Ask Satya Operator
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2022
- Messages
- 8,398
I was with my Gf for a bit over a year. Some things and misunderstandings occurred where she almost left. She kept insisting that the place we lived did not want her there and that she never felt welcome. One time an item fell down on her from the wall as she slept, and she took it as an omen that she was not wanted there, and even insisted that the object consciously "launched" at her. Our relationship was intense and turbulent, with emotional upsets occuring from her very often. I was blamed for things i did not do, and berated during times when i was just trying to help. Even from the beginning, I would have thoughts where would wonder where they would come from, basically disapproving of her. I would see liscence plates with her name on them everywhere, and omens that indicated that she would not remain with me. One of the most telling ones was when a car with a plate that had her name, pulled away from a parking space to have another rapidly take its place.
I had my issues that i took accountability for but i felt like this was not reciprocated. In retrospect, I realized how toxic this relationship was for me. I lost 16 pounds from not eating or sleeping due to the anxiety that her emotional upsets, and the way they would manifest to imply that the relationship was at risk and how she would become distant and with hold affection, would constantly have me in fear and on edge. It deteriorated my mental and emotional health and caused me to have frequent absence at work, which im sure contributed in me getting on the lay off list.
I was even sent home from work because of fleeting suicidal ideation when I was being blamed for something absolutely disgusting, something i could never do because of being punished for her past. She discarded me twice. Even when she did not break up with me there seemed to be cycles of idealization and devaluation towards me.
The first time she abruptly discarded me, i was blamed for gross medical neglect which was a disgusting lie. She had an outburst over text that made it sound like i maimed her when i loved her with all my heart, and gave her everything. I was BROKEN. She came back two weeks later and stupidly i took her back...
When she dumped me the first time literally SECONDS before this, I saw Lord Aim's name and 666. Some days later after she went no contact, i had a strange dream where Adolf Hilter came up to me and said something i don't remember, and gave me something to drink during some peculiar military parade, and my brother was there in his army uniform.
Two months later, She goes someplace that has bad wifi, and because of a serious convo we had that morning, because my messages wont send for two hours because of bad connection she starts flipping out thinking i ghosted her, talking about having panic attacks and throwing up and how devastated she is that i would disappear and block her...when she KNEW the internet was fucked...by the stroke of luck i was able to finally wifi call her.....yet two weeks after this....she discards me without room for dialogue AGAIN.
A stark contrast to the freak out about me ghosting her. You would think she would at least try to verify or ask about what was going on...because this was about social media ffs. So the second time she basically thinks i was cheating on her just because of an accidental follow on social media. The girls video that popped up was not what i wanted, and i clicked the follow button on accident when i wanted to click away. I thought i did, but it stayed for days and my then gf saw this. Problem is this accidental follow was a girl i had sex with on a date once.
My then gf went silent for two days and offline, causing me at first to fear for her safety....till i saw her social media profile and made a connection. I did a ritual to Lord Thoth asking for help with communication and within 10 minutes, literally she emails me telling me "she knows" and to never contact her again. No dialogue no nothing....over an accidental social media follow.
Days later.....Dreams of the antichrist again.
Both times she discarded me there was either omens from or me reaching out to the Gods and dreams of the antichrist...along with thoughts and omens this would not last, and the whole time she tells me the appartments energy signals she is not wanted there.....she even clamied to sense a "dark entity". I am literally starting to wonder if my Guardian demon was trying to scare her away.....especially because over the summer over that same social media platform we almost lost our relationship because she falsely accused me of cheating.....then at the last moments it appeared to come back around to finish the job by having me again accused of the same falsehood.
This can't all be coincidences? Do the Gods sometimes intervene when it comes to toxic people in our lives or those who only take, if they see something very severe that we do not?
I had my issues that i took accountability for but i felt like this was not reciprocated. In retrospect, I realized how toxic this relationship was for me. I lost 16 pounds from not eating or sleeping due to the anxiety that her emotional upsets, and the way they would manifest to imply that the relationship was at risk and how she would become distant and with hold affection, would constantly have me in fear and on edge. It deteriorated my mental and emotional health and caused me to have frequent absence at work, which im sure contributed in me getting on the lay off list.
I was even sent home from work because of fleeting suicidal ideation when I was being blamed for something absolutely disgusting, something i could never do because of being punished for her past. She discarded me twice. Even when she did not break up with me there seemed to be cycles of idealization and devaluation towards me.
The first time she abruptly discarded me, i was blamed for gross medical neglect which was a disgusting lie. She had an outburst over text that made it sound like i maimed her when i loved her with all my heart, and gave her everything. I was BROKEN. She came back two weeks later and stupidly i took her back...
When she dumped me the first time literally SECONDS before this, I saw Lord Aim's name and 666. Some days later after she went no contact, i had a strange dream where Adolf Hilter came up to me and said something i don't remember, and gave me something to drink during some peculiar military parade, and my brother was there in his army uniform.
Two months later, She goes someplace that has bad wifi, and because of a serious convo we had that morning, because my messages wont send for two hours because of bad connection she starts flipping out thinking i ghosted her, talking about having panic attacks and throwing up and how devastated she is that i would disappear and block her...when she KNEW the internet was fucked...by the stroke of luck i was able to finally wifi call her.....yet two weeks after this....she discards me without room for dialogue AGAIN.
A stark contrast to the freak out about me ghosting her. You would think she would at least try to verify or ask about what was going on...because this was about social media ffs. So the second time she basically thinks i was cheating on her just because of an accidental follow on social media. The girls video that popped up was not what i wanted, and i clicked the follow button on accident when i wanted to click away. I thought i did, but it stayed for days and my then gf saw this. Problem is this accidental follow was a girl i had sex with on a date once.
My then gf went silent for two days and offline, causing me at first to fear for her safety....till i saw her social media profile and made a connection. I did a ritual to Lord Thoth asking for help with communication and within 10 minutes, literally she emails me telling me "she knows" and to never contact her again. No dialogue no nothing....over an accidental social media follow.
Days later.....Dreams of the antichrist again.
Both times she discarded me there was either omens from or me reaching out to the Gods and dreams of the antichrist...along with thoughts and omens this would not last, and the whole time she tells me the appartments energy signals she is not wanted there.....she even clamied to sense a "dark entity". I am literally starting to wonder if my Guardian demon was trying to scare her away.....especially because over the summer over that same social media platform we almost lost our relationship because she falsely accused me of cheating.....then at the last moments it appeared to come back around to finish the job by having me again accused of the same falsehood.
This can't all be coincidences? Do the Gods sometimes intervene when it comes to toxic people in our lives or those who only take, if they see something very severe that we do not?
