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Deep Depression.

Avatarserpentwalker6662 min to read

Hello, I will make this brief as I am short of time.

Basically for some years now I've experienced an almost unceasing depression and lack of emotions. For whatever reasons this has persisted despite consistent advancement.

It's enough to where people get concerned about me. It's like I don't feel emotions and I can't feel happiness, love, and all sorts of things.

It used to be less and vary in intensity some years ago so it wasn't as bad. But now it's severe enough to where I've recently had my therapist concerned, as I feel almost essentially nothing.

All I seem to be able to feel is anger, or sadness. when dealing with intense situations or circumstances. 90% of the time. A flat line nothing.

Only thing that gets me excited in programming, science. Or the Joy of Satanas.

I don't feel the regular family attachments you are supposed to feel with loved ones. They love me, and I do love them, but I don't feel anything at all. This goes for like everything.

It's made it very hard to relate with my wife and children lately, and I feel like a bad person or something, as I don't know what's wrong with me.

I've done some workings on my mental health over the years.

But to be truthful at this point I'm at a complete loss and I don't know what I should do.

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“Come to me, O Lord IAO, great Zeus-Ammon, hidden fire, all-seeing one, ram-horned, first and last, who rules from the sun.”
— PGM V.96–172

“I am Atum, when I was alone in Nun. I am the beginning and the end.”
— Coffin Texts, Spell 714

(Enki of Eridu, Lord of the Earth -- Poem)
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=87236

#1

Ave,

what you describe sounds familiar but it is always different with the specific circumstances of each person.

I used to be severely depressed, suicidal and felt nothing for my close ones.

That changed gradually as my mental, physical and psychological situation improved thus giving me a chance to focus on those emotional connections that were lacking. So, basically the better the overall shape that you're in the more you can work on those areas.

You're surely not a bad person but rather a damaged one which can be mended with time and much effort.

You will heal just keep working on yourself. I'm sorry that I can't offer you concrete advice on how to deal with this only encouragement.

Brother https://ancient-forums.com/members/blitzkreig-jg.21286/ or someone else who is knowledgeable in healing will be the best source of information. Also maybe you can try bringing this issue before Lord Valefor or Asclepius.

SWP

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#2

Hello, I will make this brief as I am short of time.

Basically for some years now I've experienced an almost unceasing depression and lack of emotions. For whatever reasons this has persisted despite consistent advancement.

It's enough to where people get concerned about me. It's like I don't feel emotions and I can't feel happiness, love, and all sorts of things.

This might have multiple reasons.
These are symptoms that you are mentioning.

Sounds like a case of anhedonia.

It might be caused by a variety of situations, I’ll say some examples but I think only you would really know what’s going on.

It can be caused by trauma. Trauma is a bitch and can cause stuff like this especially coming out of nowhere.

Your advancement and meditation can sometimes cause feelings like this to surface sometimes to be dealt with, Kundalini work can intensify this in some cases.

Maybe also transits, look at your Saturn and Neptune transits. They can have obvious effects like this.

Saturn was retro for a while now and just went direct a couple days ago, Retro Saturn is brutal and really sucks. It seems it’s stationing now for idk how long (a couple weeks) and HPS Pythia mentioned that stationing Saturn is even worse than retro Saturn.

Low fire/Solar energies. High fire and solar energies are a sure-fire way to make sure you’re on the opposite state of all this. Maybe try to do some Sun squares and other solar mantras to work on this.

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#3

Hello, I will make this brief as I am short of time.

Basically for some years now I've experienced an almost unceasing depression and lack of emotions. For whatever reasons this has persisted despite consistent advancement.

It's enough to where people get concerned about me. It's like I don't feel emotions and I can't feel happiness, love, and all sorts of things.

I hope you feel better soon brother, will pray to my Guardian for you.🙏🏼

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#4

When I was younger I was like that too, and today I'm already alone because people bore me.

You have a lot of Air and Fire but you lack Water. So you can be intellectually passionated but unable to exchange emotions and you are sad.
It's linked to the abdomen and lower chakras that intellectual people often forget.
I suppose that your meditation program must be directed on the 3 first chakras to feel yourself powerful.

You program but are you paid for that ? Do you program for you or for others ? Do you exchange with other programmers ?

I'm taking the plunge, I've enough program for myself and start my own business and will program for others now.
This way, I will correct my sociability problem while exchanging good times with many and earning money.

And if it's too soon to start your business - it's complicated - find partners.

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