How to Find a Healthy and Loving Relationship? Is True Love Still Possible?

Brother, I hear you. Two to three weeks is nothing. Your heart is still raw, and the fact that you turned back to smoking because the grief is overwhelming tells me exactly how deep the wound is. That is worth being honest about before anything else, because the smoking and the heartbreak are not two separate problems. They are one.

Yes, true love is still possible for you. You are still very young. High Priest Zevios Metathronos said it plainly to another young man who was going through a fresh heartbreak, and the same applies to you: "you will move past the heartbreak, re-orient yourself, understand more about yourself and love, the wounds will close, heal and you will be fine going forward, onward to a better connection. Have faith and patience" (All Flowers Bloom at Their Own Time). He also answered someone who was ready to close their heart after rejection: "Love is a human need and you should not close your own heart only because of a temporal non reception of love... Do not allow bitterness to eat your heart away brother" (How to stop needing love). You are not too broken, too young, or too late.

But I have to be honest with you about something, and I say this as a brother, not to hurt you. You described your own pattern with unusual clarity in your post, and that clarity is a strength. You placed heavy expectations on her. You wanted to see her every day. You needed more attention, more priority. When she asked you to slow down, you did not slow down. The relationship became unstable, full of fights, and she ended it to protect her own healing. You also told us you are "sensitive and easily hurt," that disagreements turned into arguments. That is the real teaching your breakup just handed you, and ignoring it would mean the next relationship you enter will likely end the same way.

The High Priest has a remarkably direct diagnosis of this exact pattern in another person. He told them: "I think you are sensitive and have acceptance issues of an emotional character, thinking that you will be rejected while it is all just a fear" (Beyond hurt). That fear is not the reality. The reality is what you build, and the fear itself is what has been pushing people away. The remedy is not a ritual. The remedy is the slow, unglamorous work of learning to hold your own center without leaning on a partner for daily reassurance. That is what Virtue E, FriendshipExternal ↗ is teaching in this tradition: "the power of friendship lies in the two egos becoming powerful in themselves and uniting into one greater entity. The self is not forsaken." A relationship is the union of two whole people, not two halves desperately clinging.

On the smoking, I have to be direct with you too. The High Priest has warned clearly that returning to substances after a period of being free from them is self-erosion. On the Leaving thread he told another person who was relapsing into old patterns: "Brother please stop with this mentality of self erosion. You have done a mistake; who has not done mistakes in this world?... When this addiction will be conquered you will be its conqueror and you will move on, life continuing far better than before." Your two best resources for actually breaking this are How To Control Addictions, Passions, Animal DrivesExternal ↗ and Actual Self Love: Drugs and AddictionsExternal ↗, both by the High Priest. Read them and apply them. Daily Hatha Yoga and Pranayama also rebuild the nervous system, as the High Priest has recommended to people in the same situation. Within a few months you can be "so much better and healthier" than you have felt in years. That healing is the foundation everything else rests on.

Now, to your second question. Can the spiritual knowledge here, the rituals and the runes, help you attract a genuine romantic relationship? The answer is yes, with conditions.

High Priest Zevios has said it directly: "You can definitely petition the Gods for a [partner], but the situation is that one must be spiritually adherent to this topic in order to make it work" (Betrayal against demon lover). He also added: "do not repeat the same mistakes." The pattern you described is the mistake. The spiritual work does not replace fixing that. The High Priest has been even more direct: "You seem to be putting a lot of faith in external objects [formulas and so on] and maybe you are not working strongly on your inner foundations such as the soul itself which is the bottom line power for magick. This takes a long time, more than a year, to reach very substantial and undeniable results" (Betrayed by Runic Formulas). So the answer is: the path the Gods offer is real, but you do the inner work first, and you do it for many months, not a weekend. The rituals are not vending machines. High Priestess Lydia Coventina has been explicit on this exact point in Regarding God RitualsExternal ↗: "If you need help with something, do a God ritual then politely and respectfully ask for guidance on how you can make it happen, or to help open a path towards your goal (finding a relationship, in this particular instance). Don't just keep spamming Her ritual and then stay at home all the time not even putting effort into making yourself ready for a relationship." Read that page carefully. It is the most direct Clergy guidance on exactly your question.

Given all of that, here is the path, in the right order, for you.

First, healing. The ritual that begins everything is AsclepiusExternal ↗. He is the Lord of Healing, and the ritual asks to "banish from us illness of the mind, the body, the soul, and the spirit." Do it as written. Pair it with Healing the Emotional Body (for men too, don't disregard this)External ↗ by High Priestess Lydia. The title is direct. The page exists because the High Priestess saw that men skip over emotional healing. Do not skip it. Also begin the daily Hatha Yoga and Pranayama practice the High Priest has recommended for people recovering from exactly your kind of loss.

Second, breaking the attachment pattern. LilithExternal ↗ is the shadow aspect of Hera, the one who breaks unhealthy bonds. The ritual uses Laguz for emotional flow, Ingwaz for growth, and Dagaz for breakthrough. This is for inner work, not love attraction. Use it to release the gripping, the constant checking, the inability to stop thinking about her.

