Emo Rant

[experiment69x]

How do I feel? I feel like Im in some sort of constant pain 24/7. My chest hurts, my throat hurts, my abdomen hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts. It feels as though Im being tortured everyday..even in the most subtle ways. But rarely will I come out with it.. I dont want to let others think Im one of those people who constantly complains about their depression. Because I hate those who do that. But I dont want to tell anyone.. No adult, at least. Because I don't want to lose everything Ive worked for.
But I am never satisfied. Never satisfied with who I have, what I am, what I have, what my life is. All I want to do is die. I want to die. But why? Because I am never satisfied... I feel hopeless. Everything feels the same. Nothing changes. Nothing changes. Nothing changes.People are mean without realizing such. But at the same time, I don't want special treatment. 
I only feel some happiness in my sleep.. Im just unhappy. Why? Why am I never satisfied? Is it because Im just feeling this way right now that I think Im never satisfied?  Or is it because when Im not feeling this way, Im blind to all the things that I should realize arn't making me happy?
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY? WHY DO I SEE THE WORLD SO DIFFERENTLY? WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT? WHY AM I A GREY SHEEP!? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FAKE!? 
Nothing is real.Nothing is real to me.Im just in a temporary state.I have no motivation for meditation.. No motivation for anything. I dont want help. But I need it.At the same time.. I just want to keep to myself. Because in the end, I am all I have. My mind is dangerous, but the safest place for me to escape to.
I just need some strength... But I cant give it to myself... I need help...
But I just.. I just also have an almost overwhelming need, a crave, to murder everyone in sight. Just to tear them apart, shred them, rip their organs out. Only then will I be ... Satisfied? Im angry. I realize this now. Why do I have such tame anger? Just.. Let me.. TEAR THEM APART
I'm just so...emo

 

[Sims336]

Looks to me like you are a trolling nut-case.

Hail Satan!


Sims


--------------------------------------------




 









How
do I feel? I feel like Im in some sort of constant pain
24/7. My chest hurts, my throat hurts, my abdomen hurts, my
head hurts, my heart hurts. It feels as though Im being
tortured everyday..even in the most subtle ways. But rarely
will I come out with it.. I dont want to let others think Im
one of those people who constantly complains about their
depression. Because I hate those who do that. But I dont
want to tell anyone.. No adult, at least. Because I
don't want to lose everything Ive worked for.
But I am never satisfied. Never
satisfied with who I have, what I am, what I have, what my
life is. All I want to do is die. I want to die. But why?
Because I am never satisfied... I feel hopeless. Everything
feels the same. Nothing changes. Nothing changes. Nothing
changes.People are mean without realizing such. But
at the same time, I don't want special
treatment. 
I only feel some
happiness in my sleep.. Im just unhappy. Why? Why am I never
satisfied? Is it because Im just feeling this way right now
that I think Im never satisfied?  Or is it because when Im
not feeling this way, Im blind to all the things that I
should realize arn't making me happy?
WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY? WHY DO I SEE THE
WORLD SO DIFFERENTLY? WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT? WHY AM I A GREY
SHEEP!? WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FAKE!? 
Nothing is real.Nothing is real
to me.Im just in a temporary state.I have no
motivation for meditation.. No motivation for
anything. I dont want help. But I need it.At
the same time.. I just want to keep to myself. Because in
the end, I am all I have. My mind is dangerous, but the
safest place for me to escape to.
I just need some
strength... But I cant give it to myself... I need
help...
But I just.. I just
also have an almost overwhelming need, a crave, to murder
everyone in sight. Just to tear them apart, shred them, rip
their organs out. Only then will I be ... Satisfied? Im
angry. I realize this now. Why do I have such tame anger?
Just.. Let me.. TEAR THEM APART
I'm just so...emo











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[Taol]

You need to start working on yourself. Depression is often caused by low bio-electricity (or people that make you feel bad and eventually it leads to the same thing, low bioelectricity).


K so here are a couple of things you should do at least: Aura cleaning. Twice a day. Aura of protection. At least twice a day, better is more often for the strength.

Now your bio-electricity needs to go up, so hatha yoga wouldn't be a bad idea to start with. (if you are able to do so). Also look through the meditation section for the foundation meditation, and if you haven't yet, take a look at the 40 day meditation program from Zevios.

 


Now there are other things you can do but I can't tell if you are a beginner or a longer term member, If you are a beginner make sure you did the dedication ritual before plunging on into the power meditations. But remember it must be done of your free will.

Oh and read this page:
Overcoming Obstacles  
As for those comments.. You need to start standing up for yourself. If it is rude and hurts you then let them know. TELL THEM. Hit them in the face if you need to. (just don't do it to teachers or people that are above you but NEVER let them walk over you either).



You seem to be totally fed up with the world as it is now. I can not help you with that, but you definitely should ask for guidance from Father Satan.

Maybe others have some tips for you.