#741 Getting Lost

[AskSatanOperator]

Hello, first of all, I want to let you know that I am using a translator, as my English is not very advanced, and it’s more convenient for me this way. I also want to apologize in advance for any issues with describing my problem, as it’s difficult for me to express it clearly, and it feels quite strange to me—I’m unsure what to do about it.

My issue is that ever since I began to explore Satanism and accepted Satan as my god (about three years ago), I’ve felt my mind become somewhat chaotic. I started studying Satanism through websites specifically devoted to Satanism and occultism, and suddenly, it all became quite a mess. Initially, I read about the experiences of individual Satanists; then, I got into the Joy of Satan by reading a file of about 700 pages, which contained Maxine’s writings on spiritual Satanism. This file was essentially a compilation of records from the Joy of Satan site, including sermons and readings directly from JoS-affiliated sites. Finally, I began to read a bit about the Order of Nine Angles (ONA), but I was put off by their worldview, which emphasizes sowing chaos and rebelling against everything around, as well as calling for destruction. To me, this didn’t seem like Satanism but merely using Satan as a cover for spreading confusion in the world.

As I analyzed all this, things started to get mixed up in my head. I noticed that in articles, records, and books, each source would criticize the other, claiming, "They are false and not true Satanists!" This began to remind me of Christianity, where every church accuses the others of heresy or being the work of the devil. All of this led me to feel lost, and I began to question, “What should I believe?” I had no revelations or any firm foundation—just what others had written.

Then, suddenly, I had a strange feeling, and thoughts flooded my mind, suggesting that if everyone else is creating their own gods, then I should create my own god. (I want to be clear that I sincerely regret this decision.) I don’t know where these thoughts came from, though I suspect it was due to the exhaustion from my challenging school situation, numerous exams, and the mental fatigue from the confusion in my head described above. After a few days, I created my own deity, but it brought me no satisfaction—I felt empty. I tried to believe that it was a real god, but deep down, I knew it was just a hollow image of a nonexistent entity.

Now I’m sitting here writing this message, asking for help to pull me out of this despair. I don’t know what to do, what to believe. I know nothing. I’m exhausted and drained. Despite upcoming tests, I have no energy left to study. So my question is: what should I do?

(Just to clarify: when I created my deity, under NO circumstances did I curse, swear, or say ANY negative word against Father Satan or the Gods. Honestly, even when I created this deity, I still had quiet thoughts in the back of my mind that Father Satan is the true God. So even though I created this deity, I didn’t fully give myself over to this fantasy of my own making.)

That’s everything I wanted to say. I don’t know if it’s written clearly enough to be understood. I also don’t know if what I’ve written just sounds like nonsense and if I’m just some delusional person. As I mentioned before, I know nothing. Please, I sincerely ask for help, and I would be grateful for any response.

Thank you once again for taking the time to read this lengthy message—I simply don’t have the energy to organize it into something more coherent. To whoever is reading this, I wish you a pleasant day, evening, and night, and I appreciate your patience.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

Finally, I began to read a bit about the Order of Nine Angles (ONA), but I was put off by their worldview, which emphasizes sowing chaos and rebelling against everything around, as well as calling for destruction. To me, this didn’t seem like Satanism but merely using Satan as a cover for spreading confusion in the world.

What (rightly) is attributable to Joy of Satanas that distinguishes the writings of HPS Maxine Dietrich as authentic from the fake-"Satanism" crap of other non-JoS websites is that the advanced Spiritual Satanists dedicated to Satan who follow JoS have experiences with the Gods. This makes the information CONCRETE.

HPS Maxine Dietrich has actually reviewed many things with the help of the Gods and has been taught much by the Gods themselves. And anyway, in her research and studies, she has always had the guidance of the Gods. HP HoodedCobra666 and HPS Lydia, also have direct communication with the Gods.

The other (fake) Satanist websites do not boast of this and their information is only theoretical and concerns their personal vision of Satanism, as they understand it and not as Satan dictated it.

Over the years I have actually seen "Satanists" (often infiltrated obviously) even here on the forum who verbally attacked Hp HoodedCobra666 or HPS Lydia with accusations and even insults. It is very "laughable" (in the negative sense of the thing) that people who have not half an experience with the Gods allow themselves to troll with people as evolved as our High Priests who actually have contacts with the Gods. It has always been my thought when I saw these trolls offend in ways even of heavy bad taste.

Sorry, I wrote too much, what I wanted to say is, simply, that Satan does not want to disperse his children on thousands of different "Orders". The Gods are on Joy of Satanas. And personal experiences are proof of this. The personal experiences that I had on the Ouija board (when I still used it), I had them only for JoS. And I was talking about JoS, which I based my questions on the Ouija board (for example to my Guardian Demon).

After a few days, I created my own deity, but it brought me no satisfaction—I felt empty. I tried to believe that it was a real god, but deep down, I knew it was just a hollow image of a nonexistent entity.

Because unlike Satan, what you have created for yourself is a void that does not have the characteristics of a true God. It is just a void, and by its nature, a void cannot fill anything.

 

[SeguaceDiSatanas]

JoS-affiliated sites

Another thing I forgot to add is that the websites truly affiliated with JoS are the ones listed here: https://satanisgod.org/

I wanted to clarify this because I have seen people in my life who FALSELY claimed to be affiliated with JoS to exploit the Name of JoS like parasites to deceive people and lead them down false paths. For example, I once met a group of this kind that really had a lot of people. That group has now been removed and closed permanently (thanks to me). But seeing the crap they said left me traumatized so I would like to be precise about the fact that the sites truly affiliated with JoS are those listed in the link I gave you.

 

[Henu the Great]

The Joy of Satanas is very unique when you look closely. How so? This is the assembly of the Gods and you can connect to Them instead of making things up in your mind or reading nonsensical material online. This can happen in many ways. For example, through their Sigils, prayer to Them and Their Rituals.