This is making me insane.

I think that what you are experiencing is understandable. However it is important to manage it.
What I'd do in your situation is performing a working to attract a partner suitable to my needs, adding my sexual energy to it.
Furthermore, look at this situation and ask yourself "why am I experiencing this?"... A person may be beautiful, but not charismatic enough. A strong charismatic presence will help you so much in life you cannot even imagine. Just apply yourself, in every occasion, and work on your charisma (a "sexual nature" helps A LOT in this, and I always bring the example of D'Annunzio whose creative vehicle in art and poetics was his strong sexual drive). Study how to be a powerful presence and a better communicator (communication is very important to women).
You may also want to use this energy to improve spiritually, or to achieve any other material goal you desire.

Why don't you attract a partner with a spell?

AFODO wrote:View source

Why don't you attract a partner with a spell?

There are no available good astrological times left for a love spell for the rest of this year on the Satanic calendar.

Also, I think there are multiple problems regarding my love life that I would have to work on multiple sides spiritually and materially on this. Which I don’t have the energy or the focus for at the moment.

It will feel like someone who has suffered from extreme poverty all his life and is now trying to do a money spell.

But I don’t mind doing a spell if it is really powerful and effective that it fixes this situation, but as I said there are no good dates for love upcoming atm.

NetemPtah wrote:View source

I think that what you are experiencing is understandable. However it is important to manage it.
What I'd do in your situation is performing a working to attract a partner suitable to my needs, adding my sexual energy to it.
Furthermore, look at this situation and ask yourself "why am I experiencing this?"... A person may be beautiful, but not charismatic enough. A strong charismatic presence will help you so much in life you cannot even imagine. Just apply yourself, in every occasion, and work on your charisma (a "sexual nature" helps A LOT in this, and I always bring the example of D'Annunzio whose creative vehicle in art and poetics was his strong sexual drive). Study how to be a powerful presence and a better communicator (communication is very important to women).
You may also want to use this energy to improve spiritually, or to achieve any other material goal you desire.

I think I’m really charismatic. It shows in my chart, and I’ve been told by girls and female friends/love interests before I have magnetic charisma.

I also have a powerful presence I’m always noticed by women and men even, and I communicate very well.

I am highly sexual, poetic, and deep. I remember writing heart melting poetry in my language.

I don’t think there’s a problem with my being in attracting people. I’ve been said that I’m overqualified to have relationships.

This is what I’ve been feeling too, I used to have trouble making friendships when I was a teen because I would either be too smart, too busy, too ambitious, too spiritual, too deep, too sexual, too intense, too mysterious, etc.
until I learned to dumb myself down and just be social.

However with a partner, I tried dumbing myself down and it doesn’t work they always notice the difference between us is earth shattering, and I want someone to merge with. I can’t merge with someone who is just not on my level.

However what makes all this more complex is that I’m an extremely diverse personality.

I have extreme depths of emotion of Scorpio, seriousness, responsibility and ambition of Capricorn, analytic mind of Virgo, vivid softness sensitivity empathetic and art of Neptune, and also rebellious and electric nature of Uranus.

I also have three chart rulers, most people have one or two.

So it’s really tough to meet someone who understands and meets the standards of all of me, and that’s beside the point that people here are religious, superficial and new souls, and I’m a Zevist.

But sad thing is I can’t even have like casual shit, I am blocked from it all.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I think I’m really charismatic. It shows in my chart, and I’ve been told by girls and female friends/love interests before I have magnetic charisma.

I also have a powerful presence I’m always noticed by women and men even, and I communicate very well.

I am highly sexual, poetic, and deep. I remember writing heart melting poetry in my language.

I don’t think there’s a problem with my being in attracting people. I’ve been said that I’m overqualified to have relationships.

This is what I’ve been feeling too, I used to have trouble making friendships when I was a teen because I would either be too smart, too busy, too ambitious, too spiritual, too deep, too sexual, too intense, too mysterious, etc.
until I learned to dumb myself down and just be social.