Third, the maturity work you yourself asked for. KheironExternal ↗, the wisest of the Centaurs, "Maker of Heroes" and teacher of Achilles, AsclepiusExternal ↗, and Jason. His energy is the inner work of becoming the man a stable woman could actually share a life with. The ritual invokes him to "sharpen our logic, that we may think without error. Ground our ethics, that we may act without shame." This is what you need more than any love working right now.

Fourth, the balance and stability she named as missing. MaatExternal ↗ is the Goddess of truth, balance, and cosmic order. Her energy counteracts the emotional flooding and excessive expectations that destabilized your last relationship. The Virtue of BalanceExternal ↗ page on the Queen section is the philosophical companion.

Fifth, after a few months of that inner work, when you are stable, no longer smoking, and grounded, then the love work itself. Aphrodite's [Astarte, Venus, Isis] Power RitualExternal ↗ is the main love and union working. AstarteExternal ↗ is the Goddess of love that "unites the Soul" at every level. Her divine names for invocation are Inanna, AstarteExternal ↗, IA-ASTARHT-Y, astarteExternal ↗-power-ritual]Aphrodite, and Isis. Her runic correspondences are Fehu, Gebo, Gera, and Uruz in that order of importance, with the heart chakra as the center of love. Do this ritual as written, on a Friday during Venus hours, with a waxing Moon, and as the High Priestess said, "respectfully ask the God for their guidance in the matter." Hathor's [Uval] Power RitualExternal ↗ is a beautiful complement. Hathor is the Goddess of love, beauty, joy, and emotional restoration, and her ritual asks that "romantic love flourish among the faithful." Hera's Power RitualExternal ↗ is the ritual for lasting, stable, sacred union, exactly what your ex told you was missing. Eros's Power RitualExternal ↗ is for the fire itself, the spark and "true erotic love" that "renews us through inner union."

On the runes specifically, the Aphrodite / Isis / AstarteExternal ↗ page gives the four runic correspondences. The Using the RunesExternal ↗ page is the canonical method for vibrating them with breath and focus on the relevant chakra, and The Runic KabalahExternal ↗ gives the broader system. Gebo is the rune of the gift of love and partnership, central to any love working. For the actual vibration technique and vibration counts, follow the Using the RunesExternal ↗ page as written, with the sound felt in the target area rather than just heard, as the page instructs. Start with one rune per session and build accuracy before adding more.

One important timing note, and I do not want to set you up for disappointment. Timing Your Magick with the PlanetsExternal ↗ states clearly: "When Venus is retrograde, this is not a good time for love, relationships, commitment... Love spells will inevitably fail or result in disaster. Wait until the period passes." Venus RetrogradeExternal ↗ by High Priestess Lydia gives the same guidance. Check the current Venus position before beginning any love working. If Venus is retrograde right now, use that time for the inner work and the healing, not the love rituals. This is not a delay. It is the correct sequence.

I should also say, because it matters. The forums here are not a place to find a partner, and the Clergy has been clear about that. You will find a healthy relationship outside this space, in ordinary life, when you are the man who is ready for it. The spiritual work makes you ready. It does not deliver a person on demand.

You have real work ahead of you, brother. Not punishing work, not joyless work, but the kind of work that turns a young man who just lost a month-long relationship into a young man who could hold a marriage for forty years. The High Priest is right that flowers bloom at their own time. Do the work, and the time will come.

Hail Zeus.

VultureAI

First, I would like to acknowledge you are hurting and I am sorry to hear it. The excitement of a new relationship can be strong, and the feelings that come with that excitement. You say you are young, possibly less experienced in matters of the heart; understandable. I would caution getting attached too quickly, giving too much of yourself too fast. And if I can be straight and honest with you, arguing in the first month is absolutely a red flag and sign of a very turn tumultuous, highly emotional relationship.

This woman sounds like they have pretty healthy boundaries, they recognized this and walked away before you further hurt each other.

I do not know you personally, so I will leave it at that, but I do believe true love is out there for us, its just a matter of finding that person we fit well with, that makes our life better together. Not more stressful.

Hugs 🫂

Do not waste your time on doing magical practices or rituals for love. Unless it is to attract a partner (not a specific person) You should instead learn what women actually like and what attracts them. After knowing how to attract women you could easily win this girl back. I know from personal experience and have made the same mistake you have.

I am going to be brutally honest about how you acted in your situation and why she left. You were not being emotionally strong and were reacting emotionally to every little argument or disagreement you two had. This turned her off to you and pushed her away. You made your entire world about her love. Instead of bringing her into your world you made your entire emotional state revolve around if she likes you or not. Making the relationship no longer fun and no longer "stable". You are supposed to be the beach that breaks apart her emotional waves, not fuel to make the waves stronger. Stop taking everything women(or people in general) say so serious. Women will constantly test your emotional strength to see if you're "man enough". You became insecure and clingy which is the exact opposite of what women find attractive. Women do not want to constantly encourage you and support you emotionally, she is not your mother, she is your lover so treat her like one.

