A Reminder

I wanted to share something I’ve recently found myself struggling with.

For me, this was largely about my relationship with Zeus. He’s the God I naturally turn to when I want to pray, talk about something, ask for guidance or just express my gratitude. I’ve always felt very close to him, I’ve never struggled with that, but over time I’d become increasingly inconsistent with my practice.

I’d get frustrated with myself for not putting in the effort I should have been. I’d recognize that I was being lazy, making excuses and repeatedly telling myself I was going to change things, only to fall back into the same habits. Eventually, I started feeling like I was disappointing Zeus, and that I should be doing better before approaching him again. I didn’t want to keep saying I was going to improve and then not following through.

This became a bit of a cycle. I was unhappy with my lack of consistency, so I felt I needed to improve before returning to my practice, but by not practicing I was making it even harder to develop that consistency in the first place. I was effectively making my own shortcomings an obstacle to the very relationship I wanted to cultivate.

High Priest has addressed a lot of these subjects in his sermons, including some quite recently. Although I’d read those sermons and understood them intellectually, I hadn’t really internalized them or reflected on what he was saying in relation to myself as I should have. It’s interesting how we can often understand something conceptually but still be completely blind to those behaviors within ourselves for weeks, months, even years. I understood the importance of maintaining our connection with the Gods, not letting our mistakes define us, and recognizing that we can be forgiven. But I hadn’t properly applied those teachings to my own situation.

Recently, I decided to pray to Zeus and explain how I’d been feeling. I acknowledged the things I’d been doing wrong, my lack of consistency and the frustration I’d been putting on myself. I also recognized that these shortcomings don’t define me, and that I don’t need to become some better version of myself before I can approach him.

I wasn’t making any grand promises about suddenly becoming more disciplined or changing everything overnight. My intention to become more consistent and put more effort into my practice is sincere, but I don’t need to make promises about what I’ll achieve before I can act on that intention. I can simply do what I can each day and continue working towards becoming the person I want to be.

That experience helped me realize that I shouldn’t withhold myself from Zeus just because I’m unhappy with my own progress. Striving to improve and cultivating a relationship with the Gods aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, they should go hand in hand.

I imagine others may find themselves in similar situations, whether it’s with Zeus or another God. You might feel that you’ve disappointed them, that you’ve made too many mistakes, or that you haven’t been consistent enough in your practice. It’s worth remembering that you don’t have to get everything in order before you can continue developing your relationship with the Gods. We all have things we need to work on, and that doesn’t mean we should withhold ourselves from them until we’ve managed to do so.

I’d recommend anyone feeling this way to do the same. Just take a few minutes to pray to whatever God you’d been avoiding and simply acknowledge your shortcomings and the behaviors you need to work on, but that you genuinely want to do better and develop the relationship. You don't need to make promises or feel that you have to apologize simply for being imperfect or inconsistent. Just acknowledge where you're falling short, be honest about wanting to improve, and express your intention to continue developing that relationship.

For me this brought a genuine sense of inner peace, clarity, and calmness, and I hope it brings you the same.

Here are the sermons I’d highly recommend reading if you haven’t, or re-reading if it’s been a while. There’s been so many updates and new information recently that it can be easy to forget or miss something important: