Kristjan Ojamets
New member
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2010
- Messages
- 0
Hello all!
I have made a few threads here in the recent past , but i have for weeks been reading about spiritual satanism and everything and done some meditation and on friday i decided that on saturday i'm going to dedicate myself. July 23rd 2011 will remain in my mind and heart as the Date.
I was literally thinking the entire day about my upcoming dedication ritual and i was just encouraged the entire time.
I went all over my district in town looking for Black candels ( I managed to find a store that has a bunch of them! Will buy most of them once payday arrives since i heard they are becoming less and less available )
So it was becoming 10 PM , i decided to clean myself , get everything ready. Funny part was when i was looking for a dry pen i looked into one of the cabinets and didn't find anything. Then i heard a small "Bang" in it after i closed it , so i looked what the hell was it , opened it and one of the combs fell out and it broke only 1 of its metal pointy ends and it was the perfect size for a similar dry pen end.
So i had everything ready , found everything that made my clothes black. So when i got to the part where i had to cut / puncture myself for blood. I just couldn't do it , i tried everything , didn't work to get myself out of the fear to hurt myself.
Finally i decided to get a razor and just cut it and even that was a challenge. I remember the moment i managed to get the courage to do it , i was in my pathetic state :
"I want to protect the people i care for , how the f*ck can i do it if i'm such a chickenshit that i can't even f*cking cut myself to prove i want my soul to be free and empower for Father Satan." So i randomly decided to remind myself of a music from an Anime where the person gets the will in a dire moment to do what he cares for and then it went *Slash* and i managed to do the cut finally.
I had a okay ammount of blood coming out of it , the comb metal needle worked a little bit , but nothing was of great effect. So while the music was going in my head i decided to start using my finger to write the name , squeesing blood out of it like crazy to show my dedication and will. I managed to do it.
So after the "So mote it be" and a big Hail Satan and praying for a bit to let the candle burn out even more , the ashes i threw out the win ( 7th floor apartment ) , so they can to the air and nature , so they can aid me in my meditation , nature gathering and i could be one with it.
Today was my first day , i couldn't sleep , i was too excited all the time , so i decided to do my morning meditation and i looked up for the 7th million time on the meditation program and something hit me. I was like "Why the f*ck have iv been trying to do void meditation and just regular meditation all the time when i shouldev just started with a breathing excercise and open up my 3rd eye and chakras!?"
So doing the opening of the 3rd , while i had my eyes closed , i imagined of gathering energy into my 3rd eye and i felt very very very slight pain(headache) in the location so i stopped for now.
I hope i did everything correct and i will keep on going. So i would like to say i'm now a part of the family!
Hail Father Satan!
I have made a few threads here in the recent past , but i have for weeks been reading about spiritual satanism and everything and done some meditation and on friday i decided that on saturday i'm going to dedicate myself. July 23rd 2011 will remain in my mind and heart as the Date.
I was literally thinking the entire day about my upcoming dedication ritual and i was just encouraged the entire time.
I went all over my district in town looking for Black candels ( I managed to find a store that has a bunch of them! Will buy most of them once payday arrives since i heard they are becoming less and less available )
So it was becoming 10 PM , i decided to clean myself , get everything ready. Funny part was when i was looking for a dry pen i looked into one of the cabinets and didn't find anything. Then i heard a small "Bang" in it after i closed it , so i looked what the hell was it , opened it and one of the combs fell out and it broke only 1 of its metal pointy ends and it was the perfect size for a similar dry pen end.
So i had everything ready , found everything that made my clothes black. So when i got to the part where i had to cut / puncture myself for blood. I just couldn't do it , i tried everything , didn't work to get myself out of the fear to hurt myself.
Finally i decided to get a razor and just cut it and even that was a challenge. I remember the moment i managed to get the courage to do it , i was in my pathetic state :
"I want to protect the people i care for , how the f*ck can i do it if i'm such a chickenshit that i can't even f*cking cut myself to prove i want my soul to be free and empower for Father Satan." So i randomly decided to remind myself of a music from an Anime where the person gets the will in a dire moment to do what he cares for and then it went *Slash* and i managed to do the cut finally.
I had a okay ammount of blood coming out of it , the comb metal needle worked a little bit , but nothing was of great effect. So while the music was going in my head i decided to start using my finger to write the name , squeesing blood out of it like crazy to show my dedication and will. I managed to do it.
So after the "So mote it be" and a big Hail Satan and praying for a bit to let the candle burn out even more , the ashes i threw out the win ( 7th floor apartment ) , so they can to the air and nature , so they can aid me in my meditation , nature gathering and i could be one with it.
Today was my first day , i couldn't sleep , i was too excited all the time , so i decided to do my morning meditation and i looked up for the 7th million time on the meditation program and something hit me. I was like "Why the f*ck have iv been trying to do void meditation and just regular meditation all the time when i shouldev just started with a breathing excercise and open up my 3rd eye and chakras!?"
So doing the opening of the 3rd , while i had my eyes closed , i imagined of gathering energy into my 3rd eye and i felt very very very slight pain(headache) in the location so i stopped for now.
I hope i did everything correct and i will keep on going. So i would like to say i'm now a part of the family!
Hail Father Satan!