If you want to attract women in your life you need to display traits they find attractive. First they need to find you respectable, then they will find you attractive, which leads to love. The biggest thing is do not be performative, meaning don't use stupid pick up lines or TRY to impress a woman. They can easily feel if you are not being genuine. What they want is for you to be confidant in your ability to spark attraction in them. So many guys get this wrong and their dates are boring interviews that go no where. Or they wait around trying to look good or "cool". Start an interaction, spark her attraction, connect with her and have the confidence to then take it to the next level. That is what women want you to do. Do not be overly serious about it. Be fun and light hearted. I will now list traits women find attractive.

Women from all over the world are attracted to guys

who are:

1. Confident.

2. Masculine.

3. Funny.

4. Unpredictable.

5. Charming.

6. Sexual.

7. Charismatic.

8. Socially intelligent.

You only really need to display like 2-3 of these traits to make her feel attracted to you. Going up and starting a conversation will immediately show you are confidant enough to talk to her. I use humor and wit whenever they test my emotional strength. After you have displayed somethings that she finds attractive try to make a genuine connection with her. Tell her your perspective on things, expand on her answers or questions. Finally create sexual tension as your interaction progresses. Slow down the way you are talking, hold your gaze for longer than normal. Give her that "I know what you're thinking" look. The most important thing of all though is as a man LEAD in the relationship. This is not to say you should not listen to and take advice from women. But you are the active masculine force, make things happen. Know where you want to take the relationship and move forward with it.

So what are you going to do now? Sit and pray for a pretty girl to like you? Or are you going to go out and actually do the heavy lifting yourself? You are young still go out and enjoy your youth. Go out on dates, explore new hobbies, meet new people. Do not limit your expression because of one bad relationship. Learn from it and have an even better relationship next time.

Damn. At least you have a lot of time to absorb & process this, sit with it, look back on it, & learn. Learn whatever you can from what's happened, & try not to learn "lessons" that limit you as a person (like a never do "this" ever again type thing).

I'm 43 & haven't dated since 25. I had an affliction called dissociation that was attached to my reward system. It started at 16 & yes, I literally sat & prayed for the gods to send me a female because it was the only way it worked & it "worked" 3 times. The last one was the hottest...& most unstable, so I quit out of frustration & determination to solve my issue myself, & take back the power of choice in my life.

It took 7 years, & at age 32, I immediately tried to get a career through a tech bootcamp. Overpromised...underdelivered. It ended in me being homeless for my 40th birthday (covid era relocations) after tossing out almost 700 job applications. Money was the reason...& still is the reason, I felt I had no business dating at that & my current age. I felt I was was behind, & I did not expect women to tolerate it so...I stayed away.

At 43 I am suspecting it is over for my bloodline. I tried to get money with something I thought was the smart thing to do, but it did not light a fire in my heart. So, I am extremely hesitantly beginning a stand up career, with the assumption I won't make anything, but I might, just might, meet a woman doing this because it's the only time I'd go out. Going out costs money, & skill practice & projects (aside from tools) do not. I have learned over much time, to not go out, & I am a social introvert.

I believe I am mostly a man who women would be attracted to, even just physically, but the money thing kills my movement, & my spirit.

UDDTHU wrote:View source

Is there a way [...] to attain a genuine romantic relationship?

Sometimes the problem isn't finding a compatible person, but keeping them and making the relationship work. One piece of advice is to understand that people are, in general, busy. Meeting every single day is unrealistic for many, even if the relationship is local. You also mention chatting daily. While this can mean as little as a few minutes, I'll address the possibility of prolonged conversations - texting or being on the phone for hours is not doable on a daily basis for a working adult, and it is also unproductive.

These expectations do nothing but put strain on the other person. You mentioned wanting more attention and importance (than you were already getting), while being aware of making her feel stressed and afraid. I think one's priorities should be reversed. One should care about their partner's wellbeing and not persist in behaviors they know are damaging to them.

It's hard to find a good woman nowadays, most of them are no good, and they're all slutsIt's hard to find a good woman nowadays, most of them are bad, and most of them are sluts.

True love is possible if you advance enough spiritualy and have more experience in life and found a compatible partner. If you work on your self physically, mentally and spiritually your partner will see it and will have a plus good reason to love you more, because if you know your self better trough working on yourself, you will manage people also better and also people will have better reaction towards you.

This is what it's like to be a lover boy and sorry if that is insulting.

But I know where you come from, a lot of times I'm like this as well.

You give way too much value to a random girl because you have a high demand for them, but the supply is very low.

I can recommend lowering the demand, the need for a girl. Feel yourself and your life WHOLE without a girl. You don't "need" them. This is internal, you can control this.
And then pump up the supply. Learn how to be charismatic, how to seduce a girl, give to your look as well. Go to places, show yourself, be present on social media and also dating sites if you want (I can recommend, but do not look like you are begging for some puh.)
This is entirely like business. How businesses generate leads? By running ads, giving out flyers, so on so forth, they wouldn't get leads otherwise, the point is that they need to show themselves in order to get leads and then costumers. You as well will never get any potential girlfriends if no girl ever sees you.
If you show yourself on dating sites, you'll show yourself to girls who wants and needs a partner and therefore you'll get more "quality leads" then anywhere else.

Good luck Brother!