Question #4918: do Children and Teenagers own themselves or are they "slaves of parents and other authority figures"

[Henu the Great]

Children, and in many cases teenagers and even adults are not mature enough to take care of themselves, handle responsibilities, and need guidance from older, usually wiser people. The concept is correct, but in this day and age there are numerous issues around it, just like with everything else.

 

[Rocca]

i've been always wondering about that specific matter,
and thought how it's total unjust that a weak child find himself in a very hostile environment! "and it tortured me a lot actually"
but eventually i settled down to thing like that is back to your karma! and what you have been doing before having this life.
you don't have to beat yourself or feeling guilty for that!
a certain bad situation doesn't always mean you were a bad being in previous life btw, sometimes it's just to teach you a quality you were missing.
i strongly encourage you not to imprison yourself in the dungeon of hatred and simply let what happened go..

 

[Novice Priest Karnonnos]

No, children are not property or cattle, children are children.

Xianity promulgated the idea that 'a good wife and child and a bad wife and child both deserve the fist and the rod', 'my cattle' and other nonsense sayings common in the middle ages that just lead to communism and hatred of authority altogether.

However, there are complexes you have based on your case of unjustifiable abuse and ludicrous attacks on you (for example, assaulting you for wanting a partner as an adolescent) that aren't applicable to everyone.

A child that comes out the womb assaulting and even murdering (rare but does exist) may need correctives and strong levels of control. These children are not put under ANY control by our permissive society that often accommodates evil children to the ends of the earth and they destroy to the maximum extent as a result.

 

[Stormblood]

It's very complex. Children are not property of anybody, but that doesn't mean parents are not responsible for them.

Also, respecting someone doesn't mean you agree with every decision they make or with every behaviour. However, people of older generations have lived longer than you and, in most cases, they have more life experience than you do.

Most parents also feed their children, give them a roof over their, clothes to wear, and other things that are considered necessities, and otherwise provide for them. It's their job to do it, of course, but children need to be respectful and grateful of that. Not take it for granted, not abuse it and definitely not act spoiled and demanding.

Many children nowadays get annoyed, angry and sad that their parents don't buy them a car, or expensive clothes, or a new iPhone every year, a new gaming console or laptop, and whatever other nonsense. It's not their job to do that and it's not a basic necessity. It's also not needed in any way whatsoever.

If they even buy you a cheap phone, you need to be grateful and not complain that it's not the latest model or whatever. If you want a more expensive phone, get a job and pay for it yourself.

How to discipline a misbehaving child is a complex topic. Many people don't have the awareness to understand how life works, and not the awareness to understand how to educate a child. You cannot always just talk to a child or teenager, though. Their brains aren't even fully developed, their whole bodies aren't.

It may be necessary at some point to use light physical violence, when children and teenagers are unresponsive to any other method.

Otherwise, like JG Karnonnos said, there obviously instances like yours where parents have unacceptable behaviour, and that's for the law to care of. This is not the norm. But also those people aren't fit to have children.

In the future, we'll have fitness to marriage certificates and fitness to have children certificate, with only mentally sane people doing those. Personally, I think that the worst cases of inept people need to be neutered altogether, so they can't have children to abuse.

 

[NetemPtah]

Children are, before being sons and daughters, human beings with peculiarities and characteristic qualities.
It is unfortunately true that minors are not always protected by the law, but believing in legislative justice would be an error of naivety. We certainly wouldn't still be fighting if ethical power (and consequently judicial morality) were simply of Gentile nature. Children are beings continually undermined by the enemy from every point of view, as they lack defenses and experience of the world.

However, the patterns of our childhood are indicative of some parameters that concern our soul, or concern a purpose of our soul. As a child, I have always been isolated, and I suffered a lot from it, but as an adult I understand that it would not have been possible otherwise. I wouldn't have grown up otherwise, I wouldn't be the peculiar personality that I am. And I believe this was a form of protection to preserve some qualities and the purpose of my soul. It's a form of discipline.

Observe the patterns of your childhood, and carefully evaluate your current life, as ongoing parameters can direct you to the problems you need to solve. Despite a childhood of obstacles, those obstacles are your responsibility to remove from your soul. The obstacle is not a damnation, but an indicator. Blaming someone or something, even if rightfully, will not solve the problem. Just work on your soul, free yourself. Step by step.
Justice is spiritual.

 

[Crystallized Mushroom]

It's very complex. Children are not property of anybody, but that doesn't mean parents are not responsible for them.

Also, respecting someone doesn't mean you agree with every decision they make or with every behaviour. However, people of older generations have lived longer than you and, in most cases, they have more life experience than you do.

Most parents also feed their children, give them a roof over their, clothes to wear, and other things that are considered necessities, and otherwise provide for them. It's their job to do it, of course, but children need to be respectful and grateful of that. Not take it for granted, not abuse it and definitely not act spoiled and demanding.

Many children nowadays get annoyed, angry and sad that their parents don't buy them a car, or expensive clothes, or a new iPhone every year, a new gaming console or laptop, and whatever other nonsense. It's not their job to do that and it's not a basic necessity. It's also not needed in any way whatsoever.

If they even buy you a cheap phone, you need to be grateful and not complain that it's not the latest model or whatever. If you want a more expensive phone, get a job and pay for it yourself.

How to discipline a misbehaving child is a complex topic. Many people don't have the awareness to understand how life works, and not the awareness to understand how to educate a child. You cannot always just talk to a child or teenager, though. Their brains aren't even fully developed, their whole bodies aren't.

It may be necessary at some point to use light physical violence, when children and teenagers are unresponsive to any other method.

Otherwise, like JG Karnonnos said, there obviously instances like yours where parents have unacceptable behaviour, and that's for the law to care of. This is not the norm. But also those people aren't fit to have children.

In the future, we'll have fitness to marriage certificates and fitness to have children certificate, with only mentally sane people doing those. Personally, I think that the worst cases of inept people need to be neutered altogether, so they can't have children to abuse.

realistically how would governments implement fitness to marriage and

It's very complex. Children are not property of anybody, but that doesn't mean parents are not responsible for them.

Also, respecting someone doesn't mean you agree with every decision they make or with every behaviour. However, people of older generations have lived longer than you and, in most cases, they have more life experience than you do.

Most parents also feed their children, give them a roof over their, clothes to wear, and other things that are considered necessities, and otherwise provide for them. It's their job to do it, of course, but children need to be respectful and grateful of that. Not take it for granted, not abuse it and definitely not act spoiled and demanding.

Many children nowadays get annoyed, angry and sad that their parents don't buy them a car, or expensive clothes, or a new iPhone every year, a new gaming console or laptop, and whatever other nonsense. It's not their job to do that and it's not a basic necessity. It's also not needed in any way whatsoever.

If they even buy you a cheap phone, you need to be grateful and not complain that it's not the latest model or whatever. If you want a more expensive phone, get a job and pay for it yourself.

How to discipline a misbehaving child is a complex topic. Many people don't have the awareness to understand how life works, and not the awareness to understand how to educate a child. You cannot always just talk to a child or teenager, though. Their brains aren't even fully developed, their whole bodies aren't.

It may be necessary at some point to use light physical violence, when children and teenagers are unresponsive to any other method.

Otherwise, like JG Karnonnos said, there obviously instances like yours where parents have unacceptable behaviour, and that's for the law to care of. This is not the norm. But also those people aren't fit to have children.

In the future, we'll have fitness to marriage certificates and fitness to have children certificate, with only mentally sane people doing those. Personally, I think that the worst cases of inept people need to be neutered altogether, so they can't have children to abuse.

realistically how are governments going to implement fitness to marriage certificates and fitness to have children certificates(license to have children) also what criteria would likely be for both certificates in the future?

 

[Dragonheart666]

As, a young child myself? I needed ,somebody to guide me. I was hyperactive, and I was wayward, and in some cases unpredictable. I was ,a hard-headed child, and I was very difficult to raise. plus ,I questioned authority. I was, the class clown. And I was a show off. And I got what I deserved! Children, are punishable, because they're young and they don't know any better. And I was wild and out of control and it didn't have the sense enough to stop and think about my actions and what I was doing? And what I was saying plus I was hanging with kids that were troublemakers therefore I wasn't trustworthy. And like other children who were very mature for their age were allowed to babysit other children? Where I wasn't mature for that until I reached a certain age. And still I didn't want the responsibility of being a babysitter and I didn't like the idea of somebody telling me to do this and do that? Because it was getting in the way of what I wanted to do as a kid. So I gave people the impression that I was self-centered and irresponsible because that was the message I put out? If I was interested in babysitting or answering the phone for my dad? Then I would have been trusted to be among other children and I would have been given privileges? And things would have been different for me. But because I was the type of child that I was? I needed somebody to tell me what to do. And yes like many children I was a smart ass and I did stupid things and I got my butt spanked for it and I got punished and for the things that I did or said I deserved it. I was one of those kids that had to learn things the hard way and I admit I was a bonehead growing up as a kid! And yes! I wanted to be like other kids and earn money and be able to buy my own clothes and all that. But then again in a lot of areas I just wasn't mature enough. Here I am in my fifties looking back at all of that after years of resenting my parents. I honestly got exactly what I deserved. And my actions and my behavior proved it. I was also in contained classrooms. I was also in resource classes as a result of that. Teachers were always complaining about me because I would talk out in the middle of class and I was distracted. I was the class clown and I wanted attention all the time. And I hung around with kids that were troublemakers. And until I was old enough to think for myself? I had to deal with my parents and I had to learn to take responsibility and grow up. Especially if I didn't want them telling me things. And I had to learn to look into myself? Like it or not except who I am. And learn how to trust myself and Learn to Love myself. And look at all of this as a lesson. And have the sense enough to understand not only what I've done but the results of it? And accept the knowledge behind it in order for me to move on and to grow mentally in my mind and make the better decisions because at some point I got tired of getting yelled at and I got tired of being punished! And I wanted to do the right thing and I wanted to show people that I was capable of learning things and doing things too. And mind you , ..it wasn't easy! And I make a fool of myself all the time doing things and same things. And as a result I have to stop and think about it and I have to learn to forgive myself and let go and learn the lesson and accept it and what it has to teach and what it shows you in order to recognize yourself and things and to turn things around and to take the responsibility of who you are and what you put out there. We all live and learn! And by the time I started to figure things out I was practically in junior high! And still my parents didn't trust me and teachers at school were still scoffing about me and I was still in resource classes. Even though I was doing very well with my grades and taking my time and doing my homework. I had to work on my behavior and my actions too. Before it was too late because I wanted to date and I wanted to get my driver's license and have my own car and all of that too. And there were a lot of things I wanted to do and couldn't do. And then having to make up for it all by the time I got into High School were other girls! Other children teenagers? We're working and earning their own money and seemed more advanced their age. And I was trying to catch up with them. And by the time I figured that out? I knew that I could do it and I developed a confidence Within Myself and had my self-esteem because I knew that if they could do it I can do it and all I had to do was allow myself to listen and learn. And learn to respect myself and my folks! And when you learn to accept yourself for who you are you learn to love yourself too. And you realize that being childish is not necessary. It's one thing to be a child and enjoy your childhood but then again you want to be able to enjoy it and learn about yourself too. And it's not so much about being a slave to your parents or feeling like your ownership or property. It's that because you're young and you're a kid? You have to learn about this world and along with it you have to learn to accept yourself. And have an understanding and an appreciation for your folks who are trying to raise you. That there's a certain type of discipline we grow up with and we have to accept it and along with it we learn to mold and shape ourselves to be the person we want to be. Along with this discipline! And make it useful for ourselves as we get older.

 

[Stormblood]

realistically how would governments implement fitness to marriage and

realistically how are governments going to implement fitness to marriage certificates and fitness to have children certificates(license to have children) also what criteria would likely be for both certificates in the future?

The same way they implemented licenses to drive vehicles, as well as educational and professional certificates.

Realistically, it won't stop people from having children when they aren't ready, as the lower someone is in ethical advancement, the more they think they know better than everybody about what's acceptable social behaviour and many other topics, despite being objectively wrong. That's the majority unfortunately. Think, for example, how many people think alcohol is necessary to having fun and to unwind. How many people say "I need a drink or a smoke (weed)" after a hard day, instead of thinking about awareness meditation or breathing exercises? How many people automatically socially exclude you if you don't abide by toxic nor malicious rules, even if you let them do what they want with their life and do not police their behaviour?

So, yes, there are challenges to implementing some things realistically. However, there's a difference between people being ignorant, incompetent and unwilling to grow, and certain things being needed or right. That's my point of view.

Working in social policy is not my goal in life. I can only provide my advice and perspective if it comes up.