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Afraid of unachieved dreams

AvatarAriadne the Scribe2 min to read

Hello.

For most years of my life, I was living "in my head." I was daydreaming fictional characters living in my place. These stories weren't the kind to be written and shared, and they almost always ended in tragedy.

These past five years, I've been working on my career goal. This has to do with writing, but the end date (when will it succeed) is unknown.

At the same time, most of my friends live in different cities, and I have no relationship.

I see my career goal as the point when "I can finally be free." I will have the financial ability to travel, to start hobbies... I will have the time to go out with friends, to be in a relationship, and to do more things than I do now.

Right now, I don't want to be in a relationship because it will take my time from this goal. I drastically minimize my outings with friends because time is too short to do everything (meditations, studying, writing, day job).

Inside me, I have a deep, unbearable grief of the possibility that if or when I achieve my goal, it will be too late to start a relationship, too late to have children, too late to enjoy life. And this makes me so sad... It's a sadness and pain that can't be reasoned with logic - because I don't know when my goal will be achieved.

I know there are late bloomers, but what if I am too late?

And I know that I could "give more time for other activities," but I've already wasted more than half of my life daydreaming and living in a fake world, that I can't bear to lose more time. I have all these stories in my head and all this creativity within me; and the thought of dying before I can express it and give it to the world makes me cry for hours.

How can I stop feeling this grief? How can I change my mindset on the time frame this "success" will come?

#1

You can create a mindset that is optimistic, pozitive and strong by programming your subconscious mind. "I always have a pozitive, optimistic and strong mindset in a pozitive and healthy way for me."

#2

When we give something away, we still grow in another sphere. All the practices you do makes you experienced and in more wisdom than you would have in other spheres, these are not worthless achievements but things you still build in yourself and are still making you stronger in more than many areas in life. This is assurance that what is not happening now, makes other things happening and moves you forward in life anyway. so what is growing positive from discipline should be acknowledged and valued, all of it can be identified by studying ToZ further. Discipline makes you stronger in the Soul. And is holding you in building for handling more in life than only one or few spheres can show. Value what you do.

#3

Hello dear Sister, it is very good that you are taking the steps necessary to make your goals manifest in your life 🙏 I think that deserves much more credit than you're giving yourself right now 💯

I think creative endeavours are very beautiful and you should not give yourself too much of a strict timeline on this, please do live your life and have the fun/connections that will add to your repertoire of experience in life. You do have enough time.

I think you could read or familiarise yourself with the biographies or autobiographies of some of your creative inspirations or influential authors. This makes me think of Tolkien who published The Hobbit at age 45 after coming up with the idea as a bedtime story for his children, he went on to publish The Lord of the Rings in his 60s. In his 30s he had many friends in literature circles and joined a group, meeting C. S. Lewis and many other things. He lived a very full life that fed into his art, he was married in his mid-20s, had children, served in World War 1, many other experiences. To me his full human experience is very tangible in what he gave to the world through his writings, which we wouldn't have heard about if he shut himself in as a youth.

I also find the life of Dr Ann Burgess, the woman who pioneered victimology and the criminal profiling that the FBI uses, very inspirational. She was able to balance being a mother of four and a nurse/professor/researcher at a time when women were not taken seriously at all and did not have full legal rights (1960s-70s). She began lecturing shortly after the FBI began allowing women to serve. She talked about the 'boys' club' of the FBI at the time but her methods of analysing behavioural patterns and psychology were so effective at finding serial killers that even though the Bureau were reluctant to fund it it was undeniable.

Your passion is clear and you should not be afraid of somehow jeopardising anything by putting yourself out there, it's part of how you prove your love to your art ✨️

#4

A good relationship helps you with your goals and dreams it doesn’t take away from it.

#5

Sister Ariadne, first off i want to say the realization and awareness of you feeling like you wasted half of your life is never exactly like we picture it. No matter what, the past always serves in some way or another to offer lessons or wisdom to us. Another thing, you must try not to attach waste or anything like that to a different time of your existence in this life, by doing so you are putting a weight or even burden upon yourself about this. this leads to you feeling much more pressured into wanting to do so much more. and goals are excellent to have, but we must not burnout trying to pursue them. So long as you continue working step by step towards your career goal you will arrive. Also everyone must understand that even when we have a major goal in our lives this too can be supplemented by further ones as well or may even change over time to something else entirely. We must give ourselves kindness, as we focus on what we want, do your best to try not to stress too much about this as it only harms you in the long run. There is always a way to balance things out and you can find it, one step at a time at your own pace, and do not focus on others too much in the sense of what they are doing and their levels of growth etc... I will say this at the end, i don't believe in ever being too late, for if one starts and sticks with it they will achieve their goal or goals.

HAIL ZEUS, THE CLERGY and the GODS!!
Seek challenges, they bring growth.
Stay the path, your consistency will pay off.
Continue to be optimistic.
negativity is a tool, not a reactionary system inside us.
You cannot help others if you do not understand the self first.

The challenge, the suffering, shows you what you are capable of in life. If one isn't tested into action, then it only remains as potentiality.

#6

you can't change your past but you can change your present and future. you can use your time differently and share it for all of your life goals not only for a single one.

#7
This is the targeted message.

Hi, Sister Ariadne the Scribe!

Since the inner world shapes the outer world, you need to get rid of grief, raise your vibrations, and move to a higher vibrational level.

This can be done with active and daily cleansing of your chakras, as well as working with them.

I think it's necessary to protect your inner world. I mean, with cleansed and strengthened chakras, you will not be feel negative by the words of other people (especially those closest to you) about the fact that time is short and the like, while you will correctly look at time and understand the gravity of circumstances, without falling into grief or despondency.

The worst thing is the pressure of other people who are trying to shake your inner world - at this moment you feel compression in the heart chakra, as well as in the throat chakra (if you are led to negative emotions).

Being at high vibrations makes your chakras more protected from the words of other people who will not be able to shake your inner world.

Creating a better reality is possible only when you are in high vibrations. Being on high vibrations and in a balanced inner world, you can effectively attract (rather than repel) other people, radiating inner strength (which other people will feel) and make successful acquaintances for life.

«You will find on the left of the halls of Hades a spring, and standing by it a white cypress. Do not approach this spring at all. You will find another, from the Lake of Memory, with cold water flowing from it. Guardians stand before it. Say: 'I am a child of Earth and starry Heaven, but my race is of Heaven alone. You know this yourselves. I am parched with thirst and am perishing. Give me quickly the cold water flowing from the Lake of Memory.' And they will give you to drink from the sacred spring, and after that you will reign among the other heroes» - From the Petelia Tablet (300-200 BCE)