Planewalker
New member
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2025
- Messages
- 1
I didn't know where to look for information post-kundalini, and I didn't feel the presence of any spirit or guardian demon that had much interest in my growth. Sure, there were some that were helpful that gave useful hints along the way, but none ever stuck around for long. I'm not good at relationships in the "real world", so go figure. I was stuck for a solid year where I didn't feel like I was progressing, so I experimented with psilocybin. I took quite a lot for my first attempt, 1 full "wonky bar" chocolate, which was about 4g of concentrated psilocybin. Just to clarify, 4g of concentrated psilocybin =/ 4g of shrooms.
Ya, so I'll admit this experiment was quite recklace, but being recklace has been the only way I've been able to get anything done. People told me the kundalini couldn't be done until one was "ready"; I found a way to do it anyway, though painfully. People told me not to take psilocybin, because I wouldn't have "control" of the experience, but we never have much control of any experience in life. I figured if I was going to take it, why take just a small amount? Do it fully or don't bother, another useful practice on my path thus far.
The experience was pretty wild. I had quite a lot of control over the high at first, since I had been in meditative states often before. My physical senses were significantly amplified, I could even hear the frequencies of my electrical devices. I could hear everything going on in my house as clearly as if it was in the same room as me. My sense of smell was perhaps the most significantly amplifed, compared to it I've lived nose blind my whole life. My energy sensitivity was pretty intense too, I could feel and see it without any conscious effort on my part.
Then came the true peak of the high. I could feel it coming before it did, which startled me. I felt the presence of something else in the room, something angry and not friendly what so ever. So I laid in my bed and entered the closest I could to sensory deprivation I could at a moments notice, wearing earmuffs and my eyes closed. I then slowly began to enter a forced trance state, where I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I could still see my surroundings with my eyes closed in the dark, not sure how that worked. I saw a cieling tile morph and twist in impossible ways, and it acted as a sort of portal for the presence approaching me.
This thing was super pissed that I thought I was worthy to have this experience. It was speaking directly to my subconscious, something I couldn't "hear" but responded to anyway? It then got pissed off with me speaking to it consciously, it told me something along the lines of "words are stupid, don't use them". It called itself the teacher, and wouldn't share its true name with me. It asked if I thought I was a good person, I said yes because I've made sacrifices for what I believe. It then did some sort of karmic/aura scan on me, one that I could physically feel.
The next part I hardly remember, because the conversation became much more complex. The result however was that this "teacher" completely broke down my ego until none of it was left, and it left me in that state, totally blank. I was stuck in a labrinth of mirrors, probably metaphorically, where every minute detail of my identity was challenged and surrendered. I saw myself as a lonely shade overturning rocks, hopelessly searching for some sort of key that doesn't exist.
I told the teacher "I am therefore I am", and immediately broke out of the forced trance state. Who I am is who I choose to be, and I am self evident. The twisting cieling tile that represented the teacher then became a black hole that revealed a word, "ubermench" (actual spelling of the word I saw, probably spelt wrong). I could tell just by looking at this word that it was vital to my ascention to godhood, that it was the key I've been searching for for years.
I then checked whether this word meant anything online, and saw it was actually spoken about by Friedrich Nietzsche. I never read his work, and didn't remember coming across the word "ubermensch" meaningfully until then. Later I came to realize that while his concept of the ubermensch was similar to what I saw, it wasn't exactly the same.
Now the fun part... I used this "key" to extend my high after the chemical influence and had a state of "psychosis" for about two straight months. I barely slept, barely ate, continued having improved senses and could work with energy effortlessly. The cost of this was becoming extremely prone to stress and anxiety, and I was more vulnerable to the effects of coffee and alcohol.
After that job was over, I went home totally crashed from the stress I dealt with. I got pissed off thinking about all of the bullshit I had to deal with for the past two weeks, and sent energy to my TV. I did this between 30 minutes to an hour, just pumping all of my hatred out to the TV... The TV then started making this high pitch squealing sound that I thought was in my head at first, but then it started shooting out white smoke that smelt like battery acid. I was getting gassed like a jew at Auschwitz. I then unplugged the TV and carried it outside, where I noticed a hole was burnted out of it on the back. Sure, the TV was dusty around that spot, but I've never even heard of a TV catching fire. It was working perfectly normal just an hour ago.
After that incident, I decided it was time to calm the fuck down and end my synthetic high. It ended within minutes.
Recently I was speaking about this experience with some people I know, who think I'm totally insane btw, and they wanted to know who the teacher was. I saw the teacher with a pure crystaline green aura, which at least to me suggests synchronicity to Mercury. Mercury of course is related to Hermes, who is of course related to Hermeticism. I thought "Hermes, or something related to him" was a valid answer. Logically, I think it makes enough sense.
