satanicpagan2
New member
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2007
- Messages
- 1
(Yeah, I'm nekoberii. =P The name is just showing the path I'm on right now, transitioning and stuff. Getting use to it, etc.)
I last posted a message about what happened during Easter weekend, about me a paper and stuff. (I think it was called "I need to let this out" or something.) So, over that I've hard a few dreams. Two I remember slightly, one I just remember a line and what brought up that line, and about another that happened around...Sunday? Maybe...
The first one was this: Someone was in my room while I was sleeping, and I moved the covers over my head. Then, I felt the mattress move down on the left side, like someone was placing their hand on it, and then again on the right side of the mattress, and then it felt like they were moving towards me and around that time I kind of had a shudder, or a chill going down my spine (Only it was a warm chill? lol), and then visualized my witch pendent. Then? I woke up, for real, and turned to my door to see if it was open. It was closed.
Moving the covers over my head is a normal reaction of mine, it's either that or I keep pretending I'm sleeping. I only do this when someone is in my room.
The second one, I just remember a line. "...like a paralyzed cat." This was said while my friend shown me a "medicine" that was labeled "God". I kind of take the line as more or less a metaphor in some way. (When my friend shown me the "medicine" I did not think of the Judeo-Christian God now that I remember. I remember having a brief remembrance of the line/belief "become like gods".)
The third one involved a castle, 4 girls fighting ( I think. I was one of the girls.) And a Queen, obviously. I remember blue light hitting something (though I don't know what that something is.) and the queen saying something about how Brigid is my Patron Goddess and how Satan is the Patron [God] of the castle. Which gave me an answer to one thing, and I've been transitioning onto the path of a polytheistic Satanist, right now the better term would be Pagan-Satanist.
Brigid is a Celtic Goddess, by the way. Originally. When Christianity came to the Celts, they more or less refused to be Christians if the Brigid was not involved in some way. The Christians made her into a saint but they could not hide what her origins were, what she originally was. It seeped through and you can tell. (Obviously, it was to convert the Celts into Christianity. I mean, you wouldn't win anyone over if you demonized a beloved Goddess.)I prefer to think of her as a Goddess, though.
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I also decided to add a bit of my background. lol
I was Christian influenced as a child. I believed in Satan, God, Heaven and Hell. Never Jesus. I believed all good people, no matter what their beliefs were, went to Heaven and extremely bad people went to hell. I spent a lot of time in nature and with animals. (This was a major factor later on, now that I realize it.)
Eventually, I because a Wiccan because 1. I was tired of God. (Not my proudest reason) 2. Nature, as I pointed out, was a huge part of my life. That was something that drew me to Wicca and Paganism.
I then went from Wicca (what I call a demented child...lol) to Eclectic Paganism and had been that for a while, then came across here last year, while searching for either Satanism or Luciferianism, and had been a Satanist for 3 months, guilt got to me, and I left. I claimed to be Pagan, but when I look back I was merely confused and only labeled myself to deceive myself into think I wasn't.
I went Agnostic for a bit, realizing I still believed in Satan and still held beliefs that the JoS has. I studied Satanism and other religions in that time. While I was considering Satanism, I had realized I held Pagan beliefs AND Satanic beliefs at the same time, which left me at a stand still. Now? well, *points to name*. I believe stuff from JoS, and I believe stuff from theisticsatanism, stuff from experience, etc.
I last posted a message about what happened during Easter weekend, about me a paper and stuff. (I think it was called "I need to let this out" or something.) So, over that I've hard a few dreams. Two I remember slightly, one I just remember a line and what brought up that line, and about another that happened around...Sunday? Maybe...
The first one was this: Someone was in my room while I was sleeping, and I moved the covers over my head. Then, I felt the mattress move down on the left side, like someone was placing their hand on it, and then again on the right side of the mattress, and then it felt like they were moving towards me and around that time I kind of had a shudder, or a chill going down my spine (Only it was a warm chill? lol), and then visualized my witch pendent. Then? I woke up, for real, and turned to my door to see if it was open. It was closed.
Moving the covers over my head is a normal reaction of mine, it's either that or I keep pretending I'm sleeping. I only do this when someone is in my room.
The second one, I just remember a line. "...like a paralyzed cat." This was said while my friend shown me a "medicine" that was labeled "God". I kind of take the line as more or less a metaphor in some way. (When my friend shown me the "medicine" I did not think of the Judeo-Christian God now that I remember. I remember having a brief remembrance of the line/belief "become like gods".)
The third one involved a castle, 4 girls fighting ( I think. I was one of the girls.) And a Queen, obviously. I remember blue light hitting something (though I don't know what that something is.) and the queen saying something about how Brigid is my Patron Goddess and how Satan is the Patron [God] of the castle. Which gave me an answer to one thing, and I've been transitioning onto the path of a polytheistic Satanist, right now the better term would be Pagan-Satanist.
Brigid is a Celtic Goddess, by the way. Originally. When Christianity came to the Celts, they more or less refused to be Christians if the Brigid was not involved in some way. The Christians made her into a saint but they could not hide what her origins were, what she originally was. It seeped through and you can tell. (Obviously, it was to convert the Celts into Christianity. I mean, you wouldn't win anyone over if you demonized a beloved Goddess.)I prefer to think of her as a Goddess, though.
------------------------
I also decided to add a bit of my background. lol
I was Christian influenced as a child. I believed in Satan, God, Heaven and Hell. Never Jesus. I believed all good people, no matter what their beliefs were, went to Heaven and extremely bad people went to hell. I spent a lot of time in nature and with animals. (This was a major factor later on, now that I realize it.)
Eventually, I because a Wiccan because 1. I was tired of God. (Not my proudest reason) 2. Nature, as I pointed out, was a huge part of my life. That was something that drew me to Wicca and Paganism.
I then went from Wicca (what I call a demented child...lol) to Eclectic Paganism and had been that for a while, then came across here last year, while searching for either Satanism or Luciferianism, and had been a Satanist for 3 months, guilt got to me, and I left. I claimed to be Pagan, but when I look back I was merely confused and only labeled myself to deceive myself into think I wasn't.
I went Agnostic for a bit, realizing I still believed in Satan and still held beliefs that the JoS has. I studied Satanism and other religions in that time. While I was considering Satanism, I had realized I held Pagan beliefs AND Satanic beliefs at the same time, which left me at a stand still. Now? well, *points to name*. I believe stuff from JoS, and I believe stuff from theisticsatanism, stuff from experience, etc.
