I’ve been thinking about this subject a lot lately. It always blows my mind how sermons are so often relevant to issues we are dwelling on at the time they are posted. I know this will be lengthy. I just have to get it off my shoulders. I screwed up.
I ended my marriage of 12 years last week. I had readings from you Sir, as well as HPS Lydia and even HPS Maxine years ago. In all three it was mentioned that someone horrible for me was fated to come into / already be in my life, who would manipulate/damage me… and I knew it was her. But arrogantly thought I knew better and could change things. I later towards the end even started having SEVERAL dreams about things that were happening behind my back, or things that would happen the next day, detailed things, and they ALL were happening/came true. I don’t feel I am psychic in this way whatsoever. But I find it very likely that these were also warnings, maybe from my guardian Demon trying to warn me. Maybe not, I don’t know. But they all were so detailed and true. It just blows my mind I didn’t take them seriously.
I even later slacked off completely the meditating and most rituals, when things were “good,” and realize now how stupid I was (in multiple ways). I even split up with a very nice girl, to try again with ex wife. I realize only now how awful this has been on the children we have together, with me having them full time now. Depressing and infuriating, as an individual and father, thinking about over a decade of my life wasted and my kids traumatized and in therapy from the constant substance/police/drunken BS. And ALL of it was completely avoidable, had I heeded divine counsel when things were bad, and stayed close to the Gods when things were seemingly good. I didn’t listen to ANY of the signs. What could have been an easy breakup before marriage when it was just chronic alcoholism, instead became 12 years of a gigantic mess of emotions/traumatized kids/being cheated on several times.l and damage. It was all needless and embarrassing.
My focus now (aside from dropping this Karma with this person) is sticking to the Gods through “good” and bad, and reshaping myself into someone the Gods, my fellow Zevists and my children can be proud of.