However with a partner, I tried dumbing myself down and it doesn’t work they always notice the difference between us is earth shattering, and I want someone to merge with. I can’t merge with someone who is just not on my level.

However what makes all this more complex is that I’m an extremely diverse personality.

I have extreme depths of emotion of Scorpio, seriousness, responsibility and ambition of Capricorn, analytic mind of Virgo, vivid softness sensitivity empathetic and art of Neptune, and also rebellious and electric nature of Uranus.

I also have three chart rulers, most people have one or two.

So it’s really tough to meet someone who understands and meets the standards of all of me, and that’s beside the point that people here are religious, superficial and new souls, and I’m an Zevism.

But sad thing is I can’t even have like casual shit, I am blocked from it all.

From reading this, there can be underlying assumptions like that the only relationship that would work is one which involves merging. There can even be an idea you may not ever find a partner, which then creates this desire to fully merge and "grip" at the tightest level, so they can never leave you. This idea may also reflect in how you view yourself here, not that what you say is not true, but the way you write it, which to me, seems like you are listing all the different aspects of your soul as "proof" that it is too hard or basically impossible to connect this with someone else. It is like saying, "look, I have too many puzzle pieces, I cannot connect them all into a harmonious way with you".

On the same note, it is also possible that you subconsciously present yourself in these ways as a method to "make sure" you are a good partner and ensure the existence of the bond which you may subconsciously fear may not exist otherwise. For example, if you put too much effort into your intellectual "input" of the relationship, this would make you seem valuable in a sense, but also hard to connect with.

At the end of the day, love is ruled by balance and the scorpionic aspects are harder for Venus to display, in theory. Venus in Scorpio is a sign of fall for Venus. I just write this here for the sake of clarity, not to cause distress, though.

It would not be impossible for you to achieve the deep relationship you are looking for, but it could be harder than normal, and it would likely require work on your end to transmute your venusian energies to where they can better connect with others. Maybe this comes through mental realizations such as the fact that relationships do lead to merging over time, just not right away. It is only for the beginning that some sort of dumbing down or generalizations need to occur to create an initial connection. This connection can then be worked upon later to grow to the desired state.

From a magickal standpoint, I would also understand that it can take some time to get to the desired goal here. There shouldn't be an expectation of a perfect relationship inbound from a super strong spell, but rather a steady transformation of your understanding of relationships and way you go about them, done through a combination of freeing workings, Astarte's ritual, along with love workings themselves. Doing a working and having a realization that gets you closer to your goal should still be considered a success here. The Gods' rituals can be done at any time, too, and they do help in a permanent sense.

Another thing to consider here is that by exposing yourself to casual relationships, especially in conjunction with spiritual work, this does give you some element of love, as well as better conditions for you to spiritually grow. It may not be perfect and may likely come with stress, but at least there is something for your soul to "have" in regards to love, which can counter subconcious ideas of not being able to have love. Doing this would be for the value of gaining experience, which would aid in successful merging in the future, as opposed to only seeking ideal partners from the start.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I don’t think there’s a problem with my being in attracting people. I’ve been said that I’m overqualified to have relationships.

So you should answer yourself the question "Why am I experiencing this?"
I think @Blitzkreig [JG] answer is a very valuable one...
Furthermore, your tendency to approve only the "ideal", consistent with your profound personality, is truly admirable.
But this implies the risk of having to wait sometimes. In life, ideal conditions are built with a lot of effort.

Blitzkreig [JG] wrote:View source

From reading this, there can be underlying assumptions like that the only relationship that would work is one which involves merging. There can even be an idea you may not ever find a partner, which then creates this desire to fully merge and "grip" at the tightest level, so they can never leave you. This idea may also reflect in how you view yourself here, not that what you say is not true, but the way you write it, which to me, seems like you are listing all the different aspects of your soul as "proof" that it is too hard or basically impossible to connect this with someone else. It is like saying, "look, I have too many puzzle pieces, I cannot connect them all into a harmonious way with you".

On the same note, it is also possible that you subconsciously present yourself in these ways as a method to "make sure" you are a good partner and ensure the existence of the bond which you may subconsciously fear may not exist otherwise. For example, if you put too much effort into your intellectual "input" of the relationship, this would make you seem valuable in a sense, but also hard to connect with.

At the end of the day, love is ruled by balance and the scorpionic aspects are harder for Venus to display, in theory. Venus in Scorpio is a sign of fall for Venus. I just write this here for the sake of clarity, not to cause distress, though.

It would not be impossible for you to achieve the deep relationship you are looking for, but it could be harder than normal, and it would likely require work on your end to transmute your venusian energies to where they can better connect with others. Maybe this comes through mental realizations such as the fact that relationships do lead to merging over time, just not right away. It is only for the beginning that some sort of dumbing down or generalizations need to occur to create an initial connection. This connection can then be worked upon later to grow to the desired state.

From a magickal standpoint, I would also understand that it can take some time to get to the desired goal here. There shouldn't be an expectation of a perfect relationship inbound from a super strong spell, but rather a steady transformation of your understanding of relationships and way you go about them, done through a combination of freeing workings, Astarte's ritual, along with love workings themselves. Doing a working and having a realization that gets you closer to your goal should still be considered a success here. The Gods' rituals can be done at any time, too, and they do help in a permanent sense.

Another thing to consider here is that by exposing yourself to casual relationships, especially in conjunction with spiritual work, this does give you some element of love, as well as better conditions for you to spiritually grow. It may not be perfect and may likely come with stress, but at least there is something for your soul to "have" in regards to love, which can counter subconcious ideas of not being able to have love. Doing this would be for the value of gaining experience, which would aid in successful merging in the future, as opposed to only seeking ideal partners from the start.

I don’t know. I have a very idealistic/intense idea of love that I can’t let go. A soulmate or deeper.

But I’m getting none either way so it doesn’t matter much.

It is tiring sometimes, yet I need it deeply. I’m pretty sure if I was wealthy, healthy or powerful but didn’t have this aspect of life dealt with I think death would be a better option for me.

I hate when people do astro, psychic, or tarot readings for me regarding this they always say the same fucking thing which is become rich work on your career and earthly stuff and you’ll find someone someday.
But I just feel I can’t survive or function without someone! I don’t want to be rich or successful materially so I can get someone. I’m tired of this shit..

And I can’t stand a relationship or marriage with a normie or just any person, but at the same time I’m getting nada so I can be desperate too.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I don’t know. I have a very idealistic/intense idea of love that I can’t let go. A soulmate or deeper.

But I’m getting none either way so it doesn’t matter much.

It is tiring sometimes, yet I need it deeply. I’m pretty sure if I was wealthy, healthy or powerful but didn’t have this aspect of life dealt with I think death would be a better option for me.

I hate when people do astro, psychic, or tarot readings for me regarding this they always say the same fucking thing which is become rich work on your career and earthly stuff and you’ll find someone someday.
But I just feel I can’t survive or function without someone! I don’t want to be rich or successful materially so I can get someone. I’m tired of this shit..

And I can’t stand a relationship or marriage with a normie or just any person, but at the same time I’m getting nada so I can be desperate too.

You say you've had interests and opportunities present themselves. Have you taken them up?

What do you do to place yourself in situations where attraction and romance can manifest?

Have you tried dating apps, or matchmakers, or looking in areas where people similar to you are likely to be?

You say you're too smart and all these other things. Have you had your IQ tested? You should read the curse of the high IQ by Aaron Clarey, it talks about the issues of being abnormally intelligent in a society designed for the lowest common denominator.

Another issue is that women's intelligence is distributed closer to the mean, so there are fewer highly intelligent women to choose from who would be able to relate to you intellectually.

I think you're too stuck in your own head and stuck on yourself, you need you learn to lighten up and have fun. There's a place for superficiality, it can be necessary for something deeper to develop.

Epiphany wrote:View source

I think you're too stuck in your own head and stuck on yourself, you need you learn to lighten up and have fun. There's a place for superficiality, it can be necessary for something deeper to develop.

I don’t mind that, however I haven’t met someone either.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I don’t know. I have a very idealistic/intense idea of love that I can’t let go. A soulmate or deeper.

But I’m getting none either way so it doesn’t matter much.

It is tiring sometimes, yet I need it deeply. I’m pretty sure if I was wealthy, healthy or powerful but didn’t have this aspect of life dealt with I think death would be a better option for me.

I hate when people do astro, psychic, or tarot readings for me regarding this they always say the same fucking thing which is become rich work on your career and earthly stuff and you’ll find someone someday.
But I just feel I can’t survive or function without someone! I don’t want to be rich or successful materially so I can get someone. I’m tired of this shit..

And I can’t stand a relationship or marriage with a normie or just any person, but at the same time I’m getting nada so I can be desperate too.

None of what we do in life, especially through our Satanic development, should be framed or done through the scope of repressing yourself and your desires. However, sometimes the current expressions of our energy are difficult, therefore we have to transmute or advance them. Done properly, your desires would be better met in a meaningful way to you, not in a way that you were forced to let go.

What I described above should be thought of more like a release valve for unhappiness, as well as a training course to improve your relationship skills. This would help you release sensitivity and other hang ups that would improve your perception of love, which then makes finding your ideal partner more likely, not less likely.

In the past you had encountered some love difficulties and felt understandably burnt, but there are lessons to be learned from those situations, so it shouldn't feel like a total waste of time. To me, you already had such a learning experience, where you described learning to dumb yourself down a bit. On the surface, this may appear like not showing your true self, but it was done for the sake of the initial stage of the relationship.

Whenever there are compulsions in a chart, usually some of the lessons involve an element of patience to be learned. However, this should not be thought of as never getting the final goal, but just as doing a step that brings you closer. When you consider the mechanics of creating a very deep relationship, how can this be done instantly? There is bound to be some element of "awkwardness" here, but that is not a true obstacle to the full harmony, it is only temporal.

When people interact with each other even in minor settings or ways, there is always some element of energy exchange. Some people are more or less closed off to this, but it does occur and this can also create problems, hence why we don't want to hang around bad people. However, this same mechanism is what can lead to love. Better connections make a stable relationship more likely, but in theory, some element of connection exists and is fueled by continued interactions with that person. That is how we become comfortable with people over time, for better or worse.

Epiphany wrote:View source

You say you've had interests and opportunities present themselves. Have you taken them up?

What do you do to place yourself in situations where attraction and romance can manifest?

Have you tried dating apps, or matchmakers, or looking in areas where people similar to you are likely to be?

I didn’t specifically reject an opportunity but I didn’t get a suitable opportunity. I loved people before and I might’ve entered situationships but never a relationship.

I am in uni.

I’ve tried and they don’t work for me or they generally don’t work in my country. Even if you pay, I paid for premium Tinder but it doesn’t work anyway.

I’m in no way IQ smart I’m honestly really shit at maths and stuff like this, but I’m well studied about variety of topics. Philosophy, poetry, writing, business, marketing, weight lifting, spirituality, occult, and sexuality.

I’m a very curious person and I’ve been actively reading and learning since I was like 9. Which is rare compared to my peers and in my country, other than that I’m not that smart.

Blitzkreig [JG] wrote:View source

None of what we do in life, especially through our Satanic development, should be framed or done through the scope of repressing yourself and your desires. However, sometimes the current expressions of our energy are difficult, therefore we have to transmute or advance them. Done properly, your desires would be better met in a meaningful way to you, not in a way that you were forced to let go.

What I described above should be thought of more like a release valve for unhappiness, as well as a training course to improve your relationship skills. This would help you release sensitivity and other hang ups that would improve your perception of love, which then makes finding your ideal partner more likely, not less likely.

In the past you had encountered some love difficulties and felt understandably burnt, but there are lessons to be learned from those situations, so it shouldn't feel like a total waste of time. To me, you already had such a learning experience, where you described learning to dumb yourself down a bit. On the surface, this may appear like not showing your true self, but it was done for the sake of the initial stage of the relationship.

Whenever there are compulsions in a chart, usually some of the lessons involve an element of patience to be learned. However, this should not be thought of as never getting the final goal, but just as doing a step that brings you closer. When you consider the mechanics of creating a very deep relationship, how can this be done instantly? There is bound to be some element of "awkwardness" here, but that is not a true obstacle to the full harmony, it is only temporal.

When people interact with each other even in minor settings or ways, there is always some element of energy exchange. Some people are more or less closed off to this, but it does occur and this can also create problems, hence why we don't want to hang around bad people. However, this same mechanism is what can lead to love. Better connections make a stable relationship more likely, but in theory, some element of connection exists and is fueled by continued interactions with that person. That is how we become comfortable with people over time, for better or worse.

So what can I do?
I don’t mind learning patience. However I’m getting zero relationships either way or anyway.

Just a situationship two years ago that she never said we were in a relationship. She just used me then fucked me over. Which is okay I’m over it by now but that’s the most action I ever got.

I’ve never been loved or even touched. I want to but I can’t.

Maybe it’s also the transits I’m going through I’ve been having a couple of shit transits regarding this for a couple of years. With Saturn and Venus.

But then again I never got loved before any transit either.

At this point I don’t want a perfect person or soulmate. Just anything would suffice. (Maybe not anything) but I really don’t have high standards at this point.

Even one-night stands would seem nice. But of course, even the slightest bit of sex is a whole situation and more in my country.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I don’t mind that, however I haven’t met someone either.

That's bullshit and you know it. You say all these things about how women think you're amazing, you're gorgeous, you make money and you have charisma and all this, you're in the middle of a buffet and cry that you're starving. You made that thread where you had a sweet, feminine young girl who was interested in you and you cucked yourself because she's a "muslim" which is really just her being a product of her family, her country and her culture.

You being alone is a choice and you have to be realistic and stop living in fantasy land. Life isn't a romance movie, people are real and they have faults and there are limits to how they can relate. Your neptune/scorpio fantasy of "merging" is not realistic, it's an ideal, a mirage.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I had many people and female prospects say I was amazing and that they’ve never met or will meet someone like me. I take care of my looks, workout, I’m making good money at a young age, and am ambitious.

Yet, I’m starved from intimacy and have been starving for many years, or maybe since forever.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I’m highly desperate, starving, that it’s not even funny.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

It will feel like someone who has suffered from extreme poverty all his life and is now trying to do a money spell.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I’ve been told by girls and female friends/love interests before I have magnetic charisma.

https://ancient-forums.com/threads/a-girl-falling-for-me-issues.290600/

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

So what can I do?
I don’t mind learning patience. However I’m getting zero relationships either way or anyway.

Just a situationship two years ago that she never said we were in a relationship. She just used me then fucked me over. Which is okay I’m over it by now but that’s the most action I ever got.

I’ve never been loved or even touched. I want to but I can’t.

Maybe it’s also the transits I’m going through I’ve been having a couple of shit transits regarding this for a couple of years. With Saturn and Venus.

But then again I never got loved before any transit either.

At this point I don’t want a perfect person or soulmate. Just anything would suffice. (Maybe not anything) but I really don’t have high standards at this point.

Even one-night stands would seem nice. But of course, even the slightest bit of sex is a whole situation and more in my country.

What options do you have through Uni, for example? In your culture, how easy is to develop a relationship with a girl? I don't mean through tinder where person will just swipe no if you are not a supermodel, but what about in your classes or any friend groups? The first thing I can think of is talking to a girl in your class in a friendly way, then asking if they want to get food or study together. You can ask a group of people to do this with you in order to build up relationships, but mitigate any one-on-one awkwardness.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I know I’ve vented about this before. (More times than I would like to count.)

But lack of sex and proper relationships (or any type of relationship even) is making me insane.

I’m highly desperate, starving, that it’s not even funny.

This is causing some questionable life choices and giving me extreme loneliness and depression in my daily life.

This has been on going for yeaaars. I think I felt this deep loneliness ever since 6th grade.
Sometimes, I feel like I need a real and powerful miracle for this to change.

I’m not bad looking however it feels I’m blocked from all this, maybe because of transits, astro placements, past life relationships, or karma, I don’t know.

It really is heavily affecting my mental health.

And I don’t know what to do about it.

everything has its moment I advise you to invoke the earth (control of yourself) and do labors of love, even if there are no specific dates if there is no door, create it, if it is less powerful but you always start with something and be constant.

I can also relate to you because I live in a country that is of a different subrace than me. So there is like actual no chance for me to get a fitting partner.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

I don’t know. I have a very idealistic/intense idea of love that I can’t let go. A soulmate or deeper.

I do not know about you in deep but I read some of your posts and it seems you suffered from childhood, in some ways.
What others said is very supportive, rich of insights and helpful.
But - all we do with magick and meditation is done with our mind. So what if the mind has some "hidden fault" (programming) not allowing our workings to manifest for our own internal setback?

What I mean is. Have you been loved as a kid? How did you receive love, if any, have your caregivers been cold, warm, hating, loving... ?
Having been unloved as a child may reflect in the whole adult life. If deeply you feel you have not been love, you won't allow yourself to receive love as you have been trained not to be loved.
Idealistic idea of a partner may have its roots in the missing love of a mother/father.
I think, learning to love yourself, may be the key to open up to relationships.

MercuryWisdom wrote:View source

And I can’t stand a relationship or marriage with a normie or just any person, but at the same time I’m getting nada so I can be desperate too.

I share this with you. I really cannot stand "normals" - each time they ever open their mouth to say something mainstream or idiot, I feel void and want to leave, I tried to correct and lead them to think too many times.

What I found out, is I am attracting the wrong people, for my own fault. Delving into "common people" is not helping as common people have no insight, they are basically workers striving to earn more money, and fighting each other to prevail. We need to look to higher people : there are, but you do not find them in the streets or in "common life", as they are few, and they stay in their "area" so to speak.
I am speaking for myself here - the desire to be "a common one" may have been ingrained in childhood together with self-unlove. So if I was not loved, am I worth to connect with higher people? Unconscious may probably say no.

I think, loving yourself and giving yourself value (on the unconscious deep level) might help to attract better people, thus relationships.
I hope my insights may be of help for your suffering,

I didn’t want to open the forums for 2 days at all because I was hurt by the overall personal situation and also person that just pissed on my wounds insulting me thinking they know what I’m going through when they don’t understand shit and how much of this is so fucking complicated and painful. (They can’t, it’s an online forum)
And other people reacting fire emoji to their message so they show they’re edgy and cool and I’m just, whatever.

But I’m thankful that when I gathered the courage to open it again I was able to help other brothers and sisters to vent as well, who actually might understand how complex and painful this can be no matter how different our individual situations actually are.

And I’m thankful to brothers who showed care and good advice regardless like brother Blitz and others.

However this whole thread was to vent because the hurt and loneliness was unbearable. I understand now I should only talk about this to people who are understanding either way and are good friends.

Plus, this is my own path and I should solve my own problems and think about them I just wanted to vent and share for a bit which has both helped and hurt but it’s okay.