In addition to your advice, I came to reason with the more essential parts of myself as to what I can do with this, so again, thank you for the assistance.
I only made this second account to ask certain personal questions which I don't want those who can identify me who read the forums to know I asked.
Here goes.
I have this strange and deep connection to a woman who is a bit older than me, not too much just enough to be considered a babysitter...