hoodedcobra666
Active member
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2006
- Messages
- 674
Hey this is a post more like a story that I would like to share, mostly for the
shake of sharing and just this. I'm not saying this for people to try this or do
anything. Just sharing a story that you may find yourself in, in different
occassions, under different circumstances. I hope you like it.
So today I was alone and I decided to do something to improve. I woke up feeling
a bit fucked over, unwilling to meditate. But I don't back down from this. I
have done this a million times, to raise myself and I did this again. Despite of
it, I managed to meditate. Having to sort out some booming emotions from
yesterday's meditation, I was like in a chaotic mode. Despite of this, I managed
it. I know Satan appriciates and observes anything, so I made Him proud again in
another day.
Then I decided to finish my meds and go swimming. It was late, despite of this I
was like... I'm going to fucking go and I don't care. I packed my bag and I
moved to a town close to where I live. Long story short, I decided to make this
more of a test for myself. All the day, I had fears that were completely random.
My decision was to somehow improve myself today. To get to the beach there are
two routes. One is dark and full of cliffs and shit. The other is kinda lighted
up. My choice was to take the hard route, that even with friends, at sometimes
scares the soul out of people. I took it though, because inside I knew I could
conquer my fear and that all this irrational fear is nothing but bunk. I kept
on moving and talking loud to myself, "I am fearless and invunerable." For the
whole walk. Sometimes fear striked my heart, as I could barely see.
But I took this road a thousand times. So I did this again. Walking down this
road. I reached the beach. But my self-made trial was not over. There were
people at the beach and I could barely see them. The moon today being almost
void, there was almost nothing that could be seen. Only the starlight that one
can navigate one's self. So I went there, took my clothes off and when I made it
finally to the beach, I did enter the warm water. At this time I started feeling
good, pleased with myself. I felt that I had made it through something that was
imaginary fear. At least for me, this was kind of hard to do. I managed to swim
and the more I was doing it, the less the fear was felt. At this hour, this
place is suspectible of druggies and people getting laid. But my intuition told
me that is safe, while my conscious mind was bombarding me with fears. I got out
shortly after, took my towel and had a cold bath there. Again, I felt pleased
with myself. I had conquered my fear and defeated this shit.
When I left the beach, there is a catacomb kind of thing of an ancient castle.
Leading downwards. I have been with friends there, but most shit their pants to
get through. Its like some sort of tunnel, like the ones in the Egyptian
catacombs. At first I felt fear again and my mind was like "Don't go, someone
could be there" and other shit. Again, I had took this catacomb all the way down
and I knew there was nothing that could harm me. I entered it. It was like a
tunnel that you only see a light in the other end. I used my hands to feel the
walls. When I was kind of deep in it, I started feeling fear. But again, I
didn't let it overcome me and I didn't go back. I had decided to get to the end.
I kept on moving and seeing this light with slow steps. Every step I felt fear
but I knew that it was safe inside. So I made it and finally got out. I had a
deep breath. For me, this was a test. Going back home, I started thinking, that
I had proved myself to myself. I felt an emotion, that I made it through fear.
"Fear is an illusion" -Thoth
So yes here is my story. I kind of placed myself in a very minor version of a
test. To some it may be masochistic [Hahahaha!], but this seemed beautiful to
me. Its nice to experiance our inner knowledge and be fearless. We must all
trust the God within. The next time you feel fear, evaluate it. Now don't go
entering tunnels for the sake of it, LOL. But you get the message!
HAIL SATAN!!!!!!
shake of sharing and just this. I'm not saying this for people to try this or do
anything. Just sharing a story that you may find yourself in, in different
occassions, under different circumstances. I hope you like it.
So today I was alone and I decided to do something to improve. I woke up feeling
a bit fucked over, unwilling to meditate. But I don't back down from this. I
have done this a million times, to raise myself and I did this again. Despite of
it, I managed to meditate. Having to sort out some booming emotions from
yesterday's meditation, I was like in a chaotic mode. Despite of this, I managed
it. I know Satan appriciates and observes anything, so I made Him proud again in
another day.
Then I decided to finish my meds and go swimming. It was late, despite of this I
was like... I'm going to fucking go and I don't care. I packed my bag and I
moved to a town close to where I live. Long story short, I decided to make this
more of a test for myself. All the day, I had fears that were completely random.
My decision was to somehow improve myself today. To get to the beach there are
two routes. One is dark and full of cliffs and shit. The other is kinda lighted
up. My choice was to take the hard route, that even with friends, at sometimes
scares the soul out of people. I took it though, because inside I knew I could
conquer my fear and that all this irrational fear is nothing but bunk. I kept
on moving and talking loud to myself, "I am fearless and invunerable." For the
whole walk. Sometimes fear striked my heart, as I could barely see.
But I took this road a thousand times. So I did this again. Walking down this
road. I reached the beach. But my self-made trial was not over. There were
people at the beach and I could barely see them. The moon today being almost
void, there was almost nothing that could be seen. Only the starlight that one
can navigate one's self. So I went there, took my clothes off and when I made it
finally to the beach, I did enter the warm water. At this time I started feeling
good, pleased with myself. I felt that I had made it through something that was
imaginary fear. At least for me, this was kind of hard to do. I managed to swim
and the more I was doing it, the less the fear was felt. At this hour, this
place is suspectible of druggies and people getting laid. But my intuition told
me that is safe, while my conscious mind was bombarding me with fears. I got out
shortly after, took my towel and had a cold bath there. Again, I felt pleased
with myself. I had conquered my fear and defeated this shit.
When I left the beach, there is a catacomb kind of thing of an ancient castle.
Leading downwards. I have been with friends there, but most shit their pants to
get through. Its like some sort of tunnel, like the ones in the Egyptian
catacombs. At first I felt fear again and my mind was like "Don't go, someone
could be there" and other shit. Again, I had took this catacomb all the way down
and I knew there was nothing that could harm me. I entered it. It was like a
tunnel that you only see a light in the other end. I used my hands to feel the
walls. When I was kind of deep in it, I started feeling fear. But again, I
didn't let it overcome me and I didn't go back. I had decided to get to the end.
I kept on moving and seeing this light with slow steps. Every step I felt fear
but I knew that it was safe inside. So I made it and finally got out. I had a
deep breath. For me, this was a test. Going back home, I started thinking, that
I had proved myself to myself. I felt an emotion, that I made it through fear.
"Fear is an illusion" -Thoth
So yes here is my story. I kind of placed myself in a very minor version of a
test. To some it may be masochistic [Hahahaha!], but this seemed beautiful to
me. Its nice to experiance our inner knowledge and be fearless. We must all
trust the God within. The next time you feel fear, evaluate it. Now don't go
entering tunnels for the sake of it, LOL. But you get the message!
HAIL SATAN!!!!!!
