through a ritual and find a rune I do not enjoy its sound as much as other runes. I sometimes feel I am doing the bare minimum, and I have to refocus to be able to do it fully. So this is normal, especially when the ritual is long and you are not much in the mood. Try doing a ritual you love outside of schedule, and you won’t feel this. I refuse to believe resistance is coming from external influence to avoid the nocebo which will turn me into the baby who hold his hair and cry and refuse to release his hair with his little cute hand
In all this reply, one thing I am sure about: if you continue feeling your will is being controlled, and that the feeling of “I do not feel like doing ritual” is coming from external influence, you will start experiencing it as if it really is an influence from an external source. Even more than that, it will escalate in a way you won’t believe.
Do aura of protection and before sleep affirm you are protected, it helped me with nightmares which they too give feeling that you are under attack..
Finally, those are just my thoughts, i hope they help.