I didn't even get into the real crazy stuff here btw, because I feel like I'm already being plenty edgy enough as it is. Thought I'd share this experience to you all regardless. It gave me another opportunity to process it for myself as well. Thanks I guess.
Laterz.
Ya, so I'll admit this experiment was quite recklace, but being recklace has been the only way I've been able to get anything done. People told me the kundalini couldn't be done until one was "ready"; I found a way to do it anyway, though painfully. People told me not to take psilocybin, because I wouldn't have "control" of the experience, but we never have much control of any experience in life. I figured if I was going to take it, why take just a small amount? Do it fully or don't bother, another useful practice on my path thus far.
The experience was pretty wild. I had quite a lot of control over the high at first, since I had been in meditative states often before. My physical senses were significantly amplified, I could even hear the frequencies of my electrical devices. I could hear everything going on in my house as clearly as if it was in the same room as me. My sense of smell was perhaps the most significantly amplifed, compared to it I've lived nose blind my whole life. My energy sensitivity was pretty intense too, I could feel and see it without any conscious effort on my part.
Then came the true peak of the high. I could feel it coming before it did, which startled me. I felt the presence of something else in the room, something angry and not friendly what so ever. So I laid in my bed and entered the closest I could to sensory deprivation I could at a moments notice, wearing earmuffs and my eyes closed. I then slowly began to enter a forced trance state, where I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I could still see my surroundings with my eyes closed in the dark, not sure how that worked. I saw a cieling tile morph and twist in impossible ways, and it acted as a sort of portal for the presence approaching me.
This thing was super pissed that I thought I was worthy to have this experience. It was speaking directly to my subconscious, something I couldn't "hear" but responded to anyway? It then got pissed off with me speaking to it consciously, it told me something along the lines of "words are stupid, don't use them". It called itself the teacher, and wouldn't share its true name with me. It asked if I thought I was a good person, I said yes because I've made sacrifices for what I believe. It then did some sort of karmic/aura scan on me, one that I could physically feel.
The next part I hardly remember, because the conversation became much more complex. The result however was that this "teacher" completely broke down my ego until none of it was left, and it left me in that state, totally blank. I was stuck in a labrinth of mirrors, probably metaphorically, where every minute detail of my identity was challenged and surrendered. I saw myself as a lonely shade overturning rocks, hopelessly searching for some sort of key that doesn't exist.
I told the teacher "I am therefore I am", and immediately broke out of the forced trance state. Who I am is who I choose to be, and I am self evident. The twisting cieling tile that represented the teacher then became a black hole that revealed a word, "ubermench" (actual spelling of the word I saw, probably spelt wrong). I could tell just by looking at this word that it was vital to my ascention to godhood, that it was the key I've been searching for for years.
I then checked whether this word meant anything online, and saw it was actually spoken about by Friedrich Nietzsche. I never read his work, and didn't remember coming across the word "ubermensch" meaningfully until then. Later I came to realize that while his concept of the ubermensch was similar to what I saw, it wasn't exactly the same.
Now the fun part... I used this "key" to extend my high after the chemical influence and had a state of "psychosis" for about two straight months. I barely slept, barely ate, continued having improved senses and could work with energy effortlessly. The cost of this was becoming extremely prone to stress and anxiety, and I was more vulnerable to the effects of coffee and alcohol.
After that job was over, I went home totally crashed from the stress I dealt with. I got pissed off thinking about all of the bullshit I had to deal with for the past two weeks, and sent energy to my TV. I did this between 30 minutes to an hour, just pumping all of my hatred out to the TV... The TV then started making this high pitch squealing sound that I thought was in my head at first, but then it started shooting out white smoke that smelt like battery acid. I was getting gassed like a jew at Auschwitz. I then unplugged the TV and carried it outside, where I noticed a hole was burnted out of it on the back. Sure, the TV was dusty around that spot, but I've never even heard of a TV catching fire. It was working perfectly normal just an hour ago.
After that incident, I decided it was time to calm the fuck down and end my synthetic high. It ended within minutes.
Recently I was speaking about this experience with some people I know, who think I'm totally insane btw, and they wanted to know who the teacher was. I saw the teacher with a pure crystaline green aura, which at least to me suggests synchronicity to Mercury. Mercury of course is related to Hermes, who is of course related to Hermeticism. I thought "Hermes, or something related to him" was a valid answer. Logically, I think it makes enough sense.
I didn't even get into the real crazy stuff here btw, because I feel like I'm already being plenty edgy enough as it is. Thought I'd share this experience to you all regardless. It gave me another opportunity to process it for myself as well. Thanks I guess.
Laterz.